


NullMage

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Background Character Death, Blood, Cussing, Death, Depression, Graphic Description, Hospitalization, Hostage Situations, Insanity, Insecurity, Lots of Stabbing, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Murder, Near Death Experiences, Sleep Deprivation, Stabbing, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-03-01 00:00:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 48,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2752031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where magic exists, there is one sole troll based being who has none. This magicless troll is fortunate enough to have ten of the worst possible friends on the planet, a nasty drinking habit and one best friend... Thats until he meets a dashing young human named Dave.<br/>His world changes, and I mean it when I say changes.<br/>Seriously, the change is phenomenal. One can not fathom the immensity of this change. The change is so grand you probably won't be able to live with it anymore and just stare at a wall or something and wonder how you've come across such a spectacular. You might even praise Dave for the change, or me for creating it. I will be your new worshipping token (just kidding).<br/>Oh by the way the nulled mage is Karkat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this is only the first chapter  
> there might be some fish puns in there due to shortcuts and my dorky pun admiration  
> i got lazy towards the end and kinda rushed  
> a lot  
> so yeah, enjoy if that's anything plausible

My friends are colossal douchebags. I often find myself wondering why the fuck I still hang around those fuckheads. Whatever. I guess it doesn't fucking matter if I'm fucking happy or not with them. So long as they get what they want... Dear fucking gog they are needy little fuckers.

  
"Hey, are you okay?" I heard a voice behind me. Can't the fucker see I'm busy crying like a fucking waterfall?

  
"Fucking fine asshole." I answered. "Just go away."

  
"Are you sure?" I jumped; someone had placed a hand on my shoulder.

  
"Yeah." I brought my hand to my eyes and wiped the tears away and stood up only to turn and face the blonde fucker. "I'm fine." I look at him with cold disconcerted eyes. "Thanks regardless for your petty attempt at counseling me. I don't fucking need it though. Bye fucker." I walked away from him and decided that behind a tree is not the best place to fucking hide. I kept walking, getting used to my facade.

  
I go to the bar clearly with a fake I.D., courtesy of Sollux fucking Captor. I've been using this shit for a fucking year and I have yet to be busted. "Hey Butch. The usual." I said to the waiter. He was a nice guy, probably one of the nicer guys in this fucking planet of dimwits. He worked for the Lalonde bar, a famous yet cheap as fuck bar were I've become one of the main customers. I heard the Lalonde brat goes to the same fucking school with me, I've also heard she's a future Einstein. The kid's got wits. Fucking wonderful for her.

  
"A Samuel Adams coming right up Kirkit." I always cringe at that name. The gog damned shithead Captor decided that changing the one fucking vowel of my already weird as fuck name would be a burst of fucking genius irony. It was hard as fuck explaining what the hell was wrong with my name. Butch always snickered at it. Funny enough I'm the one that says "cut the bullcrap" to whoever finds it hi-fucking-larious to call him "Bitch". Fucking hypocrite.

  
"Yeah. Thanks." I say sitting on the stool and dropping my head on my hands. My mind couldn't help but wonder off into the last time my friends made fun of me, in other words, about an hour ago. They were basically doing what they always fucking do: making fun of me and whatever the fuck I do. That shit ticks me off.

  
"Here you go." Butch handed me the beer, received my money and went to the next customer. A guy with an odd face. He was strange. He had a fedora, wore fancy dancy clothes and a smoking pipe (which wasn't even lit) hanging from his mouth. Fucking classic gentleman.  
I take a sip and drown away my fucking sorrows with the gog awful (yet strangely addicting) beer.

  
Getting out of the bar was just as exhilarating as getting in, if only getting in was exhilarating. I wasn't really drunk. I was only somewhat drunk. Somewhat. I had enough to make me tipsy but not enough to make me the "holy shit the world is upside down!" kind of drunk.

  
"KK. Wait up." A familiar voice called out to me.

  
"Fuck no." I kept on walking regardless of the idiot shouting my name... until of course the idiot shouting my name grabbed my arm an yanked me his direction.

  
"You smell like fucking beer. Did you go to the bar again?" Sollux said with a cocky grin... Or was that a frown?

  
"No. I stayed home all day and studied for the fucking final exam."

  
"Karkat... It's November. The final exam is next year on May. How many did you have?"

  
"About... three? No wait. Five. It was five. No four. Fuck. It was a number. What number? I don't fucking know."

  
"I regret giving you that card."

  
"I regret not having that card sooner." He shook his head and facepalmed.

  
"You have a problem."

  
"I'm sure drinking will solve that."

  
"I think drinking is the problem."

  
"Clearly you aren't thinking straight. Are you drunk?" Did he scoff? No?

  
"Very funny KK. Lets just get you home okay?"

  
"Why are you here?" I asked.

  
"Because I'm your friend and I happened to find you walking around drunk like a fucking idiot." He retorted.

  
"I'm not drunk." I say as he takes my arm and pulls me to the right direction.

  
"Keep telling yourself that."

  
"I'm not." A sigh? A chuckle? I couldn't really tell, I don't really know what's what with him.

  
We're home now, just the two of us, and I'm bumping around on the furniture pieces like a fucking bumper car. I'm like fucking Batman, an orphaned little fuck, and then like Cinderella, annoyed and abused by the fucking stepfather. Can't say I care all that much though, he's out most of the time.

  
"What's the excuse for drinking this time?" Sollux asked shoving me on the couch. That wasn't very nice.

  
"Same as fucking always." I said lying down. "Can I have some water?"

  
"Sure..." He turns around. "...what did they call you this time?" Sollux went into the kitchen and started the tremendously and abusively simple task of getting water to be poured on a cup.

  
"Fucking mutant was my favorite." I grumble a bit. "Nullmage was their favorite."

  
"Hey, don't let them get under your skin KK." Sollux came back with that water. I took a skip.

  
"Sollux, they basically live under my skin. It's Insultopia under this." I said poking my tanned skin. "Population? 10 motherfuckers. You, regardless of your petty insults, thankfully live elsewhere. Congratu-fucking-lations." I took another sip of water.

  
"Come on KK, I'm sure they don't mean it."

  
"I am." I closed my eyes. "Want to sleep over?"

  
"It's a school night."

  
"So?"

  
"Alright. I'll tell my mom."

  
"Cool." I opened my eyes. "I'll go get your pjs."

  
"I call top bunk."

  
"Fuck. Fine. You can have the top bunk. Buzzbrain." I grumbled getting up and moving clumsily into my room. I open a few drawers until i find Sollux's sleeping junk he forgot in my place a few months back, I also took his clothes he left last time he slept over.

  
In the morning, after a full night of teenage fuckery, I had an awful fucking hangover. Thankfully Sollux was a patient little fuck and helped me not murder innocent items and humans. The father wannabe unit was too busy being asleep to notice my state of being.  
Getting ready was a pain. I didn't really have to worry about my hair (since it was always a fucking mess), but everything else was a pain. Sollux snickered whenever I struggled with remembering where I put my crap or how to put shit on.

  
Sollux was almost as fucking short as I was, which really pisses me off. I wish he was shorter than I was. He had the oddest appearance I've ever seen. Ever. One of his eyes is blue and the other is reddish brown. The fucker is a ginger, and he for some hellish reason wanted blue highlights. Fucking idiot. In other words, his hair matches his eyes, it's the weirdest shit since Lady Gaga. His favorite color was mustered yellow, who the hell likes mustard yellow? He had a pale skin that contrasted against my tanned one.

  
I on the other hand had a mildly odd appearance. For some unknown reason my eyes are red. Fucking bright red. People think I'm albino (because of my white hair), but that doesn't make sense because of my tanned skin. People think I'm an old guy who had plastic surgery or casted a spell to look young again. Who the fuck would do that? This is why I paint my hair black and red. To be more specific, the sides of my head are a red buzz cut and the top of my head is painted black, although somehow the white still appears in highlights. Fucking annoying.  
"Ready to go to school?" Sollux asked smirking over my messed up state of being.

  
"Fuck no. Lets go." I said opening the door and grabbing my bag.

 

"Did you do the Spell Casting homework?"

  
"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure I fucked up most of the questions."

  
"Good job." I rolled my eyes. "I'm glad it was paperwork this time."

  
"I'm not. I suck at paperwork." I snickered. "Shut up."

  
"Didn't say anything."

  
School was the most infuriating shit in existence. Every fucking class is about how to use magic, even art class. Before you are enrolled you have to take this fucking stupid test that classifies you as either a human mage or troll mage. Human mages use materialistic magic, for example creating bombs in midair or taking something from another plane of existence and bringing it into this one. Troll mages use non-materialistic magic, like emotions or gravity. In some odd cases a human mage can use troll magic and vice versa. I can't use magic at fucking all. I was classified as a troll mage, but I'm a null mage (at least that's what they call me). Each mage has a specific element they manipulate the easiest (even if they can manipulate others). Sollux (also a troll mage) can manipulate chaos and sort of see the future sometimes (and sometimes he can even manipulate items... it's his secret human mage powers that he hasn't really told anyone about them aside from me because I'm fucking special). Aradia (a troll mage and Sollux's crush) manipulates ghosts but can somewhat change time.

  
Troll mages and human mages don't often hang around without arguing a shit ton. Human mages think troll mages are inferior and the troll mages think human mages are inferior. It's a fucking dispute over who's better. Both Sollux and myself laugh at the fuckers who start arguing. In all out honesty you can't really tell a difference between each mage except that a troll mage's aura has horns in it (and you can only see auras when you concentrate enough hard enough, even a null mage like myself can do that). Sadly because of this moronic difference all of my friends are trolls. And every single fucking one of them (except Sollux) is a fucking douchebag.

  
"Hey Karkat. Can I see your homework?" Gamzee asked me.

  
"Let me guess, you were too fucking high to even write your name correctly." Gamzee was a mind-numbing being. I actually liked talking to him when he is high, but when he's sober it's like he's turned into a fucking minefield.

  
"Yeah motherfucker. Anyways, can I?" I already knew Gamzee was demanding to see the answers.

  
"No." I shrugged him off and walking away from him, knowing I just made a stupid mistake. His hand grabbed my shoulder and turned me back around to face him.

  
"I don't think you understood me motherfucker." His grip tightened, I held back a whimper of pain.

  
"Hands off." Sollux said, his lisp as hilarious as always. He put his hand on Gamzee's wrist and glared at him most likely causing chaos in his mind. Gamzee's grip loosened and his hand went to his head. Yeah, Gamzee's now in a mindfucking chaos zone.

  
"Thanks." I said to Sollux as soon as we had run off from Gamzee and entered our classroom.

  
"It's cool. Don't worry about it."

  
Half of the class was human mages, and they sat on the left section of the classroom, the other half on the right section was made up of all troll mages. I often found the two sides either ignoring each other or sending hateful glances. I looked at the human section, wondering who was hating on us now. My eyes were met with a grin from a blonde haired boy. He looked familiar. His orangeish brown eyes looked at me stoically and he waved his hand. I frowned looking at the troll section wondering whom it was he was waving at.

  
"Is everything alright?" Sollux asked.

  
"Yeah." I said thoughtlessly looking back at the human mage with a curious scowl on my face. He chuckled and looked away.

  
"You sure? Did a human say something to you?" I looked at Sollux with full attention on him now.

  
"No, I just thought I saw something."

  
In a few minutes, Gamzee stormed into the room angrily looking at Sollux and myself. Sollux snickered a bit and I thought about what time of day he'd come and kick my ass with his miracle magic. He, thankfully, sat a few desks away from me.

  
Sollux sat to my right, to my left was an empty row with no desks (this is the divisor the students created to separate humans from trolls), behind me sat this really annoying girl who was named Nepeta, she's one of my friends (one of the least bothersome which I guess is good), and in front of me was Eridan, Sollux hated his guts. I guess he was a friend, but a rather unclassy friend.

  
Nepeta's main element was the manipulation of felines... or rather, their mindsets? And she was basically a fucking cupid, although her magic only lasts a few minutes. Eridan on the other hand, his magic was just weird. He was classified as a troll mage, but thus far he's only been using human magic so I don't really know what his element is. Gamzee uses miracle magic; I don't have any idea as to how I'd explain it... Basically he can just... make miracles? I don't fucking know.  
We're in lunch now. I sat as far away from Gamzee as I could, although considering we sat in the same table that was a bit hard. 12 people (including Sollux, Gamzee, Eridan, Nepeta and myself) sat at this table. The other motherfuckers that sat with us were: Terezi (an ex-girlfriend of mine), Vriska (I don't know if she's Terezi's best friend or worst enemy), Feferi (I know for a fact she's crushing on Sollux), Aradia, Tavros (I think he and Vriska used to date? Gamzee admitted to liking him a while back though), Equius (another of Sollux's enemies, mainly because he also likes Aradia, otherwise they both are good friends), and Kanaya (she's a good friend, actually she sometimes defends me like Sollux does).

  
"So nubs..." A clear reference to my nubby horns in my aura. "...what are you doing Friday night?" Terezi asked. The answer was: probably getting drunk senseless (a nasty habit I picked up after Sollux forced me to stop cutting, the fucker literally used his human mage abilities to take away any sharp objects from me).

  
"Nothing." I said performing abstinence of eating due to my loss of apatite. "Why do you ask?"

  
"Well, we're planning on going to Eridan's party, you should come."

  
"No thanks." I said plainly, I hated Eridan's house parties. It was his personal attempt to be popular and liked and hopefully get laid. He often hits on everyone especially Sollux and me. I think he just wants to have hate sex.

  
"Oh come on! Don't be a party pooper, I'm sure you'll enjoy it!" Terezi said. "I heard there will be drinks." She winked. Nobody really knows about my habit except for Sollux and Terezi. Terezi only knows because of her keen sense of smell she acquired after performing a senses heightening spell after loosing her vision (it only heightened her sense of taste and smell though). Thankfully she never broadcasted my addiction to anyone though, she does have a strong sense of justice (since that's her element) and it's only fair to keep one's secret a secret so long as it affects no one else.

  
"I don't care. I'm not going." I insisted.

  
"I'll turn it into a corpse party if you come." Aradia smiled that creepy smile of hers... I wonder how Sollux could like her sometimes.

  
"I... gross?" I frowned unsure as to how to respond to such a statement.

  
"Come on nully." A clear reference as to how I can't use magic. "I'm sure you'll finally smile... or is your element anger and sadness?" A chuckle came from Vriska. "I wouldn't doubt that coming from you."

  
"Fuck you." I said getting up. I could tell Sollux was watching me, ready to defend me if need be.

  
"Awww are you going to leave us Karkitty?" Nepeta whined.

  
"Yeah. I am." I walked away from the lunch table and left the cafeteria. The school didn't really care what you did during your lunch period since it was about an hour long (in order to rest the students' mana supplies for more classes). So long as you went back into your classroom when lunch was over you could go whenever. I went to the park. I always go to the abandoned park, nobody really goes there anymore since it's really old and surrounded by woods... Actually, I'm pretty sure nobody fucking remembers the shitty park. I happen to know it only because I stumbled on it when I got lost in the woods once.

  
I sat on the old tire swing, rocking myself not really thinking about anything in particular. This place was always so calm, it was almost as if my troubles never followed me here... Nobody really knew about this place... not even Sollux. Here I was isolated from society. That was usually a good thing... but sometimes it's a bit scary knowing nobody would be able to hear you scream.

  
Class was about to start, I had just sat down and Eridan turned around in his seat to talk to me. "Hello Karkat."

  
"Hey fucker." I looked at him not up for bullshit.

  
"You should come over Friday night."

  
"And why the fuck would I do that?" I glared back at him.

  
"Because Kar, you need to live a little." I frowned disgustedly as he winked at me.

  
"No fucking thank you." Someone pocked my back, Nepeta of course. "What do you want?"

  
"Come on Karkitty, I know you want to come! I'm sure you'll have fun."

  
"No means no Nepeta." I sighed.

  
"I think maybe you should go." Sollux said not really looking at me, he was looking mostly at Aradia. I understood what he wanted.

  
Sollux was my best friend, he was always there for me no matter if the odds were stacked up against us or not. He's been there for me since we first me and he's probably saved my ass more times than I can count... And now he wanted me to be there for him.

  
"Alright. I'll go."

  
The party was lamer than I expected it to be. After the first hour or so I managed to leave Sollux alone with Aradia while taking a heavy blow of Eridan's poor attempts at flirting. Sollux better grovel at my feet thankfully for falling victim to this insolence for him.

  
"So Kar, I think it's time you've considered we take things to the next level." Did Eridan's eyebrows seriously wiggle?

  
"Thanks, but I'm fine as is." I force myself not to shudder at the thought of being in a relationship with this guy.

  
"Of course you are Kar... Keep telling yourself that. It's okay to be shy." I cringed. "But there's no need to be coy."

  
"Fuck this shit. No, we are staying friends."

  
"Can't say I didn't try."

  
"I'd say you tried too fucking hard." I muttered. Eridan shrugged.

  
"Hello motherfuckers." I turn around to face the tall troll mage.

  
"Hey fuckbreath." I replied acting as innocent as fucking possible because holy shit that guy has issues. Not for the first time I hope this guy is high as the fucking Empire State Building.

  
"Want to have a drink with me? The alcohol here is a fucking miracle motherfucker." Yeah, he's high as fuck.

 

"No I'm good. I don't drink." I lied. To be honest I was itching to have a taste of that alcohol, but like hell was I going to allow myself to reveal my addiction to my friends.

  
"Oh come on Karkat, what's the matter with one drink? Don't tell me you nullmages can't hold down your liquor."

  
"I don't drink." I repeated, convincing myself that just this once abstinence is the best shit ever. I'm fucking hard to convince.

  
"How about some sopor then?" I shook my head. "I'm sure a nullmage wouldn't be too affected by it since it's a magical herb!"

  
"Actually I think I might just leave the party." I turned around walking and getting pissed. "You know, to let you mages have your magic fun." I looked over at Sollux's general area, he was laughing. That's good for the fucker and for me; my job here was done. All I had to do now was wait in the car until he hauls his ass over there and asks me to drive him home.

  
"Come on Kar. Don't leave." Eridan grabbed my wrist pulling me back. "Just because you're not as good in magic as we are doesn't mean you can't have fun either." I pulled my arm back to no avail.

  
"Let go Eridan."

  
"Only if you promise to stay." I could almost feel the smoke leaving my ears.

  
"Fucking hell no dipshit. I came to this fucking party to fucking have a good fucking time. You assholes keep on annoying the living hell out of me so how the hell do you expect me to "have fun"? Let go of my fucking arm before I go ape shit banana bonkers over this bullcrap and raise a fucking armada of degrading statements towards every aspect of your insane mindset that seems to somehow revolve around itself."

  
"Kar?" Eridan let go. I turned around and managed to walk away.

  
The air outside of Eridan's mansion was fucking cold. It stung my cheeks. My hoodie wasn't enough to keep me warm, but at least my hands were comfortable in the hoodie's pocket. My jeans seemed to be a mere thin sheet of paper against the cold wind and my converses weren't the coziest thing. The car was at the bottom of the hill because holy shit how many people did Eridan invite. It's like a fucking army of cars out here with mine safely hidden in the back. This shit beats the difficulty of finding a parking space in Wal-Mart at Friday nights easily.

  
"Well that was intense." Someone says behind me. I turn around worried for a second someone was trying to rob me or some shit like that... but it was just a blonde haired boy.

  
"Yeah..." I hesitantly replied turning back around hoping to reach my car sooner rather than later.

  
"Are you okay?" Those words... they were awfully familiar.

  
"Holy shit it's you." I stopped walking.

  
"What?" The boy asked innocently. I looked back around and looked at him closer. He had orange eyes and a smirk that didn't seem to want to leave any time soon.

  
"Never mind. What do you want?" I say shivering a bit more, eagerly waiting for him to leave me alone so I could wait in the car.

  
"Nothing really I guess. The party was a bit too much so I decided to come out and here you are, a fellow party abandoner ready to get the hell out of here."

  
"Okay... So why are you talking to me instead of "getting the hell out of here"?" I raise a brow.

  
"Talking's more fun than walking around in the cold." He shrugged."Anyways, I've been meaning to talk to you after uh... behind the tree." I was glad it was really dark outside because holy shit I felt myself blush.

"Look, that wasn't really anything you should worry about. Thanks for the sentiments but... no thanks." I continued my trek to my car. He followed.

  
"Yeah whatever. I actually just wanted to talk. You seemed like an interesting guy." Another brow was raised, and the boy shrugged. "Never hurts to make new friends."

  
"You do realize I'm a troll, you're a human... right?"

  
"Do you honestly live by the "separate but equal" bullshit?" I felt my lips curl into a small smile.

  
"Not really. It's pretty stupid."

  
"Yeah." He nodded his head. The fucker was only wearing a shirt, how the hell was he not cold? "Anyways, the name's Dave." He held out his hand.

"Karkat." I took it, hesitantly.

  
"Want to go out for coffee or something?"

  
"Not really. I hate the stuff."

  
"Tea?"

  
"Gross."

"Coke?"

  
"You're not taking no for an answer are you?" I sighed finally reaching my car.

  
"Hot cocoa?"

  
"Fine."

  
"Awesome. Starbucks sells really crappy hot cocoa."

  
"Sounds good to me."

  
"My car or yours?"

  
"Does it matter?"

  
"Nope."

  
"Good." I say opening the door. I quickly text Sollux explaining my dilemma with Dave and the idiot replied with a simple "k".

  
"So let me get this straight, you have never seen Love Never Dies?" I ask taking a sip from my drink.

  
"You mean Phantom of the Opera 2? Can't say that I have." He shrugs. "Ever seen Lost in Space?"

  
"No, I haven't." He takes a sip. "Little Women?"

  
"Nope. 12 Angry Men?"

  
"Never heard of it." I shook my head. "City of Angels?"

  
"No. I think we both know what this calls for..."

  
"No... What?" I raise a brow.

  
"A movie marathon." I nearly gagged.

  
"You're joking."

  
"Nope. I'm as serious as Chuck Norris is deadly. We're doing this man. We're making this happen."

  
"Well shit."

  
"No turning back now." I could feel my eyes rolling.

  
The rest of the night was alright. We stayed in that Starbucks for about another hour or so until I had to go pick up Sollux. I picked up Sollux after dropping Dave off by his car.

  
"Hey. How was it?" I said during the drive back.

  
"It was... great actually. I think I got myself a date with her." Sollux seemed really happy... that's good.

  
"Really? Where are you taking her?"

  
"To the movies. I'm taking her to see the new horror movie that just came out." I cringed.

  
"I hope she's as... enthusiastic about that stuff as you are." I hate horror movies.

  
"I think she is." Sollux stayed quiet after that, the moron's probably thinking about what the hell he's going to do during this date of his.

  
Since Sollux was out on a date Saturday, my day was spent cleaning up the house and avoiding my stepdad at all costs. At one point I had to spend an entire hour hidden inside the bathroom... I was not a happy boy.

  
Somehow, I managed to exit the small apartment. Somehow being: I dashed to the door after my hour of hiding while screaming "I'M GOING OUT BYE." And slamming the door behind me making sure he couldn't catch me because like fucking hell I want to deal with that crabby stepfather.

  
The day was pretty fucking boring. Nothing exciting happened. Then again I spent it doing homework in the community (not the abandoned) park. That is until a light flashing red and blue caught my eye followed by an eerie siren. I quickly packed my belongings and went to investigate the cause of such disturbance in this quiet park.

  
After a few minutes of walking I noticed a crowd circling around something. I did not know what.

  
I went closer and closer still. My nerves tensed and my body begged me to turn around and leave... But curiosity is tempting. I hope I don't become a cat.  
A nauseating smell was soon filling the air as I made my way into the circle.

  
"It's the third victim this month. Jerry, I don't think we will be able to handle this one." A man dressed in blue said looking at the figure lying on the ground.

  
A motionless figure. A dead person covered in blood, their own blood.

  
I stumble back ungracefully as realization dawns into me… There is a murderer running loose. They could be right around the corner or right behind me. I quickly get up and run back home, queasy at the sight of so much blood.

  
"And then we went to the movies. It turns out she likes horror movies too. Man, I'm telling you she's awesome." The lisped voice enthusiastically says. I focus on what he's saying if only to calm my nerves. Yesterday coming home to dad was troublesome. He first hugged me and then yelled at me and then cried and then screamed and then I don't even know. He's sometimes too much for me to handle... especially when there's a lunatic running around stabbing people. Three dead this month, how many more until he is caught? "Karkat, It was amazing."

  
"I'm glad you had fun." I managed a smile for him. A smile he deserved.

  
The classroom was mostly empty; class would only starts in fifteen minutes after all.

  
"Yeah. How about you? How was your weekend spent? Meet any interesting girls?" He winked. He never winks.

  
"No." I say flatly. "Unless you count the mop as a lady. In that case we danced all day long together. Funny thing happened though, for some reason her hair would not leave the floor." Sollux rolled his eyes.

  
"Maybe I can replace that mop." A familiar voice calls from behind me. Sollux stiffens.

  
"Da fuck do you want?" I turn around looking at the source.

  
"Your phone." I raise a brow as he extended a hand. Hesitantly I handed him the phone. He furiously typed something there and then handed it back. "Send me a message when you want that marathon to happen." He said looking at me with his big orange eyes and waving a hand and leaving to join his group of friends.

  
"What was that about?" Sollux asked me, eyebrows raised.

  
"He and I went out for crappy Starbucks hot cocoa while you were in Eridan's party." Sollux stared at me. "We talked about movies and we haven't seen the same movies so he called for a movie marathon." A smile.

  
"Do you have a crush on the human?" I looked at him as though he were crazy. "Guess not." He shrugged.

  
"Why would you think that?" I retort thinking about those golden orange eyes and how peculiar they are yet fitting for Dave.

  
"I don't know. Just wondering is all." Sollux shrugs again.

  
"Alright." I give up trying to understand what he meant. "So do you have another date with her?" Sollux continues talking about Aradia, the fucker's pretty cute with his shimmering eyes and satisfied smile. It was nice seeing him so happy.

  
But while he's enthusiastic and happy, my mind keeps wondering to that crime scene. More specifically, to the blood.

  
At first I thought I was disgusted by the vast amounts of blood, the wretched stench it left, and the gruesome ways of it's display. I was right. But there was more. I can't quite place it... but amidst all of that blood... I felt... Familiarity.

  
At lunch it was the same old story. The ten jackasses made fun of me and I left the table. At first I only left once in a while, it's become more frequent now. I have a feeling that soon I won't be coming at all.

  
I stood outside of the school. Alone. I was always alone at this time… But it's okay, I don't mind. Sometimes peaceful solitude is better than mind fucking socialization.

  
I think about the blood again. For some reason I can't forget it. I can't wrap my head around it. I can't ignore the unsettling urge to see blood again. I literally can't ignore it. I take out a small paper clip and bend it so that it's tip is pointed away from the rest of it. I press the tip on my finger until I feel a small prick. I'm sure Sollux won't freak out over a paper cut.

  
I watch the blood spill. Something about it is satisfying... Comforting. Shit. I sound like I want to start cutting again.

  
I wipe off the small amount of blood that occupied the tip of my finger and stood up. I'm not going to go back to that habit any time soon especially not after everything Sollux did for me.

  
Instead I text Dave. "Hey Fuckhead. This is my phone number. Want to have the marathon tomorrow?"

  
My phone was the dumbest shit. It's one of those old flip phones with that crappy keyboard that's hell to type with. I didn't really care though. I anxiously waited for a reply.

  
"Sure. want to come over and sit at our table instead of outside? It's pretty cold over here." I jump and turn around.

  
"What the-" the blonde haired boy smirked.

  
"I saw you walk out of the cafeteria. Decided to see what was up. I lost you in one of the hallways though, making me go on a scavenger hunt."

  
I looked at him for a bit feeling my lips curl softly into a small smile. "Idiot."I scoffed getting up. "Fine. I'll grace you with my presence."

  
"Sweet." He smirked again and turned around, beginning to walk back into the building, I followed him.

  
"So what's with the invitation?" I ask a bit curious, walking beside him. He shrugged.

  
"Reasons." I frown at him. "What?"

  
"Can you just answer my gog damned question?"

  
"I will. Just not yet." I frowned more. He is an idiot. A fucking S class idiot.

  
"Hey Dave!" A cheery girl with long brown hair stood up and joyfully chanted when she saw Dave coming. She had a bucktoothed grin, green eyes and the roundest glasses I've ever seen that rested perfectly against her rosy tanned cheeks.

  
"Sup." Dave casually greeted them. I simply face palmed. Did the idiot actually think that was a cool thing to say? Moron.

  
"Dave... who's that?" A black haired boy (also with a bucktoothed grin) asked looking at me with his blue eyes through his rectangular glasses.

  
"I'm Karkat." I mumble already feeling uncomfortable.

  
"Greetings." Says a girl with a monotone and pristine voice. Her purple (?) eyes fixed on a book with a dark and grim cover. "Rose." She finally looked at me, scanning me up and down and making me even more uncomfortable. I am going to kill Dave for dragging me here first chance I get. For now though, I simply stuff my hands in my pockets nervously. Shit, I hated meeting new people.

  
"Hi!" The blue-eyed boy said. "I'm John. It's a pleasure." He extended his hand. I lift mind to shake it... The fucker up and swerved his hand and then proceeded to laugh at my hand that floated mid air. I lowered it again placing it back in my pocket doing my best not to glare spitefully. "Ha-ha! Sorry, I really like pranks."

  
"Dully noted." I grumble (hopefully not) obviously displeased.

  
"John, don't be rude! Karkat, by the way I'm Jade." The cheery girl chippered. "It's nice to meet you."

  
"It wasn't rude! It was funny, right Karkat?"

  
"Sure." I rolled my eyes. "Whatever the fuck you say, John." He giggled again. "What?" I frowned looking at him. "Did I say something funny?"

"No, he just likes laughing like a hyena over the people he pranks. Ignore him, he'll get over himself soon enough." Rose said, her voice slightly less monotone than before. He closed her book and glanced at me once again, examining me a bit more before scooting over allowing more space for both Dave and myself on the round table. I sat with them.

  
"So what's your element?" Jade asked curiously finally sitting down as well. She smiled such a big smile, I was surprised it fit in her delicate face. "Mine is space! I can teleport and shrink stuff or make them bigger! I can do that with people too! Wanna try being short?"

  
"No thanks." I said way too quickly. I was already short enough. She giggled.

  
"Suit yourself! John's element is wind."

  
"Basically I just make really cool wind storms and become the wind! Isn't that really awesome. Oh, and I can FLY!" He said a bit too enthusiastically.

  
"Rose's element is... you know I'm not even sure." Jade looked at Rose who rolled her eyes.

  
"I see the future and the past and the present. My element is sight. More of a concept than an element, which should rank me as a troll mage like yourself, except that with sight I gain a materialistic power that allows me to lift things and explode things. It's interesting. Although I do have to channel my magic through a wand, quite old fashioned if I do say so myself." That was actually fucking interesting.

  
"Yes... That... And Dave's element is body parts!" Jade smiled. I look at Dave slightly confused and somewhat disturbed.

  
"Before you think of anything disturbing... I modify body parts. My element is bodily transformation... for example..." I lifted his hand and it suddenly became a tentacle, and then a scaly hand... and then his normal hand.

  
"Oh, cool." I said.

  
"So what's yours?" Jade asked again. I frowned a bit, glancing quickly at my usual table... They seemed all so normal, almost as if me not being there made them happy.

  
"I don't have one." I looked back at Jade.

  
"I'm sure you're just a late bloomer!" John smiled.

  
"Yeah, maybe."

  
"It's scientifically proven impossible to not have an element Karkat, are you sure you simply haven't received any indications as to what your element is?" Rose questioned. My first thought was of the murder scene. All of that blood... That sickened my stomach. I frowned a bit unconsciously.

  
"I don't know." I looked at the finger I pricked... where was the cut? I blinked.

  
"Is something wrong?" Dave asked examining me.

  
"No. Nothing." I looked back up... I could have sworn I pricked that finger...

  
Class soon started and we were all in our seats. Sollux had entered the classroom with Aradia, her hand in his. They were dating now. Cute.

  
"What was that all about?" He asked.

  
"What was what all about?" I raised a brow.

  
"Well... you kind of ditched our table... again which is understandable considering the douchebags that sit with us... but then you sat at that guy's table." He said a bit defensive. Was Sollux... jealous of my new friendship?

  
"I myself don't really know... but they were nice people... I kind of liked them." I thought for a bit. "Dave kind of just invited me, and I guess I accepted because it was fucking cold outside and I didn't feel like being mocked again." He frowned. "Wanna sleep over?" I decided to change the subject.

  
"It's a school night." I grinned, this was our usual routine.

  
"So?" He grinned right back.

  
"Alright. I'll call my mom." He joked; he did send her a text though.

  
The sleepover was fine... and just like old times. First it was a video game marathon, which I (as always) allowed Sollux to beat me... Because he is not better than me, I simply allow him to think so. After the video games Sollux tried to teach me how to code... Strangely though my computer exploded. I broke a wall to the house and I only freaked out for about an hour before Sollux called Kanaya over, she was always good at calming me down when I went ape shit banana bonkers.

  
"How?" Was her first reaction to seeing the mess we made. "Why?" Was her second.

  
"We were programming." Sollux said. "Well, KK was anyways."

  
"I'm sooo fucking dead. Oh god. I'm dead. I'm going to fucking get killed. Shit. Fuck. Shit." I whispered looking at the wall. "Shiiiiiiiiiiiit!"

  
"How long has he been like this?"

  
"A few minutes or so." Sollux sighed patting my back as I died on my desk. Sollux and me had a few scratches on us, and there are computer bits all around... although the wall took most of the damage.

  
"Go put on a romcom for him to watch, also get some ice cream. A lot of it. And a comfortable blanket." I heard Kanaya tell Sollux, he nodded and went out the room. "Karkat, sweetie, it will all be okay. Do not worry. We will get someone who can fix this for you. Do you know anyone who has this kind of element?" She asked, knowing my only friends were the other eleven assholes... oh wait... I took out my phone.

  
"Dave, fucking save me. My wall exploded. Can anyone fix this shit?" I texted. "I hope so." I muttered. "Or else I'm a goner."

  
"I am sure your stepfather will not murder you Karkat. He loves you, despite his strict personality." She patted my back.

  
"I've never screwed up this bad. I don't know how the fuck he'll react." I cringed thinking of my near future.

  
"ill go ahead and ask rose" Was the text I got back. "she says she might be able to fix your place where do you live" A second text. I sent him my address.

  
"I might be saved."

  
"Oh?" She blinked. "Karkat... did you make new friends?" She smiled softly... almost maternally.

  
"Yes. Is that bad?"

  
"Of course it is not! I am simply excited about this development."

  
"Romcoms are ready." Sollux popped in the room.

  
"Turn them off, I'm not watching jack shit until this is fixed."

  
"This is worse then I thought... Karkat everything will be alright" Sollux left the room again, probably to turn off the tv. I muttered a new round of cuss words that is before my mind wondered off from how dead I will be to the blood on the murdered people. I cringed. "Karkat?" I thought of the blood on their pale shapeless bodies... on the murder weapon... on the murderer. I thought I saw a dog-like face. A katana. Wings. Tentacles... Dave... why did I think of Dave? I imagined his body covered in blood. Was it his? No.. It wasn't. I cringed even more. "Karkat??" He was covered in blood. Was he dead? No. He was alive. He had a sword. He uses a sword. I shivered. "KARKAT?" Blood. Blood. Blood. All I can think about. Blood. Dave. Murder. Blood.

  
Something sharp stung my face. "OW!" I yelled snapping back into reality. "What was that for?" I glared at Kanaya... Her face... it was twisted with worry... Beside her was Sollux, with a similar face. "What?" I look at them like they were going crazy.

  
"Karkat... you started to... You were..." Kanaya couldn't finish her sentence.

  
"You were muttering things KK. Not to mention the blank face you had on... And how you didn't respond to Kanaya's shouts." I looked at him blinking in disbelief. The doorbell rang and we all jumped.

  
"I'll get it." I whispered getting up. I unclenched my hands... When did I clench them? There was a sharp pain... I managed to dig my nails into my skin. I go over to the door and open it. There stood Rose.

  
"Greetings." She looked at me with a mysterious grin. "So... how does one's wall explode? If you do not mind my inquiries?"

  
"Technically my computer was what exploded... causing the timely destruction of my wall and a reason for my own demise via paternal unit." Her smirk widened a bit.

  
"Are you going to let me in?" Her eyebrows raised.

  
"Oh, shit sorry. Yeah come in." I moved aside allowing her entrance. She entered.

  
"Your house is surprisingly clean." She commented.

  
"Karkat, who is this?" Kanaya walked out of my bedroom and came over to the living room (and she used the gigantic exploded hole in the wall to do so), where we were. Sollux followed.

  
"This is Rose. Rose this is Kanaya, behind her is Sollux." I introduced them. "Now that we all know each other, Rose can you fix my wall?" I asked a bit impatiently.

  
"It is nice to meet you Rose." Kanaya ignored my impatience. "Sorry for his behavior, he is simply shaken due to recent events concerning his wall and due to future events concerning his stepfather." Okay, she didn't ignore my impatience.

  
"That's understandable. It's a pleasure." Rose extended her hand and I half expected her to do the same thing John did. Kanaya shook her hand. "I might be able to reconstruct the wall together... it will look roughly the same as before the explosion." Rose looked at me.

  
"How about the computer?" Rose shook her head I sighed. "Alright, well thanks." Rose lifted her wand and pointed it at the wall. Bits and pieces of the wall started to go back to where they used to be... This lasted for a few minutes... When the wall was put back together, the outer edges of each piece started to shine a white light, the lights started to get thinner and thinner until there was no light left and the wall looked whole once more.

  
"I've finished." Rose put her wand away.

  
"Thank you." I said to her.

  
"That ability you possess is quite impressive." Kanaya commented. "Might I, in perhaps a later date, learn of your abilities?" I looked over at Sollux, he was busy gawking at the wall, I did my best not to chuckle.

  
"If you so wish, then sure. Karkat, do you have any paper?" I dropped my smirk and looked over at Rose.

  
"Yes I do, hold on." I brought her some paper, unhappy that I became a fetching dog. I even brought her a pen. "Here." She took the paper from my hand... not the pen. "Do you not like my fucking pen?"

  
"I simply asked for paper." She grinned. "Thank you." I rolled my eyes as she took out her own pen and wrote her phone number in purple ink. She handed the paper to me. "After adding my number, give the paper to Kanaya." Rose said. "Sadly, I must part for I have my own business to attend to. Goodbye." And with that she left.

  
"She seems... nice." Sollux finally spoke. "So that's who you were sitting with during lunch?"

  
"Yeah."

  
Kanaya soon left. Sollux and myself managed to hide the broken computer... Sollux said he'd get Equius to fix it. We soon went to bed and soon it was time to go to school. Thankfully, neither of them questioned me about my little episode... and strangely enough the scratches I got from the computer explosion were gone... Sollux still had his. I started to think for a bit. I've never had a severe injury for long. I always did heal quickly... but never this fast... When we got to school Sollux went over to hang with Aradia and I went outside with nothing but my hoodie. I wanted to go to that little abandoned park but someone touched my shoulder first. I saw blood everywhere. I jumped. There was no blood.

  
"Hey, are you okay Kitkat?" Kitkat? The voice was familiar.

  
"Dave?" I turned around. He was wearing sunglasses. "What's with the sunglasses?" I asked until I saw all of the blood covering him. I froze. I blinked. Again, there was no blood.

  
"I've always worn sunglasses... Are you okay?" He repeated.

  
"I'm... I'm fine." I shivered a bit. "And no you haven't. I've seen your orange eyes without them being covered." He froze. The sunglasses were gone. There were his eyes, looking at me like I've just said something ridiculous. "Where'd they go?" I looked at him confused.

"How'd you know... my eyes were... orange?" He blinked.

  
"Like I said, you don't usually wear sunglasses. In fact they are gone right now." He examined me.

  
"Karkat... I'm wearing sunglasses." I closed my eyes wondering what was with the lying charade. When I opened my eyes surely enough the sunglasses were on again. "Kitkat... How did you know about my eyes?" I turned pale.

  
"I guessed. My head hurts I'm going to class." My head did hurt. I hadn't had this massive a headache ever since I started taking sleeping pills for my insomnia.

  
"Okay..?" He said uncertain.

  
I suddenly remembered something. "Before I go to class... Is your weapon of choice a katana?"

  
"No." I sighed relieved. "I use swords." My eyes widen.

  
"Have... have you ever harmed anyone with them?" He looked at me like I was crazy.

  
"Of course not! I've only ever used them against my sparring partner." I believed him. "Kitkat what's going on?"

  
"Nothing. What's with calling me Kitkat anyways?" Dave hesitated a bit.

  
"I thought it suited you, plus I like the chocolate." He finally said. "Oh, wanna come over my place for the movie marathon?"

  
"Sure."

  
Today I sat at his table again; I didn't even go to my table first. I liked his friends... a bit more than I liked most of my friends. My headache was gone, and I started to forget what Dave looked like without sunglasses... What's more I couldn't remember what it was that I was so worried about. I didn't really understand what the hell was going on... Maybe I was imagining things.

  
Dave lived in an apartment, kind of like me except his was a bit smaller. There were a few puppets with ridiculously long noses scattered around... And there were also a few ninja weapons scattered around too.

  
"What the fuck's with all of this... stuff?" I asked looking around.

  
"Bro's a bit messy. He's out right now with his boyfriend so don't worry about sneak attacks." My eyes widened.

  
"Sneak attacks?"

  
"You don't know about my bro do you? He goes to our school, but he's in a different classroom. His name is Dirk. Does that ring a bell?"

  
"No."

  
"He's my sparring partner, and we often do sneak attacks on each other. Family tradition." He shrugged. "Anyways, about the movies. Did you bring any with you?"

  
"Shit. I fucking forgot." I sighed.

"How does this sound: today we play all of your movies, we meet again next time for my masterpieces." Dave raised a brow.

  
"Masterpieces? Aren't we a bit cocky today?"

  
"It's not cocky if it's true." Dave grinned. He looked so distant with those shades. I try to invoke the memory of him without them... but strangely I can't.

  
"Alright. We'll do that then. Hop on the couch I already have an idea as to what I want to play." I get on the couch and Dave pops on a disk. I patiently wait for the movie to appear.

  
"Megamind. Really?" I raised a brow.

  
"It's pretty Ironic." He grinned sitting on the couch beside me.

  
"Just hit play already." I rolled my eyes.

  
The movie was much, much better than I expected it to be. First of all, there was a huge love triangle (I might have cried a bit when Megamind was rejected), secondly, the characters were pretty funny and lastly the plot was great. Although I cried towards the end a bit, earning a back pat from Dave (which made me a bit too embarrassed).

  
The second movie played was Star Wars, Dave claimed that it was one of the most Ironic movie series out there (we watched episodes 4, 5 and 6). I also cried like a baby through that somehow earning me another back pat... except this time Dave's arm stayed on my back, or rather, draped over it.

  
Then, much to my dismay, Dave played Human Centipede. I didn't protest since I didn't want to seem like a fucking wimp... But at the very beginning I already started to be jumpy and scared... To the point where Dave paused the movie (after ten fucking minutes) and put on another one.

  
"I hate the movie. I thought 'hey, why not?' but I just can't stand it. Sorry to disappoint." That was his excuse. Fucking liar. Although I'm glad he was nice enough to change it.

  
We watched a few more movies before it was time to go home. I didn't really want to go home... it was comfortable being under Dave's arm. I was at the door now. It was pretty fucking cold.

  
"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you home? It's pretty fucking dark out there... Not to mention you can't really defend yourself..." He was worried?

  
"I guess I'm sure. I don't mind walking alone... It's the cold that's going to bother me." I replied.

  
"Fuck it. I'm walking you home anyways. Stay here." I blinked and he left. Within a minute he came back, he was holding a hoodie on his right hand... He tossed it to me. I caught it wondering why he did that. Then it hit me. The hoodie was for me.

"Aren't you going to get cold?"

  
"Nah. Don't worry about me Kitkat."

  
"Alright." I put on his hoodie. It smelled nice... Kind of like apple juice and cologne. A nice mix. "Thanks."

  
The hoodie was a bit oversized since Dave was bigger than me. The sleeves went past my arm length, the jacket reached my thighs and it was comfortably loose. It was black with a red colored silhouette of spray cans in the center. It was actually pretty cool.

  
The walk home was far too short. In my personal opinion it needed to be longer. We're at my door now. Dad, thankfully, wasn't home yet. It was about nine in the afternoon and thank fucking gog my eyes weren't the size of the moon because I'm pretty fucking sure that no living creature could sustain ridiculously big eyes like that.

  
My heart was pounding a bit though, mainly because of the fact that all of the romcoms I've ever watched had a scene like this and usually the two characters kissed. Not that I wanted to kiss Dave or anything. Fuck no.

  
"Do you want to come inside?" I asked holding the door open.

  
"No. It's cool don't worry about it. I have to get home before Dirk does. I don't want to be sneak attacked right now." I couldn't help but smile a little at that.

  
"You should smile more often." I blinked not expecting that at all. "Just food for thought."

  
"You want food?" I raised an eyebrow. He stared at me for a bit and then smirked.

  
"You've never heard of that expression before?" I shook my head. "Well basically it means you owe me dinner now since I graced you with my thoughts. And it has to be home made too. Or something real classy. Whichever suits me best in your opinion. Oh and it can't be any of that precooked shit either."

  
"Fucking shit." His face was dead serious. "Fine. Just don't expect me to do it anytime soon."

  
"Alright." Great. Now I have to cook something for him. Fan-fucking-tastic. "I do have to go though. So bye Kitkat."

  
"Do you want your hoodie back?" I hoped he'd say no. It was far too comfortable for me to take off.

  
"Nah it's cool. I'll get it back when I come over. See ya." And with that he started to walk away.

  
"Bye moron." I mumbled watching him go.

  
The next few days were kind of a repetition of what happened before. I stopped sitting with my troll friends altogether. I only saw most of them in class, and Ms. Aranea would murder us if we talked too much. I spent my evenings with either Dave (and sometimes his group of friends), Sollux and sometimes Kanaya (she sometimes came over for romcoms). Kanaya started sitting at Dave's table too, more precisely between Rose and myself. Once though, Rose sat at my table with Kanaya. The trolls were crushed by their combined super knowledge. (On a side note, the smartest kids in class were Kanaya, Rose and myself. My reason for being one of the top three is simple: my brains make up for my lack of magic). Dave and I started getting closer and closer. He even started to sleep over. He did find out about my drinking problem though, via bipolar connections. He didn't really approve of it but said nothing on the topic much to my appreciation.

  
Soon I got to meet Dirk and his group of friends. Dirk was a lot like Dave, but so different. They were both sarcastic douchebags that rapped and revolved around irony, but Dirk seemed a bit more rigid with his stoic facade and a bit more sensible. He had similar golden hair but styled completely different. The two looked a lot alike... His eyes were orange I think. I thought I saw a glimpse of them. Jake was almost as enthusiastic and cheery as Jade, it's surprising they aren't related. He's apparently Dirk's sweetheart. He had black hair and green eyes. His smile was almost contagious, but not entirely. He also wore rectangular glasses similar to John's... In fact they look an awful lot alike. Jane is this smart girl who seemed far too good at detecting things. She had blue eyes that were covered with oval glasses. She had really short jet black hair. Roxy was Rose's twin. They looked exactly the same except for her pinker eyes and different styled hair.

  
I got along with all of them surprisingly. Roxy and John seemed to be dating although I'm not sure. Jane seemed to like Jake... I honestly don't want to take part in their romantic triangle because holy fuck that shit's probably going to be a huge mind and heart fuckery moment. Dirk and his group of friends started to sit at our table which is how I found out about Roxy's alcoholism and how Dave started speculating about mine before asking Captor. She and I became drinking buddies.

  
My previous friends noticed my absence surprisingly.

  
"Where the motherfuck have you been?" Gamzee glared with gritted teeth.

  
"I've been around. Why?" I raised a brow.

  
"I want you to sit at our table again. Or. Else." He ordered.

  
"No." I felt his big hands wrap themselves against my throat.

  
"What did you say motherfucker?" I couldn't breathe. My hands clutched his trying to pry them away.

  
"Are... you... deaf or... just dumb?" I wheezed. His grip tightened. I started to see black hazy spots in my vision. Just fucking great.

  
"I'll ask you one more time nully." We were outside. This was after school, I was walking home when Gamzee suddenly showed up with one of his rage fits. Gog this shit sucks. There wasn't anybody here that could see him do this let alone stop him. "What. Did. You. Say?" I was pissed.

  
With the last of my strength I kicked him. Hard. His hands loosened up a bit allowing me to fall to the ground. "Don't make me repeat myself." I said through coughs glad I could finally breathe again. I got up and ran the living hell out of there.

  
I was safe. For now.

  
"Are you drunk?" I was caught. Dave was in the bar glaring at me like I did something I wasn't supposed to. Who told him that I bought booze here? Fucking Sollux. I bet it was him.

  
"Fuck no. Maybe. Just a little. I'm fine." I took another sip from my mug of beer. It tasted fowl and bitter.

  
"I'm taking you home moron." He didn't give me time to reject. He grabbed my arm and pulled me out of there.

  
"But..."

  
"No." His face was stone cold.

  
"Are you mad?" I looked at him with wide eyes.

  
"Fuming." He didn't even look at me. He didn't fucking look at me. I started to cry. I don't know why. It was probably the alcohol but still... so uncool. Yet somehow my tear outburst alarmed him. "Shit. Dude don't cry."

  
"Fuck off." I made a half assed attempt at yanking my arm away from him. It failed.

  
"Karkat..." He started.

  
"Leave me alone." Wow. I acted like a fucking wimp.

  
"Calm down already." He pulled me in to a casual bro hug. It was most definitely only a bro hug. Nothing. Fucking. More.

  
I start to cry again. "What's wrong?" I keep quiet. "Kitkat..."

  
"You're mad at me. And now you're going to fucking hate me like everyone else. And then you're going to start calling me nully and... And... I don't want you to hate me!!" More tears.

  
"I don't hate you. Karkat who is calling you names?" I stayed quiet. "Karkat...? Sollux told me you drink so much because of some shit that happens that I clearly don't know about. Is that true?" I nod silently. "I was mad at you because you aren't making things easier for yourself. Sollux was worried sick about you. He said you bailed on him and you've never done that... Why? What could be so bad as to make you ditch him?" I stayed quiet.

  
Dave sighed and proceeded to take me home. Sollux was there. I didn't want to talk to either of them but that wasn't needed. In the dark environment outside and in the bar Dave didn't notice but in the light of my home it was crystal clear.

  
"Who?" Sollux ordered more than asked. He was looking at the lively purple blue bruises on my neck. I stayed quiet. Didn't want to relive the moment. Sollux fumed. "Karkat. Who did this to you?"

  
"Gamzee." I whispered. Dave turned stiff the moment he laid eyes on my neck. He didn't like what he saw. Sollux closed his eyes and pressed his hands on his forehead. He had a headache.

  
"I'm going to kill him." Kill? Blood. There will be blood. Blood on bodies. Blood on friends.

  
"Karkat?" A sharp pain shot through my chest... Like something had stabbed me. I look down slowly expecting to see blood. But nothing. I looked at Sollux with dazed eyes.

  
"Huh?" I saw worry on his expression. I felt sick. I puked. Sollux facepalmed.

  
After leading me to the shower I don't know what they did but the floor was clean.

  
Sollux told me to go to bed. So I did.

  
Waking up I saw a face right next to mine. My eyes widened but I didn't scream. It was Dave's. He was ridiculously close. Dave was probably there because Sollux took the top bunk as usual... But why were they here? I remember them coming? I had a headache. What did I even fucking do last night?

  
I sighed and closed my eyes. Whatever. I cared more about sleep than why Dave was here.

  
"Psst. Kitkat. You awake?" My eyes fluttered open. Dave's eyes were closed.

  
"Yeah... You?" I whispered back.

  
"Yep."

  
"Then open your eyes fuckwad." He snickered?

  
"I rather not. Don't want to ruin the mystery behind the shades." I flicked his nose. "Ow!" He somehow still whispered. "What was that for?"

  
"You could have stopped me if your eyes were opened." I state. He smirks.

  
"Fine. You win. But only because you've already seen them before." I blinked confused.

  
"I have?" his eyes opened. They were a beautiful tone of orange. I tried not to gawk. It was hard.

  
"Yeah. You told me the color of my eyes and asked me about my sunglasses." I blinked again. "You don't remember?" I remembered trying to picture Dave without his shades just like when I first met Sollux and imagined him without his blue and red shades... But I never knew the color of Dave's eyes.

  
"No." I said honestly. "But I do like the color of your eyes."

  
"Thanks." Was it me... or was he blushing? "You know, when I was a kid, people used to call me and my brother a freak because we had orange eyes... Rose and Roxy too because of their eyes..."

  
"I get it."

  
"I know. You're eyes aren't exactly a natural color either." One of his hands moved over to my exposed cheek (the other was being pressed on the pillow)... I didn't really mind it being there, his thumb rubbed the area around my eye. "Still pretty attractive though." This is one of those moments where I am fucking thankful to have a tanned skin color... If I was any shade paler I would be redder than a fucking apple.

  
"Th-thanks." I tried desperately to sound less flustered than I was. Judging by Dave's cocky grin I failed. His grin faded and his gaze moved to just bellow my chin. "What?" Memories of yesterday flashed through my head. "Oh." His hand moved from my cheek to the tip of the covers, he pulled them down a bit in order to inspect my bruised neck. His eyes widened. "What??"

  
"Your bruises... they are nearly gone." I stared at him for a moment.

  
"That's not possible. That is literally not possible. Unless... Gamzee must have used his miracle magic or something to cover up his tracks." I hypothesized.

  
"No... Karkat... He couldn't have done that... He'd have to be close to you to do so." He was right. "Karkat... Do you think maybe... you did this?"

  
"I don't have any magic Dave. Nullmage. Remember?" I sighed shivering a bit from the lack of covers. Dave pulled them back up. I hated cold December mornings. I wished I still had Dave's hoodie. It was really comfortable to sleep with, and I never had to worry about the cold... I only wore it to bed because it was warm. No other fucking reasons. None. At. Fucking. All.

  
"Yeah, maybe it was Gamzee after all." Dave seemed hesitant to believe that.

  
"Hey dumb and dumber. Haul your asses off of the bed. Or else you're going to be late to school." Sollux said getting out of the top bunk. Dave closed his eyes much to my dismay.

  
"How long have you been awake dumbest?" I asked.

  
"Since your hushed conversation started." He mumbled looking at us and he raised a brow and mouthed "Did he hit on you?" I smirked.

  
"No." I mouthed back remembering Dave's comment on my eyes.

  
"Liar." Was his mouthed response. "Alright well I'm going to get dressed." He said opening my drawer.

  
"Fuck." Dave muttered.

  
"What?"

  
"I forgot to pick up some clothes from my place. Also, can you get my shades?" I forced myself off of bed. Gog I had a huge headache. Probably from all of that beer. I got Dave's shades and put them on.

  
"They are really dark." I commented before taking them off and handing them to Dave. "And I have some baggy clothes, you can use those."

  
"Thanks." He got up.

  
The three of us got dressed with relative ease. I didn't even bother brushing my messy hair, especially after Dave took an eternity with his. And here I thought Sollux wasted a ridiculously long time on his short hair.

  
Sollux noticed my less bruised neck but didn't comment on it despite his initial surprise. I for one was glad he didn't question it.

  
We got to school with relative ease... And school itself was fine... Although I did notice one thing though... Throughout the whole entire school day, either Sollux or Dave spent the entire time by my side. I was in the fucking high school witness protection service wasn't I? Fucking shit. Even at my walk home I had Dave as an escort... Not that I minded much.

  
"Hey dweeb..." I said thinking.

  
"Yeah?" He looked at me as we walked.

  
"Can we go someplace... before we go to my flat?" I asked with my eyes looking down and my hands stuffed in my pocket. "I don't really want to go home right now." I didn't look at him, I was mostly busy in thought.

  
"Like a date or something?" I didn't really pay attention to what he said. And I'm almost positive he also knew that.

  
"Yeah." And after a few seconds I realized what he just said. My face grew red and I looked at him. He was smirking. The fucking douchebag took advantage of my focused mind.

  
"Why Karkat! I never knew you felt that way about me!" He said with an obnoxiously high pitched noise. "I don't know what to say!" He was trying to be funny. I could tell. Playful teasing. Fuck.

  
"Very funny. You can almost hear my laughter inside your own head. Shhh. Listen. Hee. Hee. Hoo. Hoo. Haa. Haa. Did you hear that? That was me. Laughing." He chuckled.

  
"So where do you want to go Kitty?" I stop walking and just stare at him. "Something wrong Kitkat?" I open my mouth to answer but close it and keep walking.

  
"No. I'm fine. Changed my mind though. I'll just go home. See you later Davey." I keep walking in (maybe) solitude. I'm not sure. My heart is beating fast. He called me Kitty... Of all things... Why that? It was far too... I don't even know. And did I call him Davey? Wow. Okay. Life == over.

  
We were at lunch now. Rose had a smile in her face and Kanaya was a bit gloomy.

  
"I've joined a club hosted by Vice Principal Peixes." Rose announced. "Jade, Jane, the two of you should join me. It's called the grimoire club. Quite interesting if I do say so myself. I think you'd enjoy it. Kanaya has rejected my offer so she won't be with us I'm afraid."

  
"This could be fun!" Jade cheered. "I'm in!"

  
"Jane?" Rose smiled.

  
"I don't know..." Jane hesitated.

  
"It's alright Janey! We can be the three musketeers!!" Jane cracked a smile at Jade.

  
"Alright, I'll join." It was only the girls and myself at the table. Sollux was with Aradia and the guys were too sparring... Well Dirk and Dave were... John and Jake were just watching. I didn't want to watch so I just stayed here. Despite my slight discomfort, this was nothing compared to the constant mockery from my previous table.  
"Have you guys seen the news lately?" I asked not paying attention to what I said.

  
"What about?" Jade asked.

  
"The murders."

  
"Oh yes. The murderer is quite clever. They say he's a famous gang member from the infamously known Midnight Crew." Rose commented.

  
"I do believe he will prove a hard catch for the police." Kanaya added.

  
"Yeah. Twelve murders so far right?"

  
"Yep. I've been trying to solve the case for his identity but with my current resources I have had no luck at all!" Clever Jane said. I was just waiting for her to shout "jinkeys!" one day.

  
"I think... He might share the same element as Dave." Rose looked at me.

  
"Are you insinuating something Karkat?" There was a threat in her voice.

  
"Yes. I'm insinuating the killer has the same element as Dave, however he is not Dave." Rose nodded accepting my words.

  
"What makes you think that?" Jane raised a brow.

  
"Well he has a dog head, wings and tentacles. I'm pretty sure earthlings aren't born this way. Not to mention he has a sword sticking out of his stomach. He must have transmuted his stomach with that sword or something." I look at my hands. I don't know how I know this but... I just do.

  
"Karkat... Where did you get this information?" Kanaya asked me. I looked at her. She seemed worried.

  
"I... Made it up. Forget what I said. Bye." I got up and left. I started to feel sick again.

  
I was one of the top three students in my class, Ms. Serket favored me because of that. So when I told her I needed to leave early she didn't hesitate to give me an excused absence.

  
I was at the abandoned park now. I sat on the tire swing. I did some research and found out that this park used to be part of a school but the building was destroyed by a plant element user who accidentally grew a forest in this section of out city. Nobody really remembers because it happened so long ago, and the trees can't be cut because the magic is too strong.

  
I actually wanted to look for the school. And so, I did. I walked through the trees. In a straight path, the opposite direction from home. I kept on walking and walking. In fact I walked for two hours. By now school was ending. I sighed and turned around. I'd have to satisfy my curiosity elsewhere in time.  
Something, however, caught my attention. It was very shiny. It was a piece of broken glass. I picked it up. The school had to be close. I cut my thumb and mark a tree with my blood just to make sure I know where I've been (at least this way the trees won't suffer). And in that manner I keep on exploring until I find ruins of an old school. One that was torn down by trees.

  
"Hello?" I shouted wondering if anyone was here before me. There was no response. My heart started to pound and I entered the building. I walked around. Some walls were still left standing. There were school materials everywhere lying uselessly with dust.  
I checked my phone to see if anyone had messaged me. Nobody. I didn't have signal. It might be best if I left and came back another day. i started to make my way out of the building before something pulled me back. I turned around and there was nobody.

  
"Hello?" I shouted again.

  
"Don't leave." I blinked. Then I saw something I never expected to see. It was a fairy.

  
Fairies were small creatures with wings, they used to be all trolls, just like pixies (who had no wings but could also fly) used to be humans. They still look exactly the same as they did when they were trolls or humans, what changes is their size, clothes, strength and whether they have wings and horns or not. I always thought them to be myth.

  
The story is:

  
If you die upon the sacred land,  
above the bed of life,  
your whole becomes eternal and grand,  
until a just heroic loss in strife.

  
"Who are you??" I blink.

  
"Kankri. It's a pleasure." He sits on my shoulder.

  
"Karkat." I say. "Are there more of you?" I asked.

  
"Yes. However they are not comfortable talking to somebody new. It triggers them. My guess is that due to the solitude we've had for nearly a century they've grown used to being alone. And an outsider here ruins the peace. Trigger warnings. Because you have come from the outside, much like Francisco Pizzaro, we found it unsettling, much like the Incas. Unlike the Incas, we are not hostile... Mostly. Some of us are, most of us are not. Returning to my point, there are in fact more of us however you seem to pose a threat over our peaceful solitude."

  
"Then I'll leave." I started to walk out again.

  
"Halt! We do not know whether you will expose our secret sanctuary. Your psyc-"

  
"I pinky promise I won't. I have my own sanctuary nearby and I rather not risk other people finding out about that just because you guys exist." I kept moving. "You're not that great of a revelation."

  
"Karkat, that was quite rude of you. I'll have you know that trigger warnings should be used when you start speaking in such a harsh tone. It's unacceptable that you ignore these warnings. One day some one will be very offended by you and you will have an enemy. When that day comes you will remember this chat we've had about trigger warnings. I hope you apologize to this future enemy of yours in an orderly fashion."

  
"Whatever."

  
"Yo kid. Wait up!" A second voice called over.  "Take me with you." She joined Kankri on my shoulder.  
"No. You'll only bother me."

  
"TRIGGER WARNINGS!!!" Kankri shouted.

  
"I promise you won't even know that I'm there! Literally! Since I'm a Knight of Mind I'll just guard your memories... From yourself." She snuck into my backpack.

  
"Hey what are... Huh?" I forgot what just happened. "Anyways Kankri, get off my shoulder." I huffed.

  
"Can you come back tomorrow? I want to talk to you." I sighed. "Please! You'll get to meet the others."

  
"Fine." I grudgingly accepted.

  
It took about three hours to get home. Once my phone got signal it started buzzing nonstop. Sollux was worried. Dave was worried. Two people were worried.  
"Where have you been?" Kankri wanted things to remain a secret.

  
"I was at the park. I felt sick and the public park makes me feel better." I lied. Dave looked at me up and down. "What?"

  
"You look like you've been hiking in the forest or something."

  
"I fell in a bush. Can I please go in my house now?" He smiled and moved away, unblocking the path to my door.

  
"Sollux is pissed by the way." I looked at him.

  
"Why?"

  
"Because you didn't go talk to him and you weren't at the bar. Also, you wouldn't pick up your phone."

  
"Fuck you two, it was off and I wasn't feeling fine."

  
"Kanaya said you acted weird today. What's up?" I sighed remembering the images in my head.

  
"I don't want to talk about it okay?" He didn't say anything. Instead he pulled me in a hug.

  
"I'm worried about you Karkat. Something bad could have happened and... I wouldn't have been able to protect you." I blushed.

  
"Idiot!!! I'm fine okay???" I mumbled flustered. Dave's hug only tightened.

  
"I don't believe you. But... I'll play along for now." He finally let me go, midway though he kissed my forehead. HE FUCKING KISSED MY FOREHEAD!!! "Bye Kitkat. I'll see you tomorrow."

  
Dad wasn't home. Thank gog for that. Honestly I didn't want to deal with him right now. I dumped my bag in my room and laid on my bed. I sent Sollux a quick message and closed my tired eyes.

  
I woke up and there was a fairy staring at me. I screamed. "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM???"

  
"Good afternoon to you too grumpy. Hi! I'm Latula." She smiled.

  
"Why the fuck are you here?" It took effort not to swing my hand at her and send her flying.

  
"I wanted to see if you'd sell us out. But you didn't so we're cool. By the way, what was your name again." She flew around the room.

"Karkat." My gaze never left her.

  
"Well Karkat, I can tell we are going to be friends. How rad is that?"

  
"How can you tell?" I decided to humor her.

  
"Well for one you didn't sell us out. Two, you play video games. That's all I need to know."

  
"... How did you..."

  
"Oh, I saw the game console. It must be a new version or something. The last time I played they used to be bigger and bulkier." She explained.

  
"Latula... How old are you exactly?"

  
"Well... I died and was reborn when I was sixteen, that's thanks to my friend, Meenah. She lives with us at the school. Anyways, Meenah found out that some tragic thing was going to happen and she kinda killed us all. Of course she did that in the school with a shit ton of trees which I guess turned us all into fairies and pixies and what nots. Apparently the bed of life is trees and junk. Or maybe the school was on top of the bed of life. I dunno. I'm not interested in that junk." I blinked.

  
"To you... What year is it?" I asked.

  
"Oh uh... 2009. Why?" The year today was 2159. Damn. This chick is ancient as fuck.

  
"No reason I'm just curious. So, you said it's been a while since you played video games... Want to have a go at it?"

  
"See? I knew I liked you for a reason grumps. What games do you have?"

  
Latula kept playing video games as I attempted to do my homework (of course my thoughts kept wondering off to Dave and him kissing my forehead). At some point when I finished I started playing against Latula, she was pretty good. She fucking beat my ass and handed it to me in a silver platter. Fucking addict.

  
"So who's this Meenah person that killed you?" I asked as she sent my character, Ike, flying with hers, Olimar. Who the fuck even plays with that useless douchebag?

"A story for later." Was her response.

  
The next morning, Latula somehow convinced me to take her to school with me. Apparently she's now my "good luck charm" or something. What even?

  
"Hey KK, why the fuck were you not picking up your phone?" Sollux glared at me when he found me on my way to school.

  
"It was off. I didn't get anything until later." I tried explaining myself. "I'm sorry I worried you..."

  
"Worried me? I went ape shit bananas looking for you. I'm sitting at my table and Kanaya comes over. 'Is Karkat feeling well?' she asks. I would like to know that myself."  
"I'm fine. I wasn't yesterday. But I am today. I was feeling sick and I needed a nap." This is the first time I've lied to Sollux. Gog damned fairies and their stupid forest land. Fuck it I'm ratting to Sollux first chance I get... Okay... If something major comes up relating to them.

 

"Are you positive it's nothing I need to worry about?" I hesitated.

  
"You know those episodes I've been having sometimes? Where I mutter words and crap?" He nods. "I keep seeing things. And yesterday I let it get to my head. But I'm fine now." At least now most of the truth was out. Fuck was I feeling guilt for lying? I need a life.

  
"Why... Didn't you come to me?" He seemed hurt. Fuck. Emotions suck.

  
"I didn't want to pester you with my hyperactive imagination that's probably caused by my insomnia. It just seems so unimportant compared to what you have going on in your life. Plus, I rather hear about you and Aradia rather than about Jack."

  
"Who's Jack?" He asks. Who is Jack? Why did I call out his name? Jack. Jack. Where did I get that from? Jack Noir. Blood. Death. That's what it means. The name...

  
"He's the murderer." I manage to say.

  
"Snap out of it you're starting on an episode." His words seemed far away yet loud and clear. I obeyed. My mind eased up and the images left my head. No more.  
Dave looked down at me, I was at my desk now looking up at the standing figure. "Want to hang later today?" The boy who kissed my forehead asked. I was about to reply "yes" but I remembered Latula.

"I can't today but I'll be free tomorrow."

  
"What do you have today?" Sollux raised a brow beside me. Normally I'd say yes to Dave in a heartbeat.

  
"I'm going to meet up with some... Friends... I made." I couldn't really tell him what they were... That would go against their wishes.

  
"Mind if I meet them?" Stupid Sollux and his overprotective nature.

  
"Kind of. They are ridiculously shy. In fact they probably won't want to see me after today. I bumped into them once and they gave me something I have to return. That's why I'm going."

  
"Fair enough. Just come back around eight. I have something for you."

  
"And so he was like fuuuuuuck and I beat his ass in the game. How rad is that?" Latula smiles telling her tale of the one night she spent with me. "Say, that Sollux guy is kinda cute. He's your best frond right?" I nodded.

  
"Sollux? That is an interesting name." A girl with a weird spiral tattoo that covered her body commented.

  
"Yeah, he's my best friend."

  
"And Dave is. Your boyfriend?" I gagged.

  
"No! We're just friends." Latula shrugged.

  
"Whatever you say."

  
"So this is the troll from outside the forest? He looks kind of short don't you think?" Another girl popped up.

  
"Well fucking hello to you too dipshit."

  
Latula wore red glasses that covered her bright blue eyes; she had jet black hair and black lipstick that suited her well. She had long pointy horns and bright colored wings. The girl with the spiral tattoo had pale skin that contrasted with the blackness of her tattoos and long hair. One horn was curves inward and the other kind of hooked outward. She had beautiful green eyes. She also wore black lipstick. This rude girl had pointy long horns that hooked inward. Her blond hair was braided into piggy tails. She wore glasses that covered her purple-ish eyes. Kankri kind of looked like me but without the buzz cut and the dyed hair, not to mention his hair was naturally brown while mine was white. He did have red eyes too. He had small nubby horns that were barely noticeable compared to the others.

  
"Look who has spite." The rude girl grinned. "My name is Meenah that's Porrim. You're Karkat right?"

  
"Yeah. That's my name."

  
"Take me next."

  
"Fuck no." I said without hesitation. She frowned clearly not happy with the answer.

  
"Come on. I want to see the outside world!" She smiled again almost convincing me. Almost.

  
"I'm not going to keep on playing taxi. That's not fucking happening."

  
"You're coming back tomorrow right?" Latula asked. "So what's wrong with taking someone. Or were you serious when you said I was just an item you needed to deliver?"

  
"I thought you only wanted to see whether I'd rat you out or not. Regardless I have plans tomorrow."

  
"With Davey?" She grinned. I flicked her off. "So not cool man."

  
"So will you take me or not?" I sighed.

  
"So this is what the outside world looks like?" Meenah smiled clearly not caring if anyone saw her or not.

  
"Yeah. Would you please get back in the bag?" I grumbled wondering why the motherfuck I agreed to this. Meenah said she could find her way home from the abandoned park... And this creep named Cronus volunteered to pick her up there so she wouldn't be alone meaning I could easily drop her off before school so I guess that could be why.

  
"Shell no. I like seaing what's outside. No worries though, I casted a spell so that only you could see me."

"Two things. One, did you just make fish puns? Two, so I look like I'm talking to myself?"

  
"Yes and yes." She smiled sitting on my shoulder.

  
"Fuck." I sighed. "Whatever. I don't care."

  
"Don't worry. Only my physical self can't be seen. I can still be heard so if somebody comes close enough they'll think they're crazy." I rolled my eyes.

  
It was around seven, one hour before Sollux would come over. “So, I heard Latula officially nicknamed you grumpy, are you seriously that grumpy?” Meenah grinned.

  
“Fuck you and your fairy friends.” I raised my middle finger at her.

  
“I sea she was right.” Meenah laughed, I only rolled my eyes. “Anyways, what do you have to eat? I’m starved.”

  
“I’ll make some mac n cheese.” I sighed and went over to the kitchen. A few minutes later and I had a nice hot bowl filled with mac n cheese. I put the bowl on the table and sat down laying my head on my arms tiredly.

  
“I can’t eat all of that. I’m not as big as you are.” Meenah said picking up a piece of macaroni and taking a bite off of it.

  
“I’ll eat what you don’t.”

  
“So what’s with the empty house? When I was still a troll mage, my place was always filled with people.” Meenah interrupted my attempt of sleeping.

  
“My stepdad works late. My friend is coming over though.” I explained as broadly as possible, I did not want to chat.

  
“Does anyone else live here?” I feel a small weight on my shoulder. Did she seriously start using my shoulder as a fucking chair?

  
“No.”

  
“That’s kinda sad don’t you think?”

 

“No. I like the quiet environment.” There was a bit of silence.

  
“What’s your element?”

  
“I don’t have magic.” More silence. “What?”

  
“Just thinking. Don’t mind me.” And so I didn’t. We stayed in silence until the door opened and Sollux came barging in.

  
“Hey KK. How was the trip to your newfound friends place?” He asked holding a huge box.

  
“Fun.” I sat up straight rubbing my tired eyes.

  
“KK please hold back your excitement! Honestly you’re driving me nuts with your energetic rants.” I rolled my eyes. “Anyways I brought you something.” And he actually did. The fucker came in (using the keys I gave him for emergency use even though he uses them on a daily basis) with a box.

  
“What is it?” I said getting up. Meenah sat down on my shoulder.

  
“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you now would it?” He grinned setting the box down on the table by my basically full bowl. I looked at the box. “You can open it now. Or tomorrow. Whatever time you want.” I pry the box open revealing a non exploded computer. “I managed to convince Equius to fix it. He used some of his old robot parts too, and please expect horse dongers and weird milk sweat ads in the drive okay?” I looked at the computer and then at Sollux.

  
“Fucking marry me you beautiful bastard.” I smiled taking out the computer.

  
“Sorry I’m taken but thanks for the compliment.” He grinned. “I’ll help you install it. Mind if I stay the night?”

  
“Ha! As if you need to ask.”

  
The morning came far too quickly. Sollux basically reinstalled my computer and (hopefully) successfully took away all of the horse porn and milk sweat. We watched random comedy movies and ate a shit ton of ice cream. Meenah watched us and laughed with us, silently because she clearly didn’t want to be found out. At some points she whispered jokes and side comments and I couldn’t help but laugh, of course I’d have to try and explain my random outbursts to Sollux and pray he won't think I’ve gone crazy.

  
“I have to be somewhere real quick before school starts so go on ahead without me.” I told Sollux as I strayed from the path to the school to the path to the abandoned park.

  
“Okay?”

  
“My turn!” Latula chippered.

  
“What the fuck?” Not only was Cronus waiting for me, but Latula was too.

  
“Say, maybe I should ride your sweet ass this time.” Cronus had a cocky grin on. I bet he thought he was fucking smooth.

  
“Fuck no.” I shot him down in a heartbeat. Like fuck would I allow myself to become his personal taxi.

  
“Can I come next?” Latula smiled. “I want to try beating your ass as Wario.” She smiled.

  
“Oh my gog. Can I have a one day break?”

“Sure but after you take me today!” I groaned.

  
“And me tomorrow. Only to make it fair.” I groaned louder.

  
“See you fuckers.” I turned around and started walking back to school soon to feel a (sadly) now familiar weight on my shoulder.

  
“Thanks grumpy.” Latula said.

  
“Whatever fuckface.”

  
“Hey.” Dave tapped my shoulder. I was in the classroom now with my head lazily on my desk and covered by my arms. “You alive bro?” The guy who kissed my forehead asked.

  
“Mhmm.” I mumbled. “Tired.” You wouldn’t think it but walking from here to the park (and sometimes the abandoned school) and back and taking care of little people can be exhausting, mentally and physically.

  
“Are you still up for later today?” I thought about Latula and how she might not appreciate being shunned by me being with Dave.  
“Yeah. I’m good for tonight.” Screw Latula.

  
At lunch Rose, Jade and Jane seemed a bit off. Jade wasn’t as hyper and cheery as usual, Jane wasn’t interested in the cake mix John’s dad used to bake him cake, and Rose was spiteful and snarky. Fucking weird ass moods.

  
“Hey.” I said sitting down. Kanaya looked worried for some reason, most likely for her girlfriend.

  
“Hello Karkat.” She said.

  
“Yo.” Classic Dave + Dirk combo.

  
“Hey Karkat!” John smiled. Jake just waved, I bet he thought he was cool. Loser.

  
Conversations started, but ended in awkward silence. Everyone was worried over Rose, Jane and Jade, especially since they shot down every conversation. Going to class was also awkward as fuck. Rose refused to walk with Kanaya, Jade growled (and I mean growled) at anyone who walked beside her, and Jane kept mentioning something about obey. It was awful.

  
“What’s wrong with them?” I asked Dave as we walked.

  
“Dunno.” He shrugged it off, but I knew something was off. “So where exactly do you want to go?” He asked me.

“I’m kinda hungry right now… Want to go eat somewhere and see where we go from there?” I asked.

  
“Sure.” And so we went to a local restaurant that served many weird dishes. All I really wanted to eat was a salad and some soup, Dave made me eat some of his (admittedly tasty) New York strip meat. He said I needed to actually eat something that had protein. Fucking worry wart.

  
“You’re worried about something.” I noticed. Dave had been mostly silent today so either it was the end of the world or he wasn't feeling good.

  
“Yeah?” He humored me. Latula slipped inside my bag… Probably to catch some Zs.

  
“What about?”

  
“Nothing you need to worry about.” I glared at him. “Okay! Okay! It’s just… I don’t like the fact that the girls were hostile today.” I thought for a while.

  
“Maybe it’s the club they’re in.” Dave shook his head.

  
“I thought it was that at first, so I went one day and there was nothing wrong with it. The club does volunteering work and read stories.” The girls were only hostile today… Dave’s story made no sense… He quickly noticed that. “They were hostile once before as well. Remember when you left early? They kinda went ape shit a bit after that.” I couldn’t tell if he was lying or not but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

  
After more conversations and splitting the check, we went to the movies to watch Interstellar. After the fucking depressing shit (which I’ll admit I cried twelve times during it) we went for a walk. Dave teased me about crying so much.

  
“You’d cry too if you had a fucking heart!” He laughed.

  
“C’mon Kitkat, the movie wasn’t as sad as it was interesting. All of the physics theories were pretty great and the ending was kinda ironic.” He grinned. We were going up a hill now and there was no one around. The hill would eventually lead to near Dave’s neighborhood, I was walking him home. Was. I stopped dead in my tracks with my eyes wide. There was a sharp pain on my side, it was as if someone stabbed me. I covered the wound with my hand hoping to stop the pain and (if any) the bleeding. “Kitkat?” Dave looked at me.

  
I fell to my knees and groaned at the pain. I finally got the courage to look if there was blood or not. The pain was awful and sharp but there was no blood on my handi nor on my shirt. “I’m fine. I think I pulled a muscle?” I said unsure. “My side hurts.”

  
“Do you need a doctor?” Dave knelt beside me. As soon as he did the pain was gone.

  
“No. It’s okay. The pain’s gone.” I said starting to get up, Dave helped me do so.

  
We kept on walking up the hill and for some reason I started to feel antsy but like hell would I allow Dave to see that. I kept my calm façade perfectly as we made our way up the hill.

  
We kept on going for a while but soon I had to stop again… Okay… More like I shoved Dave onto the ground. The reason being is that I felt something, well, more like sensed someONE. And sure enough there was a dark man with a dog head, tentacles, wings, and whatever else he grew out of his body. Jack was holding his blade right where Dave was standing.

  
Seeing this, Dave’s first reaction was to stand up and take out a sword from his sylladex. “Thanks Karkat, now run like hell and don’t turn back.” Dave said to me. I was sitting on the ground like a dumb idiot who didn’t know what to do. Like hell I’d abandon Dave and run away to safety, but was I good wnough at fighting to help Dave? Not to mention… I’m a null mage. I’m useless, pathetic, bothersome… Fragile.

  
I remembered that Latula was most likely still sleeping in my book bag. I took it off and opened it revealing Latula and some school items.  
“Done with your date yet?” She whispered.

  
“Karkat I told you to get out!” In front of my Dave was fighting off Jack. Both of them moved at an incredible speed… I’d stand no chance. I looked at Latula and then back at Dave… I had to do something.

  
“Go home Latula.” I whispered leaving the bag open on the floor. I took out my sickles from my own sylladex.

  
A few years back Sollux gave me these sickles, he said I needed a weapon to defend myself with. I sucked at weilding them at the time… I probably still suck now but I practiced so much with them I might as well put my skills to the test. I never used them on a live target before… And I hoped not to… Dave glanced at me and his mouth opened in shock. He didn’t know I could fight. He gritted his teeth and blocked another blow from Jack… He was fighting defensively. I clutched the handles and willed my feet to move. Jack noticed me and immediately changed his attention from Dave to myself.

  
He striked swiftly. I could barely see him move… Actually I didn’t see him move. I was done for. I was a fool for thinking I could do this. I was a moron. The sound of metal clashing with metal boomed. I look at the scene, my arm raised the sickle to the exact point it needed to be to block his attack. I didn’t know how I was doing this, in fact I wasn’t sure I wanted to, but I was doing it nonetheless.

  
Instincts drove me to block most of Jack’s attacks… Sometimes he was far too fast but Dave blocked those. From time to time we managed to become offense but we have yet to give him a scratch… It seems like he’s never going to get tired yet us on the other hand… I hope somebody would find us and save us from this creature, that seemed like the only way we’d be getting out of this situation alive.

  
Jack seemed to be irritated, most likely since we were on par with each other. For a moment he stopped striking… Dave and myself stood back to back taking this opportunity to regain some lost energy. We should have run.

  
Long pitch black tentacle-like things spiraled from his back and elongated towards Dave and I. We both dodged but Jack wasn’t just attacking with the tentacle things that somehow were attached to his body… He was striking at us with his sword tentacles went from one side to the other and he went were ever we were. He managed to separate Dave and myself. I knew I couldn’t simply give up but I can’t block all of his attacks, they are too fast, most likely enhanced by magic…  
His sword was close to hitting me but I blocked, then a tentacle came sprawling towards me and managed to grab my leg and swing me upside down. Dave was fighting against an armory of tentacles… I struggled to kick myself free… Although maybe I would break something from falling towards the ground. Dave glanced at me and gritted his teeth. I frowned.

  
Jack was a few feet away from me, his dark eyes piercing through my own. I strengthened my hold on my sickles and thanked past me for deciding to work out. I contracted the muscles in my abs getting close to my legs and forced my arm to strike the tentacle holding me, chopping it off. Jack shrieked angrily as I fell towards the ground. Dave broke into a sprint and started to glow. I fell heavily into his arms and he started to sprout wings from his back. Soon we were in the air and Jack was bellow us. Dave kept flying away clearly exhausted. We were safe.

  
“You okay?” Dave said clearly on edge.

  
“Yeah, just about. You?” He nodded. He kept on flying until suddenly we were sent crashing down to the floor. Dave screamed in pain. I managed to look behind Dave, part of his wing was cut off… Actually the majority of one of his wings was gone. He managed to slow most of our fall but we crashed hard non the less. My vision was hazy for a moment and I grunted feeling pain shoot throughout my body. There were scratches and bruises on both of us. Looking up I saw Jack flying down towards us as fast as he could. I landed a few feet away from Dave who was a bloody mess thanks to his missing wing. It pained my heart to see him this way… He was a fallen angel in more ways then one.

  
I forced myself up and so did he. He couldn’t stand straight and I couldn’t will my body to move towards him. As soon as he managed to balance himself, Jack appeared in front of him.

  
Horror. Agony. Sorrow. Anger. I felt many things watching Dave fall like that… I weakly walked towards him as Jack pulled his sword from Dave’s chest. Dave fell gracelessly to the ground, dying. Jack was in front of me now. My sickles were dropped somewhere during the fall… But even if they weren’t I didn’t have the strength to stop him.

  
Pain pierced through my side swiftly. I fell to my knees, beside Dave. I felt angry, revolted, and vengeful. I didn’t care about the hole on my side and the fact that Jack was about to finish me off. I wanted revenge. I wanted Dave to be alive and Jack took that from me.

  
Yet I couldn’t do anything, my body was weak and my mind weakened at the sight of Dave’s blood. My vision started to darken and my mind with it.

  
Surprisingly, my hand lifted itself a bit and strangely found itself touching Dave’s blood. Dave had AB blood. There was a heart beat. He was alive. Newfound energy boiled up inside of me. Blood oozed out of my wound… No… I made blood ooze out of my wound. My vision was black and I saw nothing except strings of red.  
Those weren’t strings… They were veins. I saw Dave’s heart beating slowly and I saw Jack standing beside me with his arm raised, about to deliver a final blow. I raised my hand protectively and with it a wall of red emerged from my body and blocked his attack.

  
I wasn’t a null mage. I wasn’t useless. I wasn’t pathetic. I wasn’t fragile. I was a monster. Jack was a monster as well. One fights fire with fire, so I’ll fight monster with monster.

  
My wall of red surprised Jack but he was ready now. I remembered a while back when I pricked my finger. Time was something not on my side.

  
He swung to the left and I blocked easily. He attempted to parry and attack I made with my blood, but the blood simply went around his blade and striked him down. I saw his heart beat faster with the negative B blood type circulating in his veins. He started to become more defensive as I started to overpower him with my shapeshifting weapon. Soon his tentacles started coming towards me, Dave’s heard beat was slower. I had to end this now. I molded my blood into a sharp edge and striked at Jack, this time hitting him above the heart. He cried out in pain and the tentacles withdrew and so did he. He probably knew things were not in his favor but I didn’t care.

  
I turned towards Dave, sat down once more and pulled up his chin hoping to ease his breathing. His heart beat was barely noticeable. I looked at the gross wound on my side, it was already starting to heal.

  
When Gamzee had turned my neck blue, it took a night for it to ameliorate, when I pricked my finger it took seconds for the small hole to close and now I’m already healing… My blood somehow was doing this and if I wanted to save Dave… That was just what he needed.

  
“Karkat!” I heard Latula yell from afar. I shaped the blood I had used to fight off Jack into a blade. “Are you okay??”

  
“Yeah. I’m fine.” My voice slurred and my eyes, that could for some unknown reason only see veins, were starting to fail. I cut my hands open with the blood blade and pressed my palms directly onto Dave’s wound… Forcing my O negative blood on him.

  
“Is he…” Latula started.

  
“No. He isn’t. Not if I have a say in it.” I said determined. I felt my blood circulate inside his veins filling up the empty space and beginning to close wounds.

  
“That’s good… And the bad guy?” I felt a small comfortable weight on my shoulder.

  
“He’s gone for now.” For a small while there was silence. “Latula…” I felt myself grow weaker for each drop of blood that left my body. “You should go back to your home… I’m not sure…” Breathing and speaking started to become difficult. “I can take you back.” I heaved. Color started to once more flow on Dave’s cheeks and his wounds went from fatal to merely scratches. I lifted my hands from his flesh (which was muscular as fuck) and forced my dizzy self up. My vision returned to normal, except it was hard to keep my eyes open.

  
“What do you mean?” Latula asked urgently. I smiled and lifted my arm, pointing towards the direction of her home.

“In case you don’t remember, your home is that way.” I said. “Got it?”

  
“Yeah… Karkat are you…” I didn’t hear what she said. I couldn’t hear anything, or see anything, or even feel anything.

  
There was nothing but blackness. The last thing I felt was a hard impact on my face and chest. Now it was just cold… Freezing cold. I didn’t feel my wounds aching or reminding me painfully of their obvious existence. My mind started to lose focus and will. Everything was black.


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fiiinnaaalllyyy managed to complete the second chapter, its sucky but it's done.  
> GOOD ENOUGH.  
> Now for chapter three…

For a while, everything was dark and empty and soundless. Then I started to hear voices.

“Is he going to be okay?” “I miss you, please come back.” “YOU FUCKING BASTARD DON’T YOU LEAVE ME!” “You saved him…” “I’ll kill whoever did this to you.” “Grumpy, everyone’s waiting for you at the forest, don’t take too long waking up.” “Son…” “Kitkat I’m so sorry… I couldn’t save you. I’m so sorry.” And so on and so forth. I heard tears and accusations, confessions and pleads, secrets and facts. I kept hearing so many voices.

 

I opened my eyes. Everything was white. Fucking bright white. My eyes squinted, slowly getting adjusted. “Where the fuck am I?” I grunted, my throat hurting as though I hadn’t used it in days. I heard a loud noise, my body wouldn’t move with the exception of my head. Sollux had leaped out of his chair at the sound of my voice.

 

“You’re awake!” He stated as if that was the most shocking revelation.

 

“No fucking dip? I thought I was dreaming right now.” A smile erupted from his lips and then a frown. “What?”

 

“Karkat… What’s the last thing you remember?” Sollux asked.

 

“Don’t make me think. My head hurts. Probably got drunk again didn’t I?” Another (this time half hearted) smile.

 

“No. You’re in the hospital KK. You nearly died.” I blinked.

 

“What’s the joke?” I asked forcing a laugh. “Tell me there’s a fucking joke!” Images started to flow through my head. “Oh shit.” Jack was after us… He hurt us… He killed… “Dave??” I asked frantically.

 

“He’s fine. In fact he barely had a scratch on him. Didn’t even need a band-aid.” I sighed in relief.

 

"Where is he?" Sollux pointed at my feet. “Is he asleep?” I asked.

 

“Yeah. He’s been here just as long as I have.” He said.

 

“Just as long? How long have I been out?” I blinked expecting to hear a few days.

 

“Two years.” He stated gravely. I blinked.

 

“WHAT???” I yelled in disbelief. Sollux burst into his weird laughter and I stared at him dumbfounded.

 

"You are far too gullible!” He said in between bursts. “Four days KK. Just four days.”

 

“You are so fucking lucky I don't have the energy to kill you right now.” I huffed causing him to chuckle even more. I smiled softly.

 

“I’m glad you’re awake KK.” Sollux said once he calmed down a bit.

 

“I won’t be for long.” He looked alarmed at me. “Tired as fuck.” He sighed and then glared.

 

“You suck KK. Anyways if you’re so tired just go sleep.” He crossed his arms.

 

“Sing me a bedtime song?” I grinned.

 

“Fuck. No.” I chuckled. “Shut up.”

 

“I didn't say a thing.” I smiled closing my eyes. “I’m glad I’m awake too.” I whisper as I started to fall asleep.

 

“KK…” Sollux started. I opened one eye.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Fucking scare me like this again and you are dead.” I chuckled. “And don’t tell a soul about your… Element. Do you understand?” He was dead serious. “Do you?” He repeated himself.

 

“What element?” I answered. Sollux was not satisfied with my answer. “I promise okay?”

 

"Good.” I closed my eye once more and dozed off.

 

“Hehe he looks funny while asleep!” I hear a giggling small voiced.

 

“Shh! He’s waking up!” I groaned not wanting to deal with whatever the hell was waiting for me. I lazily opened my eyes, allowing them to focus on the dimly lit room. “Grumpy, how are you?” A familiar voice asked.

 

“Fuck you.” I groaned. I was now able to move part of my body.

 

“He’s fine guys!” I opened my eyes and surely enough there was a montage of fairies in front of me. I blinked. “How are you feeling grumps?”

 

“Like I got hit by a fucking train. How did all of you get here?” I blinked hoping this was some sort of dream.

 

“I guided them here. They wanted to see if their taxi was okay.” I glared at Latula and she laughed. “We were worried Grumps. You’re the first outsider we’ve ever seen who was this nice. We don’t want you gone. Especially if you're final words were efforts to guide me home. That’s not right. They should be something cool like ‘Death will not have the last laugh’ or some bullshit like that.”

 

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time I’m nearly dead.” I rolled my eyes. “I thought you guys hated the outside world… At least when you are en masse or not with your taxi.”

 

“We do not have strong negative emotions towards your choice of residence. Unlike some people we…” Meenah put a hand on top of Kankri’s mouth.

 

“Shhh he just woke up after nearly dying. Simple words Kankri… Simple words.” Meenah might have just saved my life right there; suicide is a better alternative than listening to that moron speak.

 

"Very well then. We don’t hate the outside, we simply avoid it.” Kankri seemed “triggered”.

 

“Oh.” I mumbled. “Don’t like the big people?” I asked. My voice seemed weak; actually I seemed weak. It was only by sheer will that I could move myself freely. I wonder why it’s taking so long to get better…

 

“Trigger warning. Most of you are rude and curious. Our forest sanctuary would be ruined if they knew us.”

 

“Oh I see. By the way have you ever played Triggerfist?” He blinked a bit confused. “The name makes it seem like you’d like it.” Latula snickered a bit.

 

“Okay Grumps, the sun’s nearly up. We’re going to have to go while we still can. I’ll be back later, see you around.” She was right, the sun was rising and the dark seemed to leave. I’m sure not all of them could be transparent for long time periods…

 

“Bye Karkat.” The montage of Byes started. I waved at them weakly. It was nice that they came to visit… I watched them go, and kept looking out of the window even after they were no longer in sight. Would it be nice to live like them?

 

“Karkat… Don’t die.” A plea. Blood, my blood, covered his entire body. Around me there was only chaos. I couldn't move my body, not even my eyes. It was too much energy that I had lost. A warm hand, Dave’s warm hand, grabbed my cold pale one. His orange eyes shined with the fresh tears that formed by the second. “Don’t leave me Kitkat. Please stay. Help is coming. They’ll get here. Rose…. She snapped out of it. She’s okay now. It’s all thanks to you. So stay, you need to stay. She’ll want to thank you.” A lie… Rose was gone, but his voice was comforting and it was shaking… I’ve never seen Dave so sad.

 

"I love you.” I whispered with a smile before closing my eyes. I had no strength to go on, as much as I wanted to stay with him.

 

“Karkat??? KARKAT!!” He screamed. “Hey Karkat… Kitkat!” Dave said in a whisper yell. “Wake up!”

 

“Wh- what?” I asked lazily and exhausted.

 

“Thank gog… Kitkat were you having a nightmare?” Dave sighed calming down. I managed to sit up wobbling a bit.

 

“I…” I thought about it for a moment. “I guess. I haven’t taken my pills as of late...” Dave frowned looking at me. “Ever since I was put in this hospital I haven’t been able to take anything for my insomnia. Without it I have these… Gory dreams.” I explained. He stayed quiet for a moment, thinking. “What?” I raised a brow. He lifted a hand to my cheek and I swear I felt his eyes on mine.

 

“Karkat… I promise that whatever happened in that dream, it will not happen in real life.” I felt my heart skip a beat as his skin touched mine. Holy shit, was my face getting redder?

 

“It’s okay Dave… It’s just a dream.” Dave stayed silent. “Dave?”

 

“As far as anyone’s concerned, you have no powers. Got it?” He was serious.

 

“Okay?” Sollux had told me the same thing before… What’s wrong with blood magic?

 

"You have a strange self regenerating ability and that’s it.” I nodded slowly. “I’ll explain later in a less public space. Say… At your place?” Dave smiled.

 

“Sure.” I smiled back. “After I can leave of course.”

 

“That shouldn’t take long. You’ll be out by tomorrow I think.”

 

"Gnarly.” I mumbled. “So… To what do I owe the pleasure of your humble visit?” I asked. His hand left my cheek, leaving it feeling naked.

 

“I… I wanted to thank you… And to tell you never to… Do what you did, ever again.” I blinked. “I don’t want to have to see you die again. I can’t Karkat.” Again?

 

“I’m not dying Dave. Like you said, I’ll be out of here in no time.” He offered a weak smile.

 

“The cops are going to want to talk to you.” He said.

 

“Why?” I grunted not liking the idea of talking to grownup strangers.

 

“You lived to see Jack. Remember, he knocked me out because he didn’t want to face two adversaries. He stabbed you, left you for dead and forgot about me. You then dragged yourself over to my general area to see if I was okay and proceeded to pass out. That is all that happened. Understand?” I nod and sigh. I lay back down on the bed. “I’ll explain everything later. Pinky promise.”

 

"Yeah okay.” He smiles.

 

I wake up ridiculously early in the morning after another night’s rest. My head is killing me and my side hurts a little. “Fuck this shit.” I grunted. I’m tired of seeing a shit ton of hospital white. Hell I’ll probably wear black for the rest of my life just to spite this white monstrosity. I sit up far more agitated than usual… Actually I was dying to leave this place… It didn’t feel safe. Not at all. I shuffled to my feet feeling quite weird since I haven’t used my walking limbs in gog knows how long. “Nurse?” I whispered. Something felt wrong, very wrong. I heard a noise on the window across the room. I slowly turn my head and bite my tongue hoping I wont scream like a wuss.

 

A dark figure was staring at me holding a bloody sword and an oddly familiar (albeit bloody) pair of sunglasses. It’s eyes glowing red and its mouth making a snarly noise. I gulped and backed away slowly towards the other side of the room and towards the door. That’s when it dawned me, those sun glasses belonged to Dave.

 

“What the fuck did you do to him?” My voice was weak. Jack kept silent, he was in the room now, the window was open for some reason (I blame the hospital’s ignorance). I kept walking back slowly, hoping small movements might not agitate that killer. I was wrong. He started to come faster and faster. The room wasn’t really a room for one. It was a room for four, luckily I managed to snag it all to myself, so There was a fair amount of space between Jack and I. I bolted towards the door, it was fairly close to me now. I tried the knob, but the door was locked. The door was fucking locked. What is this??? Prison??

 

“Hey open up!!” I yelled banging on the door. Looking behind me Jack had his sword raised high and ready to slash me dead. My eyes were wide with fear. Shit I was going to die. Shit. Fucking stupid half assed shit.

 

 Suddenly the door behind me flew open and an arm grabbed me and pulled me into the hallway. I fell back easily and landed on my rump. Fucking hard ass floor.

 

“I told you.” The man that pulled me back said. “This guy doesn’t have a blood type element. Doesn’t fit the charts.” The officer looking guy smiled at me. “Hey kid. Sorry about the scare. We had to get you tested before, y’know, we could let you go. The names Brody. And that guy over there? Harvey. The man in the costume, Jess.” I was breathing heavily.

 

“Get me tested for what? My horror movie cliché tolerance?” I tried not to sound as freaked out as I felt.

 

“Nah kid, we had to see if you’re one of the unlucky few.” I looked at Brody, clearly confused. The door to the room opened again and the costumed man with the bloody sword appeared. I jumped. A small chuckle emerged and he took of his head… Wait no… His mask. Okay he’s definitely a normal guy and not Jack. I’m okay with this. Anything but Jack is perfectly fine.

 

“The unlucky few are the guys with the ability to control blood. Those guys normally can’t control any other element even if just a lil bit, kinda like you. But they tend to be quite the murderous bunch, always pickin’ fights and controlling the poor victims, not like you at all.” Jess, the Jack wannabe, said.

 

“Why are they unlucky?”

 

“’Cause they only got two choices. Work fo’ the government o die fo’ the government.” I don’t know what’s worse, knowing that I could have been forced to work for the crappy government or die if I used my abilities, or the fact that I had to listen to Harvey’s attempt at english.

 

“Why aren’t they allowed to live like the rest of us?” I asked hoping the whole ‘rest of us’ crap would sell.

 

“Well, would you want maniac blood controlling freaks roaming around with the ability to kill people?” I slowly shook my head. “Thought so.” Brody sighed and helped me up. “Don’t worry about it kid. If you had abilities like those you would have used ‘em against Jess and attempted to stop him… But you didn’t so we’re cool.”

 

“We’re gunna want to interview you mr...?” Jess started.

 

“Vantas. Karkat Vantas.” I said, my voice was returning to normal and my heart rate with it.

 

"Mr. Vantas, mind if we asked some questions?” I shook my head.

 

After a few hours the doctors told me to call someone to pick me up. I was free to go. I called Sollux and asked him for a ride. Thankfully the hospital gave me some clothes so I wouldn’t have to put up with a hospital gown, aren’t they nice?

 

Sollux came driving my car (which I was 99% sure he would) and riding shotgun was Dave.  I got on the backseat.

 

“Hey dweeb, how are you feeling?” Sollux asked.

 

“Okay I guess. My side still hurts somehow.” I mumbled.

 

“Probably due to the fact you had lost a shit ton of blood, blood that had healing properties. No worries though, you’ll make new blood cells to make up for the lost ones.” Sollux explained. The fucker probably googled this beforehand.

 

"Did they come?" Dave asked, probably referring to the police officers.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“What did they say?” I felt the tension rise.

 

“They basically asked for my version of the story and what Jack looked like.” I told them.

 

“And you told them what I asked you to?” Dave looked at me worried.

 

“Nah I told them the truth.” I could literally feel him glaring at me. “I also told them about that pink unicorn that we ride on to go to school, and they told me about how Santa’s going to give them some new guns and shit.” I rolled my eyes. “Of fucking course I told them what you told me to tell them, I wasn’t born yesterday.” He sighed clearly in relief.

 

“Good.” Sollux said. “Don’t ever mention you have blood abilities.” I nodded. “Else they’re going to kill or enslave you.”

 

“I know.” I mumbled. “Change of topics now please.” I said quickly. I needed to stop talking about my fucking lame ass abilities and about something else and yet both of them stayed silenced. I sighed and stared out the window.

 

As I slowly made my way up the stairs to my apartment I felt more and more nervous about entering it. I didn’t want to deal with my father. Oh gog no. He’ll rip me in two for nearly dying and giving him a humongous hospital fee. If only this was some magical place with moose and maple syrup where hospitals were free of price…

 

I unlocked the door soundlessly, and I opened it almost as soundlessly. I cringed at every whisper of a sound I made. “Hey Mr. Crabdad! Your son’s home!” Sollux shouted. I turned around and gave him the death stare and the fucker simply smirked. I'm going to kill him… Painfully.

 

I cringed at the sound of the marching steps… Fully expecting a montage of screams and yells when I saw the pale, lean, 28-year old black haired father figure. His blue eyes seemed redder… As if he either cried like a baby or refused to sleep at all… Maybe both. I closed my eyes readying myself for the massive scolding that was surely bound to come. Instead I received a bone crushing hug from the old man. I didn't hesitate to hug the shit out him.

 

“You're fucking grounded son.” He whispered. This is one of the few moments my stepdad and myself actually showed that we care; actually I’m pretty sure this has only happened twice in my life… Fuck I should nearly die more often. “I missed you.” He finally released me.

 

Usually whenever I got home dad would pile on a shit ton of chores for me, hence why I always try to sneak around the house… But for once I he didn’t nag at me about doing jack. I am so loving it, much more than McDonalds.

 

It turns out he had made dinner for all of us as a welcome back from being nearly dead kind of thing, I actually like not having to cook dinner for once. After eating, dad went back to his studies, probably to allow me to be with my friends. You know, he might make me do all of the chores, but at least he actually cares.

 

Dave and Sollux both ended up sleeping over, Dave slept in my bed again. The first time wasn’t that much of a big deal… But right now for some reason I couldn’t sleep. My heart was beating faster than it should and my breath was hard and forced. At some point I was just staring at his serene face. Fuck. I like this boy. I actually like this motherfucker.

 

 I forced my eyes closed and tried to ease my breath, eventually I managed to fall asleep.

 

Sollux stood with Aradia on his arms… She was injured and unconscious. Sollux used his (now no longer secret) telekinetic abilities to defend them against the hoards of braindead teenagers. Sadly even he can’t handle them all. Jane and Jade started to team up against him. Jade kept teleporting, distracting Sollux, and Jane started to sneak her way behind him. Of fucking course he didn’t fucking notice…

 

But I did...

 

Sollux was my best friend; he’s been with me for nine years now. He comes before all else, alongside my stepdad at least. I couldn’t let him die or get hurt, no matter what. I quickly cut my hand, forcing blood from the small slice towards Jane and through Jane. She fell swiftly to the floor.

 

Jade, noticing this, growled at me and launched herself at me teleporting in the process and appearing right before me… I, in the meanwhile, made the same blood that, quite possibly, killed Jane form a wall around me and attack Jade as soon as she appeared, allowing her to fall to the ground as well.

 

Two people lay, motionless and pale on the floor because of me. I looked at Sollux and he looked at me. What was it he felt? Fear? Relief? Angered? Worried? … Disgusted? I don’t know. I didn’t want to know. I started walking towards him… I wanted to ask if he was okay, but before I could I saw his grip on Aradia tighten protectively. He saw me as a monster. My best friend thinks I would hurt him. I looked down at Jane and Jade’s motionless bodies and soundlessly I walk away.

 

I opened my eyes, my heart raced and I flew off my bed running towards the bathroom not giving a single fuck whether I woke up anyone. I opened the mirror cabinet and took out my sleeping pills. I filled up a cup of water and dumped Gog knows how many pills in my shaking hand. All I ever wanted was to be able to sleep; these pills always did the trick but now…

 

Before I could do anything stupid, I closed my (still shaking) hands with a change of heart and put the pills back in the container and closed it. I put the cup back on top of the massive sink countertop.

 

I closed the door and sat down on the wall, bringing my knees in and hiding my face between them. I stayed there desperate, thinking only of Sollux’s face and how fearful it looked. I stayed there until someone knocked on the door. “Karkat?” It was Dave.

 

“I’m shitting in here!” I called out, my voice sounding muffled.

 

“I’m coming in.” Sadly this door doesn’t have a lock after the bathtub incident. Long story short: I was taking a shower and I didn’t notice at first but I dropped my soap, when I went to grab my shampoo I stepped on the soap and fell, but I grabbed the two things nearest to me, the shower head and the curtains. The showerhead came right off the wall and the curtains fell on top of me. I had locked the door and was basically unconscious; dad heard this and had to call 911 to help open the door. I have a few scars on my sides to prove this incident occurred.

 

“I’m naked and I’m stinky. Come at your own risk.” I forced my voice to stay calm. Dave hesitated at the other side of the door, but he came in eventually. He let out a sigh of reliefof relief when he saw me sitting in a fetal position and not taking a dump. “Go away.” I mumbled, my voice shaking a bit.

 

“Karkat…” Sollux asked half asleep, he was right behind Dave. I didn’t look up at him like I normally would; I really didn't want to relive the nightmare…

 

I sighed and stood up, not looking at either of them. My body shook lightly as I reached for the sleeping pills and my voice trembled as I spoke. “One of you take these.” I toss it at their general direction. Dave caught it.

 

“Your sleeping pills?” Dave raised a brow, I barely noticed it since his glasses enveloped a big portion of the upper half of his face.

 

“No, toilet paper.” I tried joking, but it sounded dry and bitter. “Don’t want to risk something. Just take them. I’m going back to bed.” Without looking at them I passed through them and laid back on my bed, laying sideways and facing the wall. Whenever I closed my eyes I kept reimagining Sollux looking at me with fear or maybe hatred. My imagination kept taking over and every time I blinked he had a new distasteful expression, sometimes he said something harsh and fowl about me and sometimes he yelled at me to back away or to not harm him. I kept my eyes open, blinking quickly only when I had to.

 

 

Minutes passed before both of them went to bed. Dave was right beside me and Sollux was right above me as usual. My mind drifted to the police officers in the hospital and what they said about people that controlled blood. What if I was one of those murdering maniacs after all? Ever since Eridan’s party I kept having nightmares of visions about blood and death… Maybe that’s what drives blood mages to kill, maybe that’s what will drive me to kill. What if Sollux was scared of me justly in my dream? What if he’s scared of me now?

 

“Are you okay?” Dave whispered, I decided to pretend to be asleep. “I know you’re awake genius.” I kept being silence. “Come on Karkat, answer me… Please?” I felt a hand on my side and I jumped a bit.

 

“What do you want, I’m tired.” I mumbled.

 

“Turn over.” He asked ‘nicely’. I stayed silent not really wanting to. “Please?” I sighed and turned to face him.

 

“What?” I stared at him.

 

“What was that about?” He questioned as he placed his hand on my cheek.

 

“I had a nightmare and I freaked out okay?”

 

“What about?”I I stayed silent. “Kitkat?”

 

“I don’t want to talk about it” I closed my eyes, and tried desperately to ignore the image of Sollux glaring at me with fear… I did not succeed, yet I still kept my eyes shut. Dave sighed and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. “What are…” I started to ask.

 

“Human contact tends to drive away bad dreams. You're welcome.” I smirked a bit at his cocky attitude. He was right though, the human contact did make me feel a bit better. Eventually I did manage to fall asleep.

 

After a few hours of talking with my dad, I managed to convince him to let me out again… Dave and Sollux already went home since they had a lot of homework. Thankfully they had brought me days of homework in advanced to me in the hospital, so I managed to get a shit ton done.

 

I had to use the “I need exercise” card on my dad alongside the “fresh air and nature is good for you” bullshit to convince him to let me out for at least a few hours. I’m still not allowed in the park though, considering that’s where I nearly died. To be honest I just wanted to visit Latula and the others, maybe have someone ride my shoulder… I have to admit it’s kind of fun having someone make jokes and commentaries to you in your day to day life…

 

“GRUMPS!” Latula screamed with joy hugging my neck with her tiny arms. “You’re okay!” She cheered.

 

“No dip” I smiled a little though. “Anyways, I came to pick you up.” Latula released my neck and  flew to eye level.

 

“Really? You really want me to kick your ass in video games again?” She asked chuckling.

 

“No!” I retorted crossing my arms.

 

“Maybe you missed me?” She mocked me, I frowned and pointed my tongue at her completely maturely. “You did!!!” She grinned.

 

“Before you two leave, Karkat I need to talk to you.” Meenah said sitting on top of my head. “Wow it’s like a jungle up here, do you ever comb your hair?”

 

“I do!” I frowned. “Sometimes.” I add. “Anyways, you can come with me and Latula if you’d like.”

 

“Sweet, but that’s not what I wanted to say.” Meenah stood up on my head like it was a fucking platform.

 

“Then what?” I walk closer to the school’s ruins, closer to their home, and sit down in one of the thick roots that surrounded a two foot high brick wall.

 

“I want to train you.” Meenah  moved from my head to my knee. And I blinked. “From now on, you’re to come here every day for your training.”

 

“Training for what?” I wondered.

 

“Well we, Latula and I, heard your boyfriends talk about how your abilities could end up killing you… So I’m going to prevent that!” She smiled as though she solved global warming.

 

“What’s wrong Grumps?” Latula asked after I stayed silent.

 

“One, neither of them are my boyfriends… Let’s make sure that’s clear.” Meenah smirked. “Two, my abilities can kill me if I use them in public or if I use them too much.” I explained.

 

“Well that’s a piss poor excuse to get out of training.” Meenah shook her head. “You won’t be practicing in public AND you will practice so that using your ability won’t kill you. The way I see it, it’s a win win situation.” I smiled.

 

“Okay, I’ll humor you.”

 

“Great cause we start now grumps.” I blinked. “How do you get the blood thing working?”

 

"What? Now?" I frowned tiredly.

 

“Yeah. Now quit whining.” Damn Meenah was bossy as fuck.

 

“Fine.” I sighed. “What the hell?” I mumbled giving myself some inspiration to actually do this dumb ass training.

 

“That’s the spirit Grumps!” Latula smirked, I simply rolled my eyes. With a sigh, I looked at my hands, how the fuck was I supposed to cut them?

 

“Do you have anything sharp?” I asked looking around.

 

Suddenly a new face appeared, this blue eyed ‘beauty’ radiated with her blue smile. Her black hair was cut short, restrained from riding the wind as she flew rapidly towards me, colliding with my chest. A small pain was felt, much like a bee sting that only throbbed for a few seconds. “I’m terribly sorry but you must permit me to study you!” She smiled, her glasses askew with her face.

 

“Fuck no.” I grumbled placing a hand on my aching chest and frowning.

 

“I’ve been wanting to study a blood mage for such a long time… Please you HAVE to let me watch!”

 

"You're such a creep.” Meenah grinned. “You can watch him practice.”

 

“Hey!” I nearly yelled.

 

“It’s okay Grumps.” Latula patted my head but I barely felt it since her hands were so small.

 

“Whatever.” I groaned looking at my hand. Surely you’d expect an abandoned school to have some broken shards of glass or something sharp lying around… Yet all of these dumbass plants grew on top of the residue so there was nothing. I thought of how I managed to shape my blood into a sharp weapon to fight off Jack... I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and touched the palm of my left hand willing the blood to harden itself and cut itself out. I could feel the blood pushing itself to where my fingers were, so I pulled my hand back and surely enough the blood followed. I opened my eyes and could only see darkness and red… And purple, and blue, and turquoise... What the hell?

 

I admit I freaked out a bit, separating me and those many colors with my string of blood. Like hell was I going to suffer from this rainbow monstrosity.

 

“Karkat?” The turquoise… No, Latula said. I lowered my blood a bit.

 

“What the fuck kind of blood color is that?” I nearly shrieked. Among them there was only one god tier with red blood… Well there seemed to be a few more but they were far away.

 

“What do you mean?” Latula asked flying carefully closer to me, I backed up a bit… I’ll admit it was all far too scary… I don’t know why but… It felt so intimidating…

 

“Your blood is turquoise… Blood isn’t supposed to be turquoise!!”

 

“Oh… That. It comes with being god tier… Trolls only though it’s weird. Calm down grumps it's still me, Latula.” I took a deep breath and completely lowered my blood.

 

“What was that about?” Meenah asked, she was the royal purple blood colored one… “Never mind… Let’s just get into training.” She shrugged. “Don’t freak out on us grumps.”

 

“Right…” Somehow I was still afraid of them. I don’t know why, but each of them having their own blood color made me feel so inferior. “Sorry about that.” I muttered, trying not to gawk at the different colors presented upon my weird ass eyes.

 

“How are you feeling?” The blue blooded girl asked… She’s the weird one that wanted to study me I think.

 

“A little bit light headed… Who are you anyways?” I asked

 

“Aranea.” She muttered while writing something.

 

“Karkat. Focus!” Meenah shouted by me ear.

 

“Yeah okay just don’t get me deaf. I rather like being able to fucking hear.” I grumbled.

 

"What can you do right now?” Latula asked.

 

I got home pretty late… Thankfully dad was at work. I took a shower and died on my bead, allowing Latula and Meenah free reign over my room.

 

“Rose?? Snap out of it Rose!” I screamed dodging one of Rose’s bomb attacks. Everything was exploding… And Rose didn’t seem to care. “Come on Rose! We’re friends!” I jumped to the left avoiding another bomb. Rose kept on attacking me and I honestly don’t know why… She wouldn’t even say a word! I pounced at her, awkwardly pinning her to the ground. “Calm the fuck down blondie.” I was getting angry. She kneed a very important manly part of my body, making me get off of her cringing and with tears forming on my eyes.

 

“Obey.” She hissed. I managed to roll out of another attack, filled with pain… However, the explosion managed to send shards of glass flying (probably from a window or something). One shard managed to cut me…

 

“That’s it!” I yelled my blood suddenly started to move out of my body. For some reason this shocked me… I focused the blood on Rose. I wanted to live. “Oh fuck. Rose???” Everything was red… Everything was fucking red. “Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh my fucking fuckwaddled hell.” I started to hyperventilate… Rose was… Dead. “I killed Rose…” My voice was a hoarse whisper… “I fucking killed Rose…” I started to cry.

 

My eyes opened and I woke up with a startle. My breath was heavy and I was sweating like I just came out of a two-day session at the gym. Latula and Meenah were asleep… Thankfully I didn’t wake them up…

 

I remembered Sollux staring at me with fear slapped on his face. Holy fucking shit, I don’t think I want to sleep at all anymore.

 

“You look like shit.” Sollux commented. I rolled my eyes but honestly, I felt like shit.

 

“Gee, thanks.” I mumbled laying my head on my arms. Sollux looked serious though… “I just had a bad night. Don’t worry about it.” I said as Dave came over to our side of the room. Most trolls in the room hated seeing how easily we interacted, but they never said anything.

 

"Hey Kitkat, can you come over Saturday?” I blinked.

 

“Sure I guess.” I noticed Dave’s head was closer to facing Sollux rather than me. These two half-brained idiots were plotting something… Or maybe I’m just having sleep deprivation induced paranoia… One or the other.

 

"Alright cool.” He flashed a smile and went to his seat. That was random as fuck.

 

“Yeah.” I mumbled as though he could still hear me. I turned my head to look back at Sollux, despite not really wanting to. He looked a bit worried. “What?”

 

“Normally you’d be a bit happier when you two make plans to hang.” I blinked and probably blushed a bit. “It’s true.” He shrugged. “What’s going on Karkat?” I thought for a bit… Maybe I should tell Sollux about the nightmares I’ve been having… He’s my best friend… He wouldn’t freak out.

 

“I need to tell you something…” But maybe he would? According to every person ever, blood mages are naturally born murderers… What if he thinks I’m leaning towards killing massive amounts of people? Shit I don’t want to lose our friendship…

 

“What is it?” I can trust Sollux. He knows me… He knows I wouldn’t kill people even if I could. Yeah... I know I can trust him.

 

“I have a crush on Strider.” I covered my mouth. Fuck I’m such a coward… At least I didn’t give him a half-baked lie.

 

“You...” He blinked and then smiled. “I am so setting you two up.” I frowned.

 

“Oh hell no.” I said immediately… My face was redder than I care to admit, not just because of teenage hormones acting up because of an attraction towards another but also due to the unnerving regret, guilt and embarrassment of hiding something from the one person I’d trust with my life who’s always helped me no matter the cost.

 

“Come on ‘Kitkat’!” He was making fun of my nickname wasn’t he? “It’s pretty obvious he likes you.” I glance at Dave… He was talking to John and smirking… He probably made some stupid ass joke that wasn’t funny at all but was somehow “ironic”. Idiot.

 

“Still… I don’t want to risk loosing our friendship.” I looked back at Sollux… He was glaring at me. “Okay, I’ve been watching too many romcoms.”

 

“I’m glad you know the difference between TV drama and real life. Dave seems like the kind of guy that wouldn’t let feelings ruin friendship.” He gave me a smile.

 

“You’re right.” I admitted.

 

“I know.” I rolled my eyes. Gog, could Sollux be any cockier? “Thanks for trusting me KK.” He smiled. My heart ached as though he had just stabbed it.

 

“No problem.”

 

Today I had left Meenah and Latula at home since they were too tired from training me. Apparently yelling and being bossy is arduous and straining… The more you know.

 

“Hey look who’s home!” Meenah smirked. “Finally! I’m so tired of allowing Latula beat me in this infernal game.” Latula laughed.

 

“Hey Grumps, I’ve found someone worse at this game than you.” I rolled my eyes.

 

“You should play against Sollux, I’m sure he’d actually pose a challenge… in fact he might even beat you.”

 

“Oh hell no, I’d beat him easily!” I wonder if I could somehow influence them into introducing themselves to Sollux.

 

“Doubt it.” I grinned. “And there’s no way you can prove me wrong.”

 

“Invite him over right now and play this game with him and let me handle the controls.” Figures.

 

“Maybe later. Anyways, how are you two?” I asked sitting on the couch and watching them play their game.

 

“Glad you’re back. Help me pwn this cocky bastard!” I quickly grabbed a controller.

 

“Gladly.”

 

“You two are resorting to double teaming? Fine. I can still beat you two senseless.” Latula was probably right… but whatever.

 

“You grab I smash?” Meenah suggested.

 

“Okay.” We spent a good two hours trying to beat Latula with basically nothing to show for it. I wonder how much time she spent playing games like this when she was a kid.

 

When we finally stopped playing, Meenah and Latula began my “training” session. Yesterday was all about controlling the blood and where it goes, today was basically a repeat. To be honest, I think these training sessions take forever to complete and are ridiculously straining… but they actually seem to be efficient. I don’t know how Meenah and Latula managed to figure out a way to make me hone my reject of an element but I owe them for it.

 

Despite being exhausted by the point I went to bed, I only managed to sleep for about two hours, again waking up from another nightmare. Meenah and Latula were still asleep on the top bed regardless of my panting and incoherent mumbling. Dad was also asleep, and the probability of him waking up before 6 am was impeccably low so I decided to head to the bar and grab a drink or two.

 

Thankfully they have a policy of closing at two in the morning and it was only twelve thirty when I got there so I had plenty of time.

 

“Hey Kirkit!” Butch smiled at me. “It’s been a while since you’ve visited. What’s up?” He already started to prepare a beer for me.

 

“Couldn’t sleep.” I shrugged. “Missed me?” I gave him a half-hearted smile and sat on my usual seat.

 

“Yeah, you were pretty much the joy of my day. It’s fun listening to you rant bullshit all the time. The boys and I have a game, a shot for every time you say ‘fuck’. Sadly we can’t play that game without you.” I chuckled.

 

“Harsh.” I took the beer he handed me and was a bit surprised to see it tasted a bit sweeter than usual. “New beer?” I asked.

 

“Yeah, you were always complaining about how the ones we had tasted like bitter shit so I decided to change things up a bit.” He started to clean a few cups.

 

“You are the greatest bar tender and don’t you dare let anyone tell you otherwise.” He smiled. “I actually like this one. Where’d you get it anyways?”

 

“It’s brewed in Olde Town Galifrey. Found it during a trip to Central City.”

 

“Can I buy a bottle to go?” I took another sip. For once my goal was to not get drunk as hell, but to actually have a drink only once in a while… I’m pretty sure Sollux is ready to start an intervention for this shit.

 

“Yeah, that’ll be twenty.” He put the bottle on the counter and took the money in my hand.

 

“This is good stuff Butch.”

 

I went home surprisingly sober and with a completely full bottle, I was actually ridiculously proud of myself. I hid the bottle in the one corner of the fridge dad never touches, the vegetables section.

 

“So, are you going to confess your undying love to him tonight?” Sollux smiled while he attempted to own me in Smash, little did he know he was versing Latula (out of her request). “On a side note, you’ve gotten better in this game.”

 

“I don’t love him, I just harbor feelings of immense attraction.” He chuckled. “Maybe I will though and thanks.”

 

“You should. Oh my gog, dude we can dress you up all pretty in a gold and white dress with red lipstick and excessive make-up.”

 

“Personally I prefer black and blue, and I think red doesn’t look good on me… maybe a burgundy.” He laughed.

 

“Noted. So are you my gay best friend now?”

 

“Call me that again and I will kill you.” The moment I said that was the moment I felt regret. “I’m just kidding.” I added, mostly to calm myself. I’d never harm Sollux ever.

 

“I know Karkat…” He raised a brow. “Anyways, you should at least dress up nicely… maybe some cologne.”

 

“Are you insinuating I stink?”

 

“In this game? Yeah.” He said as he barely managed to defeat Latula, who seemed eager for round two.

“Oh shut up, I almost had you.” These two were ridiculously good in this game.

 

“Almost, but not quite.” He smiled. “Anyways, we should probably get ready soon.”

 

“Just one more round?”

 

“I did say soon. Think I can beat you quickly?”

 

“More like the other way around fuckhead.” He grinned.

 

“We’ll see.”

 

I knocked awkwardly on Dave’s door… After playing a few more rounds with Sollux, and it actually being ME playing it, I think I managed to get over that nightmare with him.

 

“Hey come in!” Dave said opening the door for us. “You’re admittedly a bit late.”

 

“Yeah, sorry about that. I was busy schooling his ass.” Sollux grinned.

 

“I almost beat you!” I pointed a tongue at him as he entered Dave’s apartment.

 

“Whatever you say KK.” I rolled my eyes and followed him in, surprised when I saw all of Dave’s friends and Kanaya all hanging around. I swear to gog if this was some sort of intervention I’m going to fucking scream bloody murder and go ape shit on these fuckers.

 

“What’s this?” I asked Dave curiously.

 

“Just a ‘glad you feel better’ mini party for you. We thought you might like it.” I blinked not really believing this was for me.

 

“You... I… thank you.” I was utterly baffled… Honestly, nobody has ever gone this far for me with the exception of Sollux.

 

The party was pretty great actually; it was fun talking to everyone. I haven’t smile so much in so long… Rose, Jade and Jane seemed to be better too… no more: crazy mood bullshit. Kanaya and Rose weren’t really together most of the time… Were they not seeing eye to eye?

 

All of us ended up watching movies and playing video games (Sollux only lost when everyone teamed up against him… and even then he barely lost). Dave’s bro actually came out and one point and showed us baby pictures of Dave and Dirk… it was utterly hilarious but neither Dave nor Dirk seemed to think so. My favorite picture was of Dave taking a baby bath with soap in his mouth.

 

When everyone left (except for Sollux who gave me “ ** _the look_** ” that inspired me to talk to Dave or else) I snatched Dave saying “I need to tell you something.”

 

We were now in his room and my heart was beating ridiculously fast. It was a strain to be able to breathe and I’m pretty sure that my entire face was red. “What did you want to talk about?” Dave asked.

 

“Uh…” Too many thoughts were crossing my mind. “I wanted to hold your sunglasses?” Why the fuck was that the first thing that came out of my mouth? Dave looked at me with a weird expression. “No that’s not it.” I took a deep breath. “I you like.” Fuck grammar and fuck the English language. “I like you.” I said, this time correctly because I like to believe I’m not an idiot. My face was bright red and my heart was ready to burst out of my chest. “As more than a friend.” I added… My voice was getting softer and softer and my head was spinning. Dave took a step closer to me. Fucking fucks, he wasn’t talking. He must think I’m a total loser… he probably thought that about me before. Fuck, I never had a chance did I? I’m going to kill Sollux for making me do this.

 

Dave put his hands on my shoulder… what was he doing? He leaned down… my heart was racing. He kissed me. He motherfucking kissed me. His lips came in contact with my own… VOLUNTERILY! OHMYGOGOHMYGOGOHMYGOG!! My thoughts became incoherent, my heart was now Speed Racer and my lips were gladly being kissed. I, obviously, kissed him back.

 

His heartbeat was fast I could feel it… It was too fast actually.

 

He backed away and I could feel his eyes on me. I looked a bit confused at him… something was wrong. “Karkat…” He took a deep breath… Talking was hard. What was he going to say? “I’m sorry, but we can’t be anything more than friends.” I felt my heart sink… I could only mentally scream at myself for thinking that he’d actually like me… But I also mentally screamed at him for kissing me. “I’m sorry.” He said again as if he actually meant it.

 

“It’s okay, but I’ve got to go. Sollux has been waiting for me for a while now.” I lied, Sollux probably was playing video games on his phones and it was so not okay.

 

“Yeah. Alright bye.” He said not really looking at me. “I really am sorry.” Liar.

 

“Bye.” I said plainly and went out of his room. “Lets go.” I said to Sollux who was sitting on the couch (playing on his phone… called it). “Bye Mr. Strider, bye Dirk. Thanks for the party. It was fun.”  I gave them a smile before opening the door and leaving, not even waiting for Sollux.

 

“Bye kiddo.” Dave’s bro responded.

 

“See you in school Karkat.” Dirk said. Sollux managed to catch up to me eventually.

 

“What happened?” He said with a smile, probably thinking I was excited or something when I left.

 

“Nothing.” I shrugged. “I just found out he’s more of an asshole than Gamzee and Eridan combined.” His smile faded.

 

“I’m sorry Karkat… what did he do?” I gave him a small smile.

 

“He gave me a reality check.” I turned around and kept walking. “You should go home, it’s getting pretty late.” I said without looking at him.

 

“You should too… but your home isn’t that direction.” He noted. “And neither is the bar.”

 

“Don’t worry about it.” I kept walking, leaving Sollux looking at me with a sad frown as I disappeared into the night.


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry this is the crap i'm giving you as a pitiful excuse for an update for my story... I've had a tough time finding time to write this with all of my teachers bombarding me with tests and other awful things and this plus getting sick, work and all that lovely jazz made my life very busy which kinda made my writing a sore sight to see. Pinky promise to ameliorate the shit out of this though. 
> 
> Also, I wanted to thank all of you who've sent me messages throughout the weeks! I'm so thankful to have people who actually enjoy reading what I write and I hope you all are enjoying the story (regardless of how bad its written) and thank you for your inspiring words :)

I was hiding in my secret park. Gog I was frustrated. I would be screaming right now, but Kankri or Meenah or some other idiot across the woods might hear me and try to talk to me and I just need to be alone right now. 

Why did he do that? A simple rejection would have been fine… Why did he have to toy with my feelings like that? I fucking hate him. 

I came home at a reasonable time, and basically stayed up all night in a training session with Meenah and Latula. They didn’t seem to notice the time go by and I didn’t want to sleep anymore… So it ended up being a rather positive way to spend my night. 

Sunday I basically went to Meenah and Latula’s home in the woods and spent the day practicing. I was getting the hang of it I guess. I could now control how much blood came out of my body, and how it came out of my body (I can make it seep out of my pores, out through any hole in my body or cut itself out). Meenah and Latula said we needed to figure out the extent of my power… Aranea was more than happy to give out some theories she had about me. 

When I got home I started to do chores without the stepdad ordering me to… I had nothing else to do so what the hell? I was pretty tired though. I managed to check in four hours of sleep before having another nightmare… Maybe if I over exert myself I’ll be able to sleep? I don’t know. 

At school, Dave was waiting for me outside the classroom. He had something he wanted to say, I didn’t want to listen. I simply walked passed him and sat down next to Sollux. 

“Where did you go that night?” Sollux asked… He was worried. 

“I went to a place I like going to think. I didn’t drink or do anything bad… Don’t worry.” He sighed in relief. 

“You still look like shit.” At this point the fact that I couldn’t sleep didn’t phase me anymore. 

“I know.” He looked at me trying to figure what the hell I was thinking. “I’m okay though.” I smiled, a real smile. “I’m sitting with you guys today.” He blinked a bit surprised. 

“Really?” I nodded. “I’ll make sure the idiots behave.” He seemed rather glad that I was going to spend lunch with him again. Did he miss me at the table?

"Thank you." 

At lunch I did what I said I would. I ignored Dave’s table and sat at Sollux’s table. At first it was awkward, but the morons just fucking accepted it. 

“What brings you back to our humble table Nubs?” Terezi asked, smiling insanely at me. She seemed upbeat. 

"I decided to have a switch of scenery again.” I grunted looking at the plate in front of me. 

“Did the humans get annoying?” Eridan asked. 

“No.” I replied simply. “They didn’t.” 

“So it was a simple change of heart?” Terezi frowned clearly wanting a better explanation. “Shame… Oh well. How’ve you been these past few weeks Nubby?” I cringed. I did not miss these ‘nicknames’. 

“Fine. Just fine.” I grumbled. “And how have you assholes been these past few weeks?” I decided to get them talking about their self centered selves… That’s the only fucking thing they prefer doing over insulting me. 

“Boring without you!” Terezi smiled, I blinked a bit surprised at her answer. “Who else can I lick and get away with it?” I rolled my eyes, less surprised. 

“Sollux is a good candidate for that.” I decided to shove Sollux under the bus, he needed to be run over a bit. 

“What? Fuck no!” He instantly said, earning a small satisfied smile from yours truly. 

“Go ahead Terezi… I’m pretty sure he tastes like honey.” Sollux glared at me.

“Can I really?” I could tell she was getting excited. 

“No. And don’t you fucking dare lick me either. I want no part in your slobber-fest.” She pouted. I couldn’t help but notice how Gamzee remained mostly silent… It was eerie. 

After school I went straight home and successfully avoided a conversation with Dave. Fuck him squared. 

Meenah and Latula seemed to be asleep, so I decided not to bother them; instead, I did homework: it was a fucking bore. After I finished all of the work I had this week, I cleaned the house until I became sick of doing busy work. 

I was home alone basically, dad was still at work and I wasn’t expecting anyone really. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a cup only to walk in my room and shut the door (just in case).

I imagined my blood spiking out of my body and falling into the cup, surely enough the cup was half full in seconds. I watched my hand quickly heal with a proud smirk. Fuck yeah, I heal faster than I can say Millennium Falcon. I then sat on the floor with my legs crossed and with the cup in front of me and closed my eyes. I took a deep, nervous breath. Trying to focus solely on the blood, trying to become the blood in the cup. 

I spent about twenty minutes trying to focus completely on the cup before Latula woke up. “What are you doing Grumps?” I felt a familiar weight on my shoulder. 

“Trying to become the red liquid in the cylinder made of glass.” I retorted. 

“Why would you want to do that?” She asked making me sigh and give up. 

“Wouldn’t it be fucking useful to have a liquid body you could fucking control?” I said a bit irritated. 

“Calm down Grumps. Maybe we should get Meenah or Aranea to help with the training?” She suggested. I eventually nodded. 

“Alright, but I wasted a perfectly good cup of blood.” I mumbled. 

“What? Are you a vampire now?” I couldn’t help but smirk. 

“Yes, I am. And right now I’m fucking thirsty for a small snack. I’ve always wanted to taste teal.” I rolled my eyes. 

"Ha. Ha. Very funny Grumps.” She said and soon became quiet.

“Latula?” I began to worry. 

"Why aren't you sleeping Grumps?" She asked quietly. I blinked a bit surprised that she noticed… Then again she is sleeping right beside me. 

“Don’t want to. It's a big fucking waste of time.” I lied with a shrug. “I’d rather spend my time with the cup of blood.” 

“I heard it makes great company.” Latula said sarcastically. “You should sleep sometime… You look awful.” I gave her a small smile. 

“I’ll live.” 

It was already nine forty, Meenah decided to grab Latula for a couple of rounds of Smash… I decided to watch them. Meenah was heavily crushed and pwned by Latula… It was almost too sad to watch. Meenah had said she was proud of me practicing on my own time… She also said she wanted Aranea here for the trick I wanted to do… We agreed to pick her up after school or to just practice in the forest… It depended on Aranea really. 

Dad only arrived home at one in the morning… I managed to pretend to be asleep on the couch when he came. He “woke me up” and dragged me to my bed. I laid there with my eyes closed but not daring to go to sleep.

There was blood scattered everywhere… I think most of it belonged to me… The rest I’m not really sure. I realized something rather quickly however, my blood was still moving… I was still connected to it somehow. It was rather impressive and frightening… I remember Rose using her magic on all of us for some reason… I was scared. Dave was right beside me, cradling my head with tears strolling through his eyes. Sollux was beside him, looking from Rose and Jade to me and Aradia and back to Rose and Jade. He was worried. 

“What happened?” I asked, my head was throbbing and my arm numb. Dave stiffened up a bit, and then I see a small smile on his face. 

“Thank gog you’re alive. Rose decided to turn you into an example after you questioned the principal’s motives and tried to get her to ‘snap out of it’and now Aradia is itching to fight them. What the fuck were you thinking? You have no powers Karkat… You could have died.” Dave said this all in a whisper… We were all sitting on the floor by a wall… Like hostages… Only a few -brainwashed- girls were standing at the front. I looked at my arm.. It didn’t look as bad as it sounded… It was only a minor cut. I don’t really know why Dave freaked out about this saying I could have died by this simple scratch honestly, and how did I even fall unconscious from this?

"Well I'm fine Blockhead.” I grunted sitting up. “We have to stop whatever this is.” I whispered, and strangely enough Aradia nodded, I guesd that girl has super hearing. Dave squeezed my hand and shook his head. 

“I don’t want you to get any more hurt Karkat…” I was mad… Not at Dave for worrying but at everything else. Mad because I was so powerless, and because I became a hostage, mad because nobody is willing to fight back, and mad because I can’t do anything. I boiled with rage at the injustice in the situation I was in…

A scream could be heard across the room. I covered my ears and so did Dave… I looked at the person who screamed, and then at what she screamed at. There was blood flying in midair! I couldn’t believe my eyes. I wondered who was controlling this forbidden magic. 

“Who is doing this?” Jade barked with her gun pointed at us. I did not want that gun pointed the direction it was pointed. I wanted that gun gone. Not a soul can imagine the surprise I felt when I managed to control the blood, my blood, and force Jade’s weapon up. 

This was all that was needed for a terrifyingly gruesome revolt against the brainwashed girls. 

“Karkat?” I heard someone call for me. It was hard to focus on the voice but eventually I realized it belonged to Sollux.

“Yeah?” I turned my head to look at him sitting on his desk. I saw his face… It looked worried and yet I couldn’t exactly register that fact.

“You look worse than yesterday… What’s going on?” I blinked.

“I couldn’t fall asleep, I was too excited about this new topic on alchemy. It might be something I can do.” This was a lie, I didn’t like lying to Sollux… But it didn’t really seem like this came from my lips. I felt strange… Almost like I was doing everything automatically. 

“And yesterday?” I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn’t… It was too much wasted energy… Especially since being awake was taxing enough. “Karkat?” I blinked trying to focus again on Sollux. 

“Sorry, I...” Maybe I should tell him. I’ve wanted to tell him for so long now but… He would hate me. “I don’t want to talk about this.” I said turning my head towards the front. Oh gog I was turning my back on my best friend. I wanted to get out of there. I felt sick there. That’s where I found out I could use bl… No that’s wrong. That was a dream… A nightmare. I felt horrible, I was abandoning Sollux and worrying dad…he’s asked me why I sleep on everything but my bed. I could only tell him I was exhausted from school. I’ve abandoned so many principles… Gog I’m an awful person.

“Karkat…” I closed my eyes… It was hard not to cry right now. My life basically sucks and I keep making things worse for myself. “Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?” 

“I think you’ll hate me if I do.” I said this in a whisper but I know for a fact that he heard me. “I can’t sleep anymore Sollux. The reason why… That’s what I’m afraid of.” I whispered a bit more… Could I tell him the rest? I… “And I… I-“ I can’t. My throat felt hot and stuffed, I had to keep my eyes shut and my breathing became slightly heavier. 

“Why don’t we go someplace after school and you can tell me?” I nodded silently as I rubbed my eyes and wiped tears that were forming. “And Karkat… I could never hate you.” 

The lecture was kind of ridiculously boring… What once amused me has now become tedious and old. I used to love all the different types of magic and learning about them… But now it seemed so childish and simple. I know I’ll never be able to do anything aside from blood magic… And now a dark envy replaced the hope I once had. I didn’t pay attention to the teacher… I didn’t need to. I spent my night studying all of this in advanced... I’ve even already handed in most of the work ms. Serket was going to give us. I spent most of the class doodling on my notebook as I continued to not give a fuck about the lecture. Sollux gave me a questioning look once or twice but didn’t say anything. 

At lunch Sollux acted as if nothing happened but asked where we would be going after school. I decided on the park where Jack nearly killed Dave would be best. 

It was mostly normal in my table… Vriska kept making fun of Eridan who ogled Feferi who in tern ogled Sollux who joked with Aradia who was stared at by Equius who also talked to Nepeta who started ‘shipping’ Tavros with Gamzee who stayed awfully silent as Terezi questioned me about Kanaya. Terezi just wanted to know if she’d come back to their table like I did.

“Don’t see why not, but she might not stay forever like I’m planing to.” I said tiredly. 

"Aw it looks like nubs is going to stay with us forever! That’s cute. Did the humans get on your nerves?” Vriska joked. “It’s okay little one, we’re here to protect small fry like you.” I stayed silent, too tired to talk. “What? You think you’re better than us?” I closed my eyes, supporing my head lazily with my hand on my cheek and elbow on the table. 

“Shut the fuck up.” I said calmly.

“What. Did. You. Say?” Vriska hissed taken aback by my remark. I ignored her and opened my eyes again. I looked at Gamzee, wondering why he’s not going ape shit bonkers right now, he glared right back at me. My head suddenly hurt more than usual. “Too scared to say it too my face Vantas?” I turned my head to look at her. 

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were deaf… Or maybe you’re too stupid to comprehend simple words. Let me repeat myself needlessly just for you: shut the fuck up.” The table became silent and my head hurt more than before. 

“What makes you think you can talk to us like that motherfucker?” Gamzee finally spoke… I’ll admit it was a bit scary but nothing compared to Jack. 

"What makes you think I can’t talk to you asshats like that, ‘motherfucker’?” I glared at him. Fuck this. I’m tired of being called names and I’m tired of these assholes acting superior all of the gog damn time. I was happy at Dave’s table… The humans weren’t cocky bastards ready to try crappy new insults on me. 

Gamzee stood up angrily. “I dare you to say that to my face.” I sighed and stood up walking to him and glaring. 

“What makes you think I won’t talk to you like that? Motherfucker.” I said to his face. He was enraged, everyone was silent. Gamzee raised his arm as if to punch me, which he actually attempted to… But I easily dodged the hit… I saw his blood move slowly… Maybe being a blood mage isn’t that bad. I turned my hand into a fist and hit his stomach, my newly formed muscles from all the training Meenah’s making me do packed a note worthy punch. 

Gamzee attempted to strangle me, another action I managed to dodge, and I managed to land another hit on his chest. “Fuck off.” I said coldly walking back to my seat, watching Gamzee grumble in pain.

“Karkat?” Nepeta asked wide eyed. Hell, everyone was surprised… Even Sollux.

“I’m done taking your bullshit, so stop. I’m not some defenseless little shit, stop treating me like one.” My headache started to get worse. “With that in your pathetic little minds…Bye fuckheads.” I started to walk out. I glanced at Dave sitting at his table, looking at me. I frowned and flipped him off as I walked away. 

I sat outside again, I needed fresh air… Or maybe I needed solitude. Fuck, I needed freedom from this tiring shit. My head was killing me… My back leaned tiredly against a tree and my head rested on my knees. Gog I was tired. I closed my eyes lazily, only to open them again. “Fuck this life.” I started to imagine what living with the god tiers would be like? Surely better than this. I highly doubt anyone would really miss me… Dad’s always too busy to even notice me at home and Sollux has Aradia. I could ask Jade to shrink me so that my height would match that of the god tiers… Nobody would hate me for being a blood mage and nobody would condemn me for being me. Hell, I might be able to sleep better knowing I won’t have any chance of becoming a blood monster. I’ll ask Latula if I could live with them… I think she’d say yes. I smiled. That would be nice. 

But if she said no? My smile faded. I’d be stuck here… Unless I actually ran away to someplace new. I think I’ll call that plan B. And if I didn’t make it I could always just become a dog of the government. I’m sure it’s not that bad. After a few more minutes I went to class as it would be starting soon. All of my ‘friends’ just stared at me as I walked in. 

"Still think you wouldn’t hate me?” I asked silently as I sat by Sollux. He stayed quiet. “I thought so.” 

When class ended I didn’t even wait for Sollux, he probably didn’t want to hear what I had to say anymore. I walked out the door silently, and angrily. Fuck this. 

I felt a hand on my shoulder… I actually thought for a second it was Sollux… Maybe he wasn’t scared of my anymore. It was Dave. I scoffed and kept walking. 

“Karkat… Wait.” I didn’t. “Please?” I sighed. 

“What? You want to make me even more pissed?” I glared at him. 

“No. Can we talk? Please? I promise you, if you still hate me I’ll leave you alone.” I sighed. 

“Okay.” 

He took me to a small café by the park. He ordered some coffee for him and a caramel frappuccino for me… How he knew I like those I don’t know. We sat outside under a parasol and by the small street. “So… What did you want to tell me?” I asked, a bit less agitated than before. 

“A few things really. First of all, I wanted to apologize for being an idiot.” I couldn’t help but smile a bit. At least he knew he knew he was being a dumb fuck. “Before you decide on forgiving me or not… I wanted to explain myself.” My smile faded. He was going to give excuses wasn’t he? “I shouldn’t have done what I did, I’ll admit that. But the reason I did it is somewhat simple… I was afraid.” I blinked. 

“Of what?” Honestly, I never thought I’d be scary. Maybe dating me is scary? Maybe being in a relationship was scary??

“Losing you.” I blinked almost spitting out my drink. 

“What?” I asked not really believing what he said. What did he mean by that? I told him I liked him, how the flying fuck could he think he’d ‘lose’ me?

“As just friends, you used up most of your blood to save me. What if I fail again? What if you put yourself in harms way to keep me alive? Sacrificing yourself for others is something you would do… I’m still afraid you’d die protecting another.” He said honestly. I blinked again highly confused by this. 

“Dave… I highly doubt I’ll ever be in a situation like that again…” Was I consoling him? “And I don’t think I’d be brave enough to do that again.” A small, sad smile appeared on his lips. 

“Yes, you would.” He knew something. “Can I tell you something? You can’t tell a soul about this alright? So you’d have to keep it a secret.” I nodded slowly. “Alright good.” He trusted me a bit too easily. He took a big breath before speaking again. “I’m not exactly from this timeline.” He says quietly so that only I could hear. I blinked not really understanding. 

“Are you saying you can…”

“Yes. My main element isn’t body parts… It’s time.” He said interrupting me a bit. I took a sip from my cup, trying to accept this. 

“Not saying I completely believe you… But how does it work?” I asked after a few moments. 

“I can send my mind back to the past. Well, any mind to be honest but mine is easier to pass back. I can prove it too.” 

“How?” I’ll admit to being intrigued. 

“Think of something only you would know… Maybe your favorite number? Maybe something you regret? Something not even Sollux or your dad would know.” I nodded. 

“Okay.” I said after thinking of something. 

“Now tell me.”

“When I was eight, I used to wait for ice cream to melt so that I could drink it because I thought that if I got a brain freeze I would turn to ice and die.” I said a bit embarrassed at past me. Gog he was an idiot. 

“Ready?”

“Sure.” He closed his eyes. 

…

“I can send my mind back to the past. Well, any mind to be honest but mine is easier to pass back. I can prove it too.” 

“How?” I’ll admit to being intrigued. 

“Think of something only you would know… Maybe your favorite number? Maybe something you regret? Something not even Sollux or your dad would know.” I nodded. 

“Okay.” I said after thinking of something. 

“Now let me tell you. When You were eight, you used to wait for ice cream to melt so that you could drink it because you thought that if you got a brain freeze you would turn to ice and die.” I stared at him wide eyed. “Proven?”

“Y-yeah.” I said slowly. “But… What does this have to do with me sacrificing myself or whatnot. What happened in your timeline?” 

“In my timeline… We dated. I met you during that party Eridan threw. We got to know each other better… Eventually we started becoming more than just friends. Everything was fine… And then you… Um…” He took a deep breath. “You died.” I blinked. “You died saving this school and everyone you could even though nobody would save you except Sollux and myself… And you died in my arms saving me.” My head started throbbing again. 

“I…” He could be lying, he could be making this up for some reason… But he wasn’t. At the hospital I remember him saying something along the lines of ‘I can’t loose you again’? Not to mention how he knew things about me that I’ve never told him… The frap for example. “How did I die.” I asked. 

“You used too much of your blood… More than what your body could produce.” 

“My last words… What were they?” 

“I love you.” My head started to kill me more and more. Oh fuck. Oh flying fucks. “Karkat is everything okay?” No. I was so not okay. 

“Yeah. Tell me something though, why did you kiss me if you were simply going to reject me?” I asked. 

“Because I love you, and miss being with you. I let that get the better of me.” His answer was simple and understandable but was it sincere?

“Say that, but without your shades.” The best way to tell if a person is lying is through their eyes. He hesitated. “What?” He was lying wasn’t he?

“Don’t be alarmed okay?” I frowned confused. He took of his shades. I was very alarmed. 

“Oh fuck. Holy fuck. Dave… I’m so sorry… I didn’t know I’d… I’m sorry!” My hands went to my lips in shock, cupping over my mouth. “I…”

“Don’t worry… You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not mad.” He stared at me with his red eyes. 

“Was it because of me?” I asked already knowing the answer. He nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me!?” I closed my tired eyes and used my abilities. I saw his blood clearly… It was different than before. It didn’t seem to be his. It seemed to be mine. 

“Because I knew you’d freak out.” He smiled softly. “And you might not want to do that in public Kitkat.” Could I… Force him to move? No. I won’t even try it. Oh fuck. I stopped using my element seeing his normal face again. 

“I’m so sorry.” I placed my head on my hands… This was bad. This was very bad. Oh hell. 

“You don’t need to apologize.” He said almost a bit too calm. “In fact I should be thanking you, for some reason I heal faster now and I have kick ass colored eyes… Not that anyone would notice with these shades.” I looked at him. “And Kitkat… I love you and I miss being with you.” He wasn’t lying. “Can I have another chance?” He seemed nervous. I nodded. 

“Yes. You can.” He sighed with relief putting his shades back on. 

“Then Karkat, will you go out with me?” My heart nearly stopped beating. 

“Yes. I will.” He smiled warmly at me. 

“Fuck yes.” I chuckled a bit.

"As much as I'd love to stay and continue our chat, I sadly have to go home and work." I sighed remembering I still had to do stuff with Meenah and Latula.

“Maybe you should rest a bit before then? No offense but you’d be the best looking zombie in The Walking Dead without any makeup on.” I simply rolled my eyes and stood up with my empty frappuccino cup only to throw it away. 

"It looks worse than it is.” I lied.

“Alright… Well I’ll walk you home.” He didn’t sound convinced of my lie… Thankfully he didn’t comment on that. 

“You really don’t have to you know…” He stood up and grabbed my hand. 

“I know.” He smiled warmly and threw his cup away, pulling me with him as he walked. 

The walk home was pretty nice… But there was something nagging at me like a fucking old hag with a fowl as fuck voice perfect for scarring little children off the hag’s yard. My last words, according to Dave, were the same as in my dream… And the conditions in which I died were the same… I remember Dave comforting me in the hospital, saying whatever I was dreaming wouldn’t come true… Did he know?

What’s worse is what if all of my dreams were from that time? Was I really a fucking murderer in Dave’s timeline? A failure that couldn’t even fucking save his friends from himself let alone whatever the fuck was controlling them… 

The walk home was agonizingly slow and fast. As much as I wanted to keep talking to Dave I wanted desperately to stop thinking about this and the best way is with Meenah and Latula’s training regime. When we finally reached my apartment, I invited Dave in but thankfully he refused. 

“Alright, well I’ll maybe see you tomorrow.” I said leaning on the door frame, reluctant to let go of his hand. 

“Maybe?” He raised a brow. I simply shrugged. 

“I don’t think I want to go to school tomorrow… Or any day really. It’s a big fucking waste of time.” Honestly I was hoping I could just spend that time practicing with Meenah and Latula… I had to get better to prevent my dreams from coming true. 

"Alright... Well, if you decide not to come... Try to rest up okay?" I nodded. He slowly and regrettably let go of my hand. “Bye Kitkat, love you.”

“Bye Dave, I have strong emotional affections for you too Asshat.” I heard him chuckle lightly as he left. 

“The fuck was that about?” I heard Meenah behind me. “Whatever, are you ready to go to the forest or are you going to stall longer?”

“No. Let’s just fucking go.” I sighed rolling my eyes. “Are we still going to practice that weird shit I tried to do?” I asked opening the door. 

"Maybe. I’ve decided you’re going to spar Latula today.” Meenah said casually sitting on my shoulder, Latula smiled and joined her. 

“Have you forgotten how fucking big I am compared to you imps?” I said a bit confused as I locked the door and left towards the forest. 

“Nope. You’ll sea.” Meenah said ominously. I stayed silent wondering what they had in store for me…

“Hey guys, tell me a story.” I was hoping they could get my mind off everything that it was currently on.

“Have I ever told you about that one time when Kankri and Aranea had an argument?” Latula asked. 

“Oh gog. That sounds like either the worst or the best fucking thing.” Latula laughed and proceeded to tell of her wondrous experience as a listener of two scholars arguing about what seemed to be whether pens or pencils were better. 

Eventually we reached the forest and their home, yet Latula had yet to finish the detailed explanation of the argument which was ironically hilarious. 

“Then he started to say pens were triggering and…” 

“Latula…” Meenah said in between giggles. “We sadly have a troll to train.” 

“You’re right, I’ll finish this some time later.” Meenah smiled and flew away somewhere. 

“So much for training me.” I huffed. 

“Don’t worry, she’s grabbing Porrim.” I raised a brow… A bit confused as to why they are dragging someone else into my training. 

It turns out Porrim has a similar ability as Jade… I was now facing a normal not fairy sized Latula who had a smirk on her face. Meenah abandoned me to fend for myself against this savage beast so she could chat with Aranea. I had my ass handed to me several times before I manage to last a minute against this karate chopping maniac. She must be the offspring of Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee because HOLY HOT HELL she was far too good to be a simple  
Black belt. 

I first had tried a simple easy punch, not wanting to hurt her, but she dodged grabbing my arm and painfully bending it behind me. “Try again.” She smirked. 

“Fucking fine.” I went for a harder, faster punch that quickly retracted for a second quick punch… She simply dodged the first and punched me in my gut. I coughed immediately, feeling a sharp pain where her small fingers pounded my skin. 

“You should consider using your red eyes… That might help with knowing where your enemy attacks.” I frowned, not liking the idea of using a handicap and loathing the fact that I needed one. I sighed and closed my eyes, only to open them and see her weird ass turquoise blood. “Now that’s a good Grumps.” I groaned and tried a fast roundhouse… It was blocked. 

After two hours or so I managed to punch her twice… Not even strong enough to bruise. Fucking astounding. It started raining mid practice, making my falls not only painful as fuck but gross and muddy. “Grumps you are really bad at this.” She said helping me to my feet. “No wonder Jack kicked your ass.” I frowned again. “Don’t worry, we’ll change that. Let’s go again.” This was starting to feel like a fucking boot camp. 

“Actually it’s time for blood magic practice.” I almost fucking cheered. My whole body ached, I think I was bleeding too and all of my skin was black and blue. “Aranea had a few ideas as to what you could do with your blood.”

“Okay cool, what do we start with?” I said ignoring my sore muscles. 

“First we need some blood.” Easily, I took out a string of blood from my body. Meenah ended up making my do more muscle activities… Trying to see if I could still move my blood easily while lifting things or running… At first it was hard and tedious, then it was irritable to the point where I started wondering why we didn’t just fucking do what I was trying to do last night and them it became simply tedious. The whole process of getting my mind to focus on two things at once was arduous and annoying but at least I wasn’t fighting the Black Belt Beast. 

It started thundering soon… Meenah decided I should head home before all hell falls from the sky and she asked me to come back tomorrow. I contemplated running for the hills after today. 

As I was walking home, dead tired, beat up and cold, I noticed something dark being outlined by the mixture of moonlight and street light… Jack. It was quite dark and the rain was strong… I highly doubt he could see me or smell me (if he could do that with his weird ass dog nose). Regardless, he was there, on the top of a building looking down and searching for something. I was silent, my heart was beating by far too fast. I willed myself to move slowly and silently away from Jack but then I noticed something… Jack wasn’t on the roof anymore… He was in the air. I gulped nervously and felt myself shake… He was looking at me. I took in a deep breath, turned around and ran.

I had no idea on the time but by the simple fact that all of the shops were closed and there was hardly a soul in the street it was pretty late. I glanced behind me, Jack was closing in the difference. Frantically I forced myself to run faster and tried to grab my phone from my pocket.

I managed to call Dave before tripping and falling on my face like the graceful motherfucker I am. I quickly turned around only to see Jack in front of me. I cursed under my breath, tired and angry. 

“The fuck do you want asshat?” I asked impatiently forcing myself to my feet. The last time I met with Jack, the only reason I survived was probably because Jack was surprised with my unique ability; now however, the chances of surprising him were slim at best… Regardless, I wasn’t going to let myself die. 

Jack stayed silent, hovering on the air in front of me. His expression was stone cold and his body rigid. His dark raven wings working restlessly to keep him afloat and his single hand gripped the sword with brute strength. His dark skin seemed to almost blend with the night, only leaving his bright white eyes to stand out. He was frightening, even if I was on equal grounds with such a strength he was frightening. One of his ears twitched, causing me to instinctively enter a more fight appropriate stance. I thought I had seen him laugh. He raised his sword and I drew my sickles ready to fight, yet much to my surprise he stabbed himself sheathing his weapon. 

“What?” I will admit to being dumbfounded. I put my own weapons away and took a slight step back, confused as fuck. “You’re not here to fight are you?” It shook it’s head. “Then why-“ my head suddenly started to ache once more. “Fucking hell.” I whispered, most likely glaring at him. He quirked his head to the right, staring back at me with those blank eyes of his. “What do you want Jack?” He blinked, most likely surprised I know his name. He stayed silent, observing me. “I’m… I’m just going to grab my phone real quick alright?” I slowly bent down, hoping the damage to this old nokia was minimal… Holy hell it seemed Dave was on the other end of the call, listening. This might make my chances of survival heighten, or at least my cause of death easier to identify. 

I slowly stood up, ready to start bullshitting Jack and stalling hopefully long enough for me to hatch up a plan to get the fuck out of here… But he was gone. I immediately put the phone to my ears and started trotting home. 

“Dave?” I asked, my voice hoarse. 

“I’m here Kitkat. Is he gone?” I nodded. “Karkat?”

“Oh right. Yes. He’s gone.” I suppose Dave couldn’t really see my nod through the phone. Pity really, that was one fucking stellar nod. 

“Where are you? I’m coming to pick you up.” I opened my mouth.. “Don’t even think about saying no.” 

“Between Checkerwood Drive and Broken Dream Boulevard.” I sighed taking a seat on the curb. “You really don-“

“Alright just hold on tight I’ll be there soon. Call your dad, you’re sleeping over. See you soon.” The fucker hung up! Not even letting me say no. Jackass. Strangely enough I couldn’t help but smile. I called my dad and told him I was at Dave’s and probably won’t go to school tomorrow and not surprisingly he didn’t care. 

Strangely enough I felt like there was someone staring at me, watching my every move… Could Jack still be around? I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, using my red eyes I couldn’t detect an ounce of blood anywhere. As reassuring as that was, I still had an ominous feeling that refused to leave.


	4. IV

Soon I saw a car pull up next to where I was seated so I got up and opened the door. This whole day I’ve been running on adrenaline and caffeine but now that I had calmed down and now that my body had digested the caffeine, I hadn’t enough energy to even properly talk. “Hey.” I whispered sitting down. I felt a bit bad sitting down on his clean car with my muddy ass but I was so ridiculously tired that I disregarded the feeling completely. 

“Holy fuck Karkat.” Dave stared at me… Or at least I thought he was staring. “You look awful… worse than earlier today. What happened?” I closed the door and put on the seat belt. 

“Practice.” I said drowsy. “I was learning how to properly fight I guess.” I shrugged. 

“What the fuck kind of practice were you in?” He started driving back. 

“Thanks for the ride.” I yawned feeling a bit dizzy. 

“No problem.” I looked at him as he drove. His lips were pressed tight against each other, his movements were swift and he seemed focused. 

“You’re really fucking pretty.” I mumbled, honestly too tired to filter my thoughts properly. “Can I take a shower when we get home? I mean to your house.” 

“Sure.” His face seemed redder for some reason. It was cute. “I was actually going to force a shower on you to be honest. I can join if you’d like.” He smirked. 

“W-what?” My mind was far too exhausted to properly process this. “I-I…”

“That, my dear Karkat, is what they call a flirtatious joke.” He chuckled softly. “I’ll see if I have some old clothes that might fit you.” I nodded tiredly closing my eyes.

“Kitkat? Wake up. We’re here.” I groaned opening my eyes. Did I pass out again? I think I did… Oh crap. I yawned again and rubbed my eyes unbuckling my seat belt. I was about to open the door but it opened on its own… I stared a bit with awe until I realized it was Dave who opened it for me, than I just felt dumb as fuck. I got out of the fancy car and went into Dave’s apartment with him. “Wait here I’ll go get some stuff for you.” I simply nodded again. 

After a few minutes I just sat down on the floor, hugging my legs and laying my head on my knees. I started playing with my sleeves until I heard a sound behind me. I started to turn my head, but soon found myself jumping scared with a weird ass puppet staring right at me. I blinked once, twice, and thrice it was gone. I took a deep breath and sat back down wondering what the fuck I just saw. It looked orange… No it had orange? Its teeth were freaky and it had a hat… Cal? I think I read that somewhere on the puppet. 

I turn back around and freak out again. The puppet was staring at me with those creepy eyes and with that creepy smile. And just like before it vanished as I blinked. “Dave?” I asked in a whisper. 

“Yeah?” I hear a voice across the hall. “I can’t seem to find a shirt that would fit you Kitkat, would you mind wearing one of mine?” 

“Th-that’s fine Dave. Really. Can I just take my shower now?” I said forcing myself not to use my red eyes (that’s kind of what I decided to call them since all I can see are different shades of red with them). 

“Sure.” Dave appeared back here rather quickly. “You okay man?” I nodded. “Alright… Well here’s the stuff you can use for the shower. Did you have anything to eat?” 

“No…” I said realizing I was hungry. 

“Cool. I’ll make you something to eat.” I opened my mouth. “I know I don’t have to, but I want to. I’m actually hungry myself.” I stared at him a bit awestruck but realized we probably had a similar conversation in a different timeline. 

"Okay... Thanks. I’ll go uh… Un-stink-ify myself now.” I said giving him a tired smile. I took a hopefully short shower… I honestly don’t know. All I know is that I made my skin go from charcoal black to baby pink red from all of the scrubbing I did. Hell, I was probably the most clean I’ve ever been. I was thankful Dave lent me some pjs… I didn’t want to see my mud-ridden clothes ever again. I folded up my dirty ass clothes and the towel I had used and took them out with me. 

“I almost forgot the color of your skin underneath all of that dirt.” He teases… I rolled my eyes. 

“Can I borrow your wash?” 

“Nah its cool man. I got you.” He took all of my filthy fabric stuff and went somewhere. 

“But… Okay. Thank you.” I’ve learned by now that there is no such thing as saying no to Dave. I stood there awkwardly, trying very hard not to ponder too much over everything. Honestly, my life was a mess… everything was a mess… I resorted to looking for the awful monstrosity of a puppet that was popping everywhere. 

“Looking for something?” Dave asked me, drawing my attention to him. 

“No.” I shrugged… I mean… why the fuck would he not think I’m deranged if I told him I was looking for a weird ass puppet and not because I’m imagining things or maybe because the events of the day had rattled me, but because I was too afraid to think: thinking was bad.

“Right… well I made us some noodles… it turns out that’s all we had food-wise in the kitchen. I hope you don’t mind.” He seemed a bit embarrassed at that…

“What do you keep in your kitchen?” He motioned for me to sit at one of the seats on the table. I sat, my tired legs beyond grateful for the small amount of rest the chair had blessed them with. 

“My bro stashes all of his weapons in the fridge.” He mumbled, almost inaudible. I stared shell-shocked at him for a few moments before laughing. “Shut up.” I could only keep laughing. Of fucking course that’s what he’d have on his fridge.

“It’s fine.” I said in between chuckles. “I didn’t want to eat anything heavy anyways.” He gave me a smile and placed a plate of noodles in front of me… It wasn’t just noodles… it was literally the only non fuck-up-able noodles in the planet: ramen noodles. Regardless of its simplicity, I took the plate gratefully and took one bite awkwardly realizing the last meal I had was the Frap with Dave and before that only a glass of milk. My stomach relished the sustenance it has been deprived of for… hours? Days? I actually had no idea when the last time I had a descent meal was. 

“Karkat?” Dave must have noticed my silence as I stared at the plate. For some reason I felt frustrated with myself.

“Sorry, I guess I’m not really that hungry.” I wasn’t sure if that was a lie or not. Despite what I said, I tried to force myself to eat. 

“Bro…” My mind suddenly thought of Jack.

“If you’re from the future, why did you let Jack attack you like that?” I asked him, rudely changing the subject. I started to realize that the hospital visit made no sense. “I don’t want to have to see you die again.” Dave has said that to me… all he had to do was avoid Jack and that incident would never have happened… 

Dave stayed silent for a few moments, worrying me plenty. I instantly wished I could have unasked my questions, but frankly I’m not the one who can go back in time… I wonder how many time’s he’s done that. How many times has he saved his ass from trouble?

“I… I fucked up.” He admits in silence. “Jack…” He looks down at his almost empty plate. “…he… he wasn’t supposed to be here… not yet.” I stare at him. “He was… created… in my timeline’s future and somehow came back with me.” I blinked. “It makes no sense.” He started cursing under his breath.

“Oh.” Pathetic. That’s all I could say. I followed his example and cursed myself. 

“So many lives he’s taken… innocent lives that would still be alive if it hadn’t been for me.” I looked up at Dave… my heart was aching for him… and for a moment all I could offer was a sympathetic stare.

“You came back trying to save lives Dave and you didn’t bring Jack with you. Jack came on his own accord… he could have done that any time if he so wished.” I tried logic with him.

“I guess you’re right.” He said with a weak smile. I opened my mouth, ready to console him but he spoke before I could. “Anyways, you done?” I looked at my plate; I barely touched it aside from that first bite. I felt a sense of guilt rise considering he put effort, as minimal as it might be, into making this and I just set it aside.

“No. I’m getting hungry.” I started to eat again, forcing the food to settle quietly inside my stomach. Dave waited patiently, probably annoyed with my turtle speed. We were in silence when I finished; he took my plate and said if I didn’t mind I could just use his toothbrush. I didn’t mind. 

“Mind if we share my bed?” I shook my head, interested in sharing a bed with Dave. The last time ended in a complete disaster with me nearly inhaling my drugs into nonexistence and deciding not to ever sleep again… but now… just the thought made my heart beat faster.

“No.” I said lamely, perfectly hiding my contempt with the situation.

“Sweet, I’m just going to take a shower first. You can go ahead and sleep if you’d like.” I nodded, slightly disappointed. “Goodnight sweetie.” He casually lifted his shades, blinked at me, and put his shades back down where they belonged. My heart galloped inside my chest and I gave him a shy smile.

“Goodnight.” My smile faded when he went inside the bathroom. I went to his room and sat on his bed, which was admittedly big. I sighed. Thinking was bad, it recently always lead to negative thoughts and realizations I didn’t want to acknowledge… but sleeping was worse.

Sleeping meant nightmares, no exceptions. There would be bodies piled on top of bodies in my head whenever I closed my eyes for longer than a minute. My worst fears came into reality whenever I dreamed… I was always revealed to be a monster… and I always ended up relishing the dreams in which I was dying, the more blood that left my horrible body the happier I woke up and this fact already left me miserable enough.

I laid down, taking up as little amount of space as I could not really wanting to inconvenience Dave even more… It’s impressive really, how easy it was for me to forgive him. I could remember being aggravatingly angry with him… How could I let a simple excuse forgive the heinous feelings he had given me? But then again I should be grateful he even cared enough to apologize in the first place after all, after all: who would want to date me?  
I was as pathetic as pathetic can be; even my best friend discarded me after years of dealing with my shit. I fucked things up with him… And oh gog, I must have hurt Gamzee… What was I thinking? What the fuck was I thinking? Gamzee was my friend; horrible as he may be he was still my friend. And then there’s Jack… His white soulless eyes still haunt and captivate me. Why didn’t he just kill me? He would have been doing the world a favor… But instead he just observed me: curious and interested… Maybe he knows what I truly was? The moment he saw me, as a blood mage, must have been the moment he knew I was a monster at heart.

“Karkat?” I heard Dave’s voice. I forced myself to stop sulking at my own misery and looked at Dave, anchoring myself up with my elbows. He was standing there, his shades were off and his hair was wet with water droplets falling onto his bare chest. I couldn’t help myself from blushing; disgusted that someone like me was with someone like him. He frowned. 

“Hey.” I tried to sound tired, but it scared me to realize that I didn’t have to try. I was exhausted, that much was apparent. Considering how little I slept it shouldn’t have come as a surprise, nonetheless it was. Dave walked over to me and sat beside me, forcing me to scoot over a bit to make room. He placed a hand on my face, brushing my cheek with his thumb.

“Why are you crying?” His stare was calm and patient. I was crying? For some reason, that realization only made me cry more and again, the word pathetic rings inside my head.

“I- I’m n- I’m not sure.” I had no right to cry, with all of the damage I’ve done to everyone… but then again with all of the damage done to me perhaps I did have a reason. I wasn’t sure anymore. I closed my eyes, hating myself more and more for putting Dave in this situation.

“Shhh…” His voice was soothing. “It’s okay Karkat. You can tell me anything… you know that right?” Oh gog, I was going to lie to him too wasn’t I? I can’t possibly tell him about my nightmares… I was going to lose him again. “But only when you’re ready.” He added almost as though he was readying my mind. He gave me a kiss, calming my heart more than it should. Only then did I realize the proximity of Dave. He was right there in front of me, wearing nothing but boxers and kissing me. “Karkat?” He said letting go of the kiss, only to chuckle a bit seeing my dumbfounded face. 

He was somehow towering over me now, kissing me once more. One of his hands found itself on one of my own, the other pushing me back down on the bed. It felt gloriously hot inside as energy I didn’t know I had burst into little fireworks. Dave’s touch left a frenzy of tingling on my skin. He lifted himself again, his red eyes staring at me, but with what emotion I don’t know, and yet for some reason that simply made my heart flutter more. 

“I know was really shitty to you that day, being an ass and a douchebag… and I can’t tell you how sorry I am.” I didn’t know what to say.

“It’s alright.” I wasn’t sure on the truth of that sentence, hell I wasn’t sure about anything anymore. I felt his knees gently touching my sides pressing against me softly, the ecstatic feeling made me shiver but not without thinking ‘what the hell was wrong with me’. And much to my dismay, the pressure left my sides and Dave laid down beside me, leaving me shivering and flushed. 

“You should get some sleep.” It was hard to focus on anything he had to say… Honestly I didn’t know why I was so aroused by this happening, all Dave really did was give me a simple kiss… admittedly half naked but a simple kiss nonetheless.

“Okay.” I was reluctant. Despite my sudden burst of good mood, sleeping was still a sore thought. Dave must have noticed my dismay at the thought of resting.

“You’ve had a long day haven’t you? Are you alright?” He asked me.

“Yeah, Jack didn’t really hurt me.” I shrugged.

“That’s not what I meant.” I blinked, turning my head only to be awed by his intense stare. My heart, after finally starting to calm down, fluttered violently again. “You punched Gamzee today and Sollux stopped talking to you from what I could see. Not to mention you had to deal with me this afternoon and some weird ass training that managed to get you ridiculously dirty and bloodied… Admittedly your cuts vanished as usual but nonetheless… Then there was that whole weird ass meeting with Jack and to top off your already shitty day you’ve had to deal with me again.” I realized I did have a long day, yet another thing I refused to think about. Stress started to boil inside me and I could feel round two of tears coming out. “Hey, it’s okay.” I felt an arm wrap around me, drawing me closer to the owner. I almost laughed at how in a split second Dave made me go from agonizingly stressed to flustered beyond belief. What was wrong with me?

“I-“ I honestly didn’t know what to say, so instead I leaned my head close to him. “I’m not.” I finally answered his question. “I’m not alright, I mean.” My voice was reduced to a mere whisper. 

“I figured as much. Still, you don’t have to tell me anything unless it’s to your own volition. Okay?” I nodded and he pulled me even closer. “Is there anything I can do to help?” I stayed silent for a while.

“Could you tell me a story?” I closed my eyes, not really intent on sleeping but I don’t think I could bear another moment with them open.

“There once was a young boy, fascinated by crows. He lived secluded from the world, his family being the only other people he’s ever seen. They lived in a small house near a village somewhere, close enough to always have some sort of supplies but far enough to not make any interactions with anyone. That is, until one day they had to move to the city. The boy was at first revolted by the manner in which the city folk acted; he had to perfect a façade in order to blend in, to hide all of the anger of moving to some awful place only to be part of that place.”

“How sad.” I whispered, becoming more and more drowsy with each word said.

“It’s okay, the boy managed to make some friends eventually, friends who have been by his side for many years and many more to come. The city life started to grow on him, his accent started to slip away and his façade was perfected. One day however, he met an outlier, someone who was unlike anyone he’s ever met before. This new stranger was alone, just as alone as he once was and yet the stranger didn’t seem to mind, in fact the boy was almost positive said stranger relished being so alone and distant. And then the stranger, much to the boy’s surprise, angrily -so angry the boy was almost scared- lifted himself and ran somewhere just out of the boy’s line of sight. Of course, the boy followed, only to find the outlier lying on the road unconscious.” There was a brief silence. “At first the boy was confused as to what had happened until he realized something awful: the outlier was covered in blood. There was a car parked not too far off and the driver was frantically going to the stranger, the boy was astounded and could only wonder what had driven the strange outlier to do such a deed… It turns out that angelic outlier had saved a frail woman by taking her place. There was only silence as the outlier’s blood stained the ground he was on, and yet despite the horrible thing that had just happened to him… the stranger opened his eyes and stood up carefully. He smiled at the driver and the lady, glad that they were fine and simply went back to their previous, lonely spot covered in blood. Since then, the outsider fascinated the boy.” 

By the end of Dave’s story, I was closer to being asleep then awake. My consciousness heard only one more whisper of goodnight before quitting. That night I had no dreams.

I woke up silently, without a single nightmare. At first I thought I was about to be in a nightmare, that maybe this was the nightmare… only after a few minutes of silence with the lack of screams and cries did I flutter my eyes open. I screamed.

I backed out of the bed, falling on my back horrified and bringing Dave’s covers with me. The fucking puppet was right there. I placed a shaking hand back on the mattress, using it to help me stand up. Sure enough the puppet was gone, instead there was a note written in red ink where Dave previously slept. 

“Dearest Kitkat, “ it read, “I’m sadly probably still in school. You should consider staying in bed, last time I checked you seemed feverish. If you don’t really feel like staying here though, I placed some fresh clothes on the table on the other side of the room and with it there’s a towel if you want to take a shower. I made sure to leave you some breakfast but if you want something else just check the fridge (careful not to hurt yourself with a blade or something though). Love, Dave. Ps: I still have your pills, I left them by the clothes.” I smiled softly, any resentment I might have still felt left and was readily replaced with admiration. 

I decided that I didn’t really want to shower just yet, so instead I graciously took the clothes Dave laid out for me and replaced my PJs with them only to find another note. “Ps2: you look adorable when you sleep.” My face flashed bright red and I stuffed the paper in my pocket alongside the returned pills. I went to the bathroom to wash my face and borrow Dave’s hairbrush. My eyes caught site of the mirror and I couldn’t help but blush. Dave’s clothes were a bit bigger than I expected them to be, and yet I loved seeing myself in them. 

The pants were obviously skinny jeans and probably tight ones, explaining why they almost fit. The long sleeve shirt was red with a kickass design of a black gear on the front; sadly it was at least two sizes bigger than what I would wear… I didn’t care though: I was smiling. 

I walked to the kitchen and found the breakfast Dave had made me: pancakes and bacon. They were still mildly warm and there was another note by them. “Bon appetite!” I blushed again, smiling at his silliness. I sat down and began to devour the food left for me, draining it down with apple juice (he left a cup of it beside the plate). Only when I was finished did I notice the puppet sitting across from me, another note on him. Dave? It was Dave all along that was fucking with me? 

Angrily, I picked up the note and read it. “Hey lil man. Mind coming up to the roof? I have some things I need to discuss with you. Bring the puppet.” Okay, that was not Dave at all. 

I looked at the time, 11:25 am, classes had started long ago and they would end a while in the future. I sighed, there was no logic in going to school now… I brushed my teeth quickly, washed the dishes and went up the flight of stairs I had noticed last night. I opened the door to what seemed like the room of this establishment, only to be blinded by the piercing sun. Tightening my grip on the puppet, I saw Dave’s older brother sitting on the middle of the roof. 

“Hey.” He said calmly, not even looking at me. “Glad you came.” He tapped the spot beside him, obviously motioning for me to sit with him. I sighed and did as he motioned. He turned his head to face me, he looked much like Dave, but older. 

“What did you want to see me about?” I asked, gulping a bit anxiously. 

“Thank you.” I stared at him wondering what I could have possibly done to receive a thank you. “You saved my kid’s life.” I blinked. 

“O-of course not! He was really only unconscious… All I did was run from Jack…” I lied. He couldn’t know… Could he?

“Considering how much my brother loves you, I highly doubt the reason for his safe return was because he was careless enough to be nocked out. He would chose from flight or fight, and since it was you there he’d chose flight. ‘Course it didn’t end up working out like he planned so he fought till he was almost killed. Am I wrong?” I stayed silent. How could he know? I felt my fists clench. I’m knee deep in shit at this point. “You saved him with-“ 

“Please don’t say it.” I whispered. He seemed a bit saddened by my reaction. “I promise I wouldn’t hurt him ever… And I’m not some monster! I’m not what they say I am.” I said that, but as of late I found myself hard to believe. 

“You saved him with blood magic Karkat, that’s all there is to it. That monster crap? I say it’s superstition.” I looked surprised at him. Wasn’t he scared of what I could do?

“Did he tell you?” I was a bid desperate now… If Dave didn’t tell him than it must be obvious to the world as to what I am…

“No. I made connections.” My heart sank. “It didn’t make any sense until I caught a glimpse of Dave’s eyes, blood red. Gotta say, I would have never guessed if it wasn’t for his eyes.” I felt me spirit rise a bit. “Don’t worry, I’m not gunna report you or some shit like that.” I managed a weak smile. The more people who knew my secret, the less likely it will stay a secret… I suppose Dave’s brother is trust worthy though. “Thanks, for giving my idiot brother a second chance.” He said after a long silence. “That’s the second thing I needed to talk to you about. He does care for you and whatever bullshit was running through his head that night, trust me when I say it’s gone.” 

“Did you talk to him?” Dave’s brother nodded. 

“He needed someone to set him straight.” I smiled softly. “You’re a good kid Karkat, I can see why he’s so fond of you.” A sudden blush rises to my face. 

“Thank you Mr. Strider.” My voice was somehow a whisper now. 

“Just call me Bro.” I glanced at him, no wonder Dave looked up to him. He was quite ridiculously badass in every sense of the word, yet he was also reasonable and kind as I can see now. I nodded at him and looked down to the tiny people bellow us. Gog we were way up high… I’m pretty sure not even I, with my mega healing abilities, could survive a fall from such a height. “I still have one more thing I need to say before letting you leave.” I looked at him wondering what other lectures he had for me. 

“Yes?” My voice was but a mere mumble. 

“Can I have Cal back?” I was confused for a few good seconds before I realized he meant this awful puppet. Gladly, I handed the monstrosity to him. “Thank you kindly. Do you have your weapons on you?” I nodded carefully, uncertain as to what the hell he was thinking right now. “Good.” He said smirking, drawing out a blade and standing up easily. His next movement baffled me; the sharp blade came falling down nearly hitting me as I dodged backwards. I stood up looking at him with a very displeased frown. 

“The fuck is wrong with you?” I whisper drawing out my sickles. In a matter of a second he was in front of me. 

“I don’t really appreciate the worry you caused my lil bro when you were in the hospital. And clearly trouble’s attracted to you just as much as Dave is so I figured I’d toughen you up.” I was utterly baffled… Latula was Karate champion but he was the king of blades… Could I handle him the same way I handled Latula (which admittedly was a mixture between embarrassingly bad and stupendously horrid)? With Latula I had to use my red eyes but we were out in public- no wait, we weren’t. The roof was secluded.

I dodged another attack before closing my eyes, only to open them and reveal pure red orbs. Bro’s movement was ridiculously fast, his sword nearly caught my neck several times and I figures the only reason I wasn’t dead was because he didn’t want me to be. I glared at him, his movement wasn’t as predictable as Gamzee’s, and in fact it was fucking nuts. Hell, I’m not sure even Latula could deal with this. 

Suddenly I felt something soft hit me hard, the fucking puppet. Don’t tell me this idiot actually fought with the fucking puppet? I stumbled back a bit, expecting another hit…one I managed to dodge by keeping at a constant movement. I kept on dodging, not once striking back… Hell I couldn’t fucking see jack shit, only certain traces of red moving here and there. Bro was clearly using his element on me but how the fuck was I going to use mine on him?

I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I suddenly stopped and let him hit me. Fuck it hurt, but I managed to get some of my blood on his fucking stupid puppet. Frowning, I tried to focus on that blood as I continued to dodge. I took in a deep breath and tried to get the blood to move the puppet in hopes of hitting Strider Sr. 

“Smart move kid.” I heard Bro’s voice. “I see you’re a fast learner.” I couldn’t help but smile softly at his compliment as I dodged yet another blow. Funny enough, his movement began to move even more chaotically and he started to get faster. Dodging became harder and I couldn’t force Cal to move with my blood. I gritted my teeth and attempted to move my blood from the puppet to Bro but he was moving far too fast… I started to feel myself get dizzy the more I tried to move my blood around, with the speed he was moving at it was hard to focus on anything. He was beyond my league and that truly mortified me. How the fuck was I supposed to beat him? 

Hell, I’m sure he could have easily destroyed Jack, and maybe even Latula…if I couldn’t even handle either of them even with my extremely volatile element then how was I supposed to beat him? I… I can’t. Enraged at how pathetic this was I decided to draw out some blood. I was tired of running around aimlessly trying to avoid every single attack and miserably failing. If he wanted to attack me, so be it. 

I somehow managed to see him coming to my left and by summoning a shit ton of my blood in that direction I managed to block his move. I tried to grab his sword, and for a while it worked. I glared through the blood and grabbed the sword, feeling my fingers get cut painfully as I tightened my grip and pulled it forward with the assistance of the blood surrounding it. After a bit of a struggle Bro abandons his sword, allowing me to take it from him. I put my sickles back where they belonged and held the sword by its hilt now, my fingers fully healed. I had now lost site of Bro… Sometimes I would catch a glimpse of red as he moved around but honestly I was beyond blind right now. I sighed: this was getting pointless. I dropped the blade, not really needing it since I disarmed him too and since it proved to have no advantage over Bro. 

I let the blood flow around me, feeling the puppet hit me sometimes. I needed to think...how the hell could I beat him? I frowned again, getting exhausted from the amount of blood I’ve let myself use. Gog this was pointless, I wouldn’t be able to beat him even if I was some expert in fighting like Latula, which I’m not. “You win.” I mumbled tiredly, drawing my blood back inside my body weakly. 

“S’not how it works kid.” I bit my lip angrily; how the fuck does it work then?? I felt a sharp pain at the back of my neck caused by the fucking stupid puppet. I immediately sent blood after that fucking irritating and creepy ass piece of fabric shit. If I managed to grab that hideous monstrosity it was going to get a one way ticket to shred land as I was going to fucking tear it’s limbs into pieces…just like a monster. I suddenly lost any and all will to even fight. “Kid?” I barely noticed him coming towards me as I entered a trance. 

"Yeah?" I whispered softly, trying to focus on Bro in hopes of maybe ignoring the voice in the back of my head that laughs wickedly calling me a monster.

“How about you and I practice some more sometime?” Practice? He was calling him massacring me practice? I stared at him for a silently long time holding back the scream of profanity I badly wanted to let go. 

“Sure.” I managed a weak nod before he ruffled my hair. Gog, he was worse than my dad! At lead that fucker gave me tasks I could actually accomplish! 

“Want me to drive you to school?” I blinked. “S’almost over, Dave’s sure to come out soon.” He smirked; I stared at him for a bit before managing a tired nod. He took me back downstairs and eventually to the car. 

“Thanks.” I put on the seatbelt, not really sure what I was thanking him for. 

“Don’t sweat it.” He ignited the car and began the silent drive to school. “Want to wait in the car?” He asked as soon as he pulls over.

“No thank you.” I said politely, holding back the “fuck no” I wanted to yell at him. “I don’t want to keep you from your normal schedule any longer.” Bro stared at me for a silent while and then smirked. 

“I like you kid, don’t get me wrong, but you can come up with a better excuse than that.” I stiffened blushing a bit embarrassed at how easily he saw through my lie. “Want to try again?” I was left dumbfounded for a good while before shaking my head. 

“Maybe some other time.” He kept his smirk and nodded while I closed the door. 

“See ya lil man.” He waved a small goodbye and drove away quickly, leaving me alone in the entrance to the school. I looked at my phone to spot the time, there were forty minutes left until school ended. I sighed displeased with how fucking slow father time was being. 

I ended up sitting by the tree on the hill near the school, the one where Dave first talked to me. I leaned on the trunk and pulled my knees to my chest, fastening them inside the circle my arms made. I checked the time again, thirty-seven minutes left. I groaned unhappily and laid my head on my knees, closing my eyes…

…only to open them again and check the time anxiously. Thirty-five minutes left. I went back to my previous position, this time staying there. I started to wonder if maybe I should just go over to Latula and Meenah but I didn’t want to get Dave’s clothes dirty. I decided that today I’d take the car there, at least getting to the park from my house would be faster that way. I also decided to avoid Bro at all costs from here on out. I started to plan the rest of my day until I heard a sound, awakening me from my sane thoughts: the school bell had rung. 

Strangely enough I was filled with panic. I just realized that the chances of Dave seeing me were probably equal to those of every one fucking else too…including Sollux and CO. I panicked even more when I started seeing kids piling out of the school, at first scattered about but soon en mass. I stood up weakly and decided that maybe behind a tree was a very good place to hide after all. 

Then I had a brilliant idea; my red eyes were basically the most useless shit when it came to looking at anything that didn’t have blood… which meant that I could literally see blood from across a wall or something (so long as it wasn’t too far away). I figured that wonderful piece of information while in practice with Latula a few days ago…who knew I’d be using it for saving my ass from socialization? I looked at the branch that probably very poorly hid me from wondering eyes and closed my eyes calmly and opened them again only to see faint traces of red. He kept looking for a specific one, one that radiated a dark red color matched only by his own. 

After a few minutes I gave up, letting my eyes return to normal and plopping down on the grass field… Satisfied that nobody noticed him up there, thank gog for the trees.

“Karkat?” Fuck the trees. I groaned softly hearing the familiar voice of Sollux. “What the fuck are you doing here? Dave said you were sick.” I closed my eyes, as if that would magically solve all of my issues.

“As far as I know I am” but not the sick that made you stay home and take medications… but the type of sick that made others look at you in disgust with how demented you truly were. “But I needed some fresh air so…” I mumbled.

“Bullshit.” It’s sometimes easy to forget how well Sollux knows me. “Why’d you leave me yesterday?” I could tell he tried to sound offended.

“Don’t pretend you actually fucking care.” He stayed silent… I almost thought he gave up and left… almost.

“Okay, I might’ve been relieved that you left… but that’s because I was scared Karkat.” I felt my heart sink down into my stomach, dying from the acid felt from Sollux’s words.

“Fucking knew it.” I whispered feeling a lump in my throat. 

“I was scared because I didn’t want to lose you.” My eyes fluttered open with surprise. “Karkat, the shit you’re going through is hard and you don’t even fucking trust me with it… I’m afraid that if I make you tell me you’ll fucking hate me okay?” I realized he was laying right beside me, looking at me.

“Why would I hate you? Sollux the whole reason I told you I didn’t want you to hate me… how the fuck could I hate you?” He stayed silent and so did I.

“You punched him Karkat.” Sollux whispered after a few minutes. “Sure he was being a fucking ass, but you’ve never punched anyone before. It was obvious you were done taking shit… And I’ve been giving you some shit too.” He turned his head to look at me. “I wasn’t afraid of you or what you’d do Karkat, I trust you and I know you aren’t some blood crazed maniac…but I know you, and I know you hate facing issues when they’re yours.” The fucker had a point. I stared at his uncovered eyes, one red and one blue, and they radiated worry. “Karkat, “ he whispered, “I wouldn’t be afraid of you if you had a knife against my throat.”

For a moment I almost believed him, almost. A sick smile creeped its way across my lips as I stared at the sky, remembering the look Sollux had given me when I killed Jade and Jane. I remember clearly how he held Aradia as though she were my next victim, and honestly, she might as well have been. It might have been a dream, but my dreams have never been more real. “Why’s that?” I say in order to avoid expressing my extreme disbelief as to what he just said.

“Do you really have to ask?” He acts as though the answer should’ve been clear. “It’s because I love you.” I blinked looking at him. “Platonically you shit.” I couldn’t help but snicker. 

“I love you too.” I said without hesitation, Sollux looked at me for a few seconds.

“What would Dave say?” I opened my mouth, but before I could speak he interrupted me. “I’m kidding!” I grumbled. “Congrats on that by the way.” 

“How’d you figure that out anyways?”

“I noticed he picked you up yesterday when we were supposed to have our talk so I sort of interrogated the shit out of him when I spotted him this morning.” 

“Seriously?” Sollux nodded. “Fucking amazing.” 

“By the way, you might want to avoid Gamzee for a while.” I nodded.

“He must be one pissed motherfucker right now.” I sighed remembering how badly I lost my cool yesterday…hell I was never cool to begin with.

“Yeah.” I looked over at Sollux; his eyes were closed now as though everything was back to normal. I looked back up at the sky, wondering only how long things would stay the way they were before some messed up shit happened.

“Um… am I interrupting anything?” At the sound of his voice, I lifted myself, almost instantly smiling.

“Nah, you have good timing.” Sollux lifted himself too. “We just finished all our trash talk on you.”

“Hurt.” Dave smirked, offering a hand to each of us. I gladly took it and lifted myself up but strangely enough Dave refused to let go of my hand. “By the way, Aradia’s looking for you.” 

“Oh shit, yeah. Sorry Kirkit, gotta run.” I instantly frowned.

“Fuck you.” I flipped him off with my one free hand. 

“Later.” He snickered as he left. I pointed a tongue at him behind his back and kept making funny faces before I realized Dave was laughing. Well fuck.

“You are so fucking cute.” He noted as soon as his laughter died down. “Thanks for coming to pick me up. Are you still feverish by the way?” I blinked remembering his note. When was I feverish? I don’t remember feeling sick, only tired and maybe a bit cold? 

“When was I feverish?” I looked at him fully confused. He adjusted his aviators on his head and, with eyes closed, pressed his forehead against my own and placed his free hand on my cheek. 

“Last night you were shivering and sweating. I tried waking you up but you wouldn’t budge, that’s when I noticed you were by far too hot… both metaphorically and literally.” I blushed and tried to cover it up with a frown. “You still are a bit hotter than normal though.” Much to my dismay, he lifted his head back up and placed the aviators back on his eyes.

“I’ll get over it.” I shrugged, honestly not caring whether I’m sick or not. “But should you be so close to me? I might get you sick too.”

“Nah, I love you more than I care about getting sick. If anything, I could guilt trip you to become my personal nurse. Hell, I might even get you one of those slut nurse costumes.” My face instantly lit up bright red. “Now that would be something I’d pay to see.”

“FUCK YOU!” I shrieked tightening my hold on his hand out of embarrassed frustration.

“You can do that later.” I felt him squeeze my hand back as he snickered. “So, what do you want to do?” I blinked not really having a plan… I knew I’d have to visit Meenah and Latula today again… But I could just do that whenever and it was still pretty early in the day.

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Whatever you want I guess.” He stood there thinking for a bit and I stood there glad he didn’t make me decide as to what the fuck we’d be doing. 

“How about a movie?” I nodded.

“Sure. Which one?” He shrugged. “Don’t I still have to show you all that shit I promised I’d show you- wait did I already show you them in the other timeline?” He made a face.

“Yeah.” I could tell he wasn’t a big fan of romcoms. 

“Okay… How about a will smith movie? Fuck how about Disney? Mulan’s my favorite.” I offered only to hear him snicker. “What?” I glared at him, daring him to say Mulan isn’t the best.

“It’s just that I would have never guessed that out of all of the Disney movies, you picked Mulan to be your favorite.” 

“What’s wrong with Mulan?” I asked leaning my head on his shoulder lazily as we began walking to my place.

“Nothing, I just think you’d be more of a Cinderella kind of guy.” I thought for a second.

“Wait a minute, are you a Cinderella kind of guy?” I eyed him suspiciously. 

“No.” He said after a moment of hesitation. I smirked.

“Oh my gog you are.” I lifted my head and turned my head to face him. “That’s so fucking dorky.”

“Oh shut up, Cinderella is a classic.” He protested while I simply hummed with joy.

“Tell me, do you get uber-sad when the step daughters abuse Cinderella? I still cry a little when Shang kind of disses Mulan after finding out she’s a she.” I then pause a bit. “How about Lion King?” 

“No, don’t you fucking dare bring that up. It’s too fucking sad, so much so that the ironic tears become un-ironic.” He ran a hand through his lux hair.

“Wait a minute, you actually cry for that movie?” I turned most of my body to face him, we were nearly home now.

“Pft. No! Why would I?” He sounded a bit flustered, I chuckled lightly until I realized he was staring at me, smiling fondly. I felt myself tighten my hold on his hand, as if I was afraid he was going to let go. He probably thought I was being a weird fuck but I didn’t care, I was happy.

We got home rather quickly, and decided on watching the Lion King (I really wanted to see Dave’s “man tears”). Strangely enough it was me that ended up crying like a fucking baby over poor Simba with Dave trying desperately not to laugh as he comforted me. 

After the movie, Dave went home and I changed into an old pair of clothes and drove by the park and walked until I reached the fairies’ abode only to have Latula kick my ass (although not as badly thanks to Bro’s massacre) and Meenah try out Aranea’s theories. Apparently bloodApparently blood conducts electricity…why I would need to know that? I don’t know. I can also lift myself about three feet off the ground with my blood, but it’s ridiculously hard to get myself to move around while being lifted by my blood… It’s almost as if I was lifting myself, which I guess I was, except I was using mana to do so. 

In the end I learned little about what I could do and much on what I can’t do, for example: I can’t keep my blood outside of my body for long periods of time and expect my body to readily accept it back but while I take away blood from my body, my body’s production of blood increases.

Eventually I went home, Latula decided to come home with me today… Not that I minded much. She was fascinated with the car, it was actually pretty funny how she would gawk out the window as I drove.

“So, why don’t you drive around more often?” Latula asked still enthralled by how fast the car moved. 

“Not a fan of paying for gas, plus it’s easier to just walk around.” I shrugged as the car came to a stop on a red light. “And honestly, cars are ridiculously overrated.” 

“Fair enough.” Latula was so small compared to the chair that basically engulfed her, it was kind of cute. 

Soon I got home again and took a shower, I decided I would be going to school tomorrow else dad would probably blow a fuse over me being absent too often. It’s not like we do anything worthwhile and I do finish and turn in all of my work early so it shouldn’t be an issue. When I got out of the shower, I put the pills Dave had returned to me and went straight to my bed. I didn’t have anything to do and I wasn’t in the mood for food… All the chores were done and homework was completed.

Latula smiled seeing me lying down… Was she worried? I remembered how I hadn’t had a single nightmare last night. Maybe my streak of nightmares was over? I surely hoped so… I closed my eyes mumbling a quick “goodnight” to Latula before falling asleep.

“Uh… Hello?” I asked, trying to see if there was anyone here. When nobody answered I was quick to drop any attempts of socialization. I wasn’t sure where I was as I stared down at the summoning circle, the last thing I remember I was roaming the school mindlessly before I got here and I started to think that maybe that wasn’t a bright idea. I was alone, everyone else was either hiding from the poor girls suffering from a nasty case of mass mind control…or hiding from me…and yet the restless feeling that something was lurking about wouldn’t leave me. The summoning circle was beautiful… Summoning circles were used by mages to summon familiars, as an useless Nullmage I couldn’t really summon shit- but wait! I wasn’t a Nullmage, I was a blood mage. As fucked up as my magic was maybe it could be used to summon. I took a closer look at the intricate design, trying to determine what it was used to summon and what was needed to summon.

“Noir… Le Poignarder.” I whispered. French? Well, at least I thought it was French, I wasn’t really sure, all I knew was that I brutally massacred the pronunciation of the words. I placed a hand on the beautiful design. “Noir… you must be one tough fucker to have such a granduous design.” I realized the circle needed blood to be completed, but I was reluctant to put any of my blood on there, yet I wasn’t quite ready to take my hand away from the beautiful pattern.

“He is.” I heard a voice behind me, I quickly turned around to see who it was only to feel a sharp pain on my stomach. “Thank you for being my sacrifice by the way.” The principal smiled as I fell on the ground, my blood dripping into the circle. I frantically tried to prevent my blood from staying there for too long, trying to put it back in my body or anywhere away from the circle and yet it seemed like I couldn’t control it. “That really makes my job easier.” I felt the spear used to impale me leave my body as principal Batterwitch retracted it. She placed the spear in it’s rightful place in her hand and began to chant.

“Oh fuck no.” I don’t know whether this was because my blood was in the circle activating it and causing me to know things or because I had read the circle beforehand, but I started to chant back. Soon there was a black creature standing behind me and strangely enough I knew his name as though it was my own. “Jack.” I whispered looking back at him, he stared at me and then at the principal.

“Jack, don’t be confused.” Principal Batterwitch said staring straight at him. “This boy is of no use to you.” I growled, forcing some of my blood to leave my body and attack her like sharp, dangerous spears. She, although only barely, managed to escape. “See? He can’t even aim.” I repositioned the blood to attack her once more and again she dodged barely. I forced myself to lift up and attack again, but then I felt something on my shoulder… Jack’s hand.

“Jack?” I turned my head to face him, only to feel his sword easily cut through my chest. I quickly tried to retract my blood inside my body as I fell on the floor, hoping I didn’t die like this. I saw Jack approach the principal… She was smiling with Malice as she turned around and I could see the smug look on their faces as they left, leaving me lying unconscious on the floor.

When I woke up I felt as though I hadn’t lost an ounce of blood, and I looked it too. I stood up quickly, causing me to feel dizzy. I grunted, walking out of the dark room and away from the blood covered circle. What I saw as soon as I walked out caused me to hold down the bile that threatened to leave my stomach. There was blood everywhere… this was a fucking massacre… Bodies were stacked on bodies and many of them wore the awful, scared expressions they had on seconds before death. 

“Oh gog.” I whispered wanting badly to die right then and there. I forced myself to run towards the screams. They were coming from the main entrance of the building… Many of the brainwashed girls were holding people hostages, and Jack was killing them one by one. Dave was there, my heart sank. “No.” I whispered as Jack killed another victim. Dave, thankfully, was one of the last on the line… I heard a loud crash as another scream was silenced. I looked at the source, it was my dad. What the fuck was he doing here? The crash came from the office by the entrance… he was here the whole time??? I saw the ropes knotted around his arms and a strand of fabric covering his mouth… He was tied down. 

I had never seen dad use his magic, mainly because I didn’t have magic and he didn’t want me to feel secluded. Now as I stared at my dad becoming this weirdass crab hybrid I started to think that maybe he really fucking hated his element. The ropes easily snapped at the pressure of his bigger body, and a loud “SKREE” could be heard emitted from his mouth. “Dad?” I whispered looking at him as he challenged Jack. 

At first, it seemed like my dad was winning… He was fast, and his hands (claws?) snapped dangerously and Jack could only dodge…but as soon as Jack entered the offense I realized there was no hope for dad. I felt tears stream down my face as Dad was cut down. “NO!” I shrieked, running towards him. “Dad…” I cried.

“Son…” His voice was coarse and his magic was dying down, his body started to return to normal. “I love you so much.” He whispered.

“What… what where you doing here? Why were you here????” I yelled at him and he could only smile at me weakly. “No, dad! I love you… st-stay w-with me… stay with me dad.” I started shivering. “Dad???” He was nonresponsive… My eyes noticed a small, folded birthday card on his breast pocket. That’s right, today’s my birthday.

“Jack.” I hissed angrily. I knew I couldn’t defeat him with my weak body, it just wouldn’t do. I stood up, tears burning my eyes and a scowl etched into my face. I did nothing as Jack stabbed me again, he was almost surprised. I grabbed his collar, ignoring the pain emitting from my side.

“KARKAT!” Dave screamed at me. I didn’t even look at him as I let my body fall…but not my blood. No, my blood was surrounding Jack… I was no longer with my body, I was only blood now. 

“This is your fault.” I thought, unable to speak with no vocal cords. I pushed Jack to the wall and began penetrating his body multiple times with my blood… I didn’t care to count how many times I did that, but by the time I let him go there were multiple stab wounds on his skin and the only reason I did stop was because I heard Dave scream my name. I turned around, seeing the scared look on their eyes, I didn’t care. I turned away, looking for the fucker that did this. I was going to kill her, and I was going to make sure it happened slowly.

I screamed, pulling the sheets away from me. Latula instantly came to me, noticing my tear drenched eyes. “Karkat?” I pushed myself away from the bed, crying. I couldn’t… no. This can’t be real. Why the fuck is this happening to me. I have never hated myself so much. This sickening feeling at the pit of my gut refused to leave. 

“KARKAT???” I heard banging on the door, dad… he was alive? No, he can’t be… Jack… Jack killed him didn’t he? “SON OPEN UP!” He yelled frantically, but how could he be he when he was dead? I forced myself to stand up.

“This is a trick.” No, he was alive?? I don’t… I don’t know! I heard myself scream again. I heard Latula and Dad yell at me, they were yelling my name. I can’t live like this.

I CAN’T LIVE LIKE THIS.

I looked around, my room was so unfamiliar… It was so fucking weird. I ran to the bathroom, glad it was inside my room, and glad the door to my room was locked. I didn’t want that monster to find me, how dare he imitate my dad? I grabbed my sleeping pills, thanking Dave for returning them to me, and took them. Fuck, how many did I take? I don’t know. 

I noticed the door bang open, but it was too late now… The imposter won’t be able to get to me. I smiled victoriously as I fell on the ground, feeling darkness take over.

No more nightmares.


	5. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have no idea how many times I wrote and re-wrote this chapter. I basically spent an entire two days on this thing. I'm still not happy with it, and I hate the fact that it isn't as long as the other chapters... But I'm seriously tired at looking at this so here you have it.  
> Also, I've decided to stop the story here for now and work on editing the other pages. That won't last more than a month (maybe less). 
> 
> Thank you so much for bearing with me. Y'all have been great!

I opened my eyes cautiously, unable to ignore the increasing headache, and slowly sat up. The room I was in was slightly familiar… Everything was plastered with white, cleaned to perfection and simple beyond belief. Except for a lean figure with blonde hair. “Dave?” I groaned, my throat throbbing a bit. 

Instantly, the boy looked up at me with his shades tucked away and his eyes bearing big bags. “Karkat??” He was tired. “Oh thank gog.” He got up and practically ran to me. “What the fuck were you doing???” I blinked a bit confused, I looked down and my hands, when did I go to bed? Actually, why was my bed white? “Karkat?” Dave’s voice was now a mere whisper. 

“What happened?” I asked, my headache increasing as I searched for the memories. 

“You took twenty pills too many.” My eyes widened. 

“Why the fuck would I do that??” I started to remember dumping the pills in my mouth… I remember screams, but from where?

“You tell me.” His red eyes stared at my own, almost as if he was interrogating me. I sighed trying hard to remember…and then I did. 

“Fuck.” I whispered as the memories flooded back like one agonizing wave. “Where’s dad?” My voice seemed to whimper and my eyes threatened to tear up. “Is he…” I gulped softly.

"Out. He needed some coffee, desperately. Sollux went with him and they should be back soon… Want me to check?” I shook my aching head lightly glad I still had my clothes on me and not that shitty hospital gown. 

“No. I don’t want to be alone right now.” I remembered Latula was with me yesterday; I wanted badly to ask about her yet I knew he wouldn’t know who I was talking about. I’ll have to try to find her when they release me, again. 

“Why’d you do it?” Dave was worried, his voice threatened to crack and his eyes seemed fixed to me as though making sure I wouldn’t do something stupid. I fidgeted my hands anxiously, dreading the memory. 

“I had a nightmare.” I said bluntly. “Can I please hug you?” I felt myself shaking a bit, just the memory alone made me shiver with agonizing apprehension and the thought that I actually tried to fucking end my own horrible life became a new source of fearful anxiety. Dave was quick to wrap his arms around me, and I was quick to hug him back, squeezing him tight and leaning my head on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.” I managed to whisper, my voice was weak and light and it was almost as though my strength was leaving me. Dave stayed quiet, like he was afraid of making me cry… He’s been nothing but good to me…even now when I basically dis all he’s ever done to keep me safe and alive. “I’m so sorry Dave.” I can’t help but repeat. “I’m so sorry.” 

“Karkat…” He started. 

“I kept having these nightmares… They just don’t stop coming. They never end and…I gave in. I couldn’t take it anymore. I- I’m sorry.” I felt his arms tighten around me; I couldn’t say I minded that action. “There were so many bodies- and…and dad- he...he-“ I felt a big lump on my throat and tears threatened to fall. That’s when the door opened. 

I lifted my head ever so slightly, only to see dad and Sollux come in the room. “Dad…” I whispered. I noticed Dave quickly putting on his aviators, clearly neither Sollux nor dad knew about his eyes. I quickly wiped my eyes before any tear could fall. 

“Hey.” Dad said a bit over enthusiastic. Was he glad I was hospitalized again? “Son, are you alright?” His enthusiasm dropped. “You’re not hurt are you?”

“No dad I’m fine.” I weakly smiled at him, dreary with exhaustion. 

“What the fucking hell were you thinking Karkat?” Sollux yelled straight at me, ignoring any sort of hospital courtesy. Dave opened his mouth ready to start speaking. 

“Honestly I don’t think I was.” I answered Sollux tiredly before Dave could say a thing. “I was kind of half asleep when I tried to take a pill.” I lied. I don’t know whether I lied because I was afraid of giving the truth, or because I was afraid of him receiving it. Dave looked at me with scrutiny but didn’t say a word, I could tell he didn’t exactly approve of what I was doing but I don’t think I cared anymore. 

“What do you mean?” Sollux raised a brow, clearly not buying. 

“Well, I woke up with a startled yell after having a nightmare, which I think was what got dad to come to my room, and went to my bathroom to take a pill.” This was partly true…good enough right? 

“Why didn’t you answer my knocks?” Dad asked. “I was worried about you.” 

“I don’t think I heard them over the drowsy adrenaline I was feeling.” I rubbed my eyes. Dad was someone I loved dearly, yet he didn’t know anything about me… He didn’t really know about how much I hated my life and myself, he didn’t know that I have awful friends since he’s only met Dave and Sollux and he doesn’t know about my element. I don’t know how he’d react if I told him any of the truth. 

“Are you sure you’re alright Karkat.” Sollux asked once more. The answer was no, but Sollux is afraid of my element, or at least I have reason to believe he was. He hated me in the nightmare when I used them, he basically told me to ignore them and pretend they didn’t exist when I was first hospitalized and he doesn’t really know that I’m honing my element. I trusted Sollux with my life, but I can’t trust him with the truth…at least not yet. 

“Yeah.” I lied, gaining a frown from Dave and a relieved sigh from Dad and Sollux. Dave… Now that I’m thinking clearly, I should have lied to him as well. He agreed with Sollux about ignoring the existence of my element… But he traveled back in time for me. “Sorry about the fright guys. I promise I’ll be more careful in the future.” I offered a small smile in hopes of appeasing them. 

“You better you shit. You’re going to give me a heart attack with all of your hospitalizations. Seriously, if you love the color white so much I’ll paint your room for you.” Sollux jokingly punched my arm. He was relieved. I was a liar. 

“I swear to gog if you do that I will paint your face purple with bruises.” I groaned imagining the color white plastered all over my room. 

“Settle down boys! We’re in a hospital, be respectful.” Dad was always going to be dad, but that’s why he’s the best. 

“Hey dad…” He looked at me with a smile. 

“Yeah?” 

“I missed you.” I smiled back, earning a wide eyed stare of pure confusion and later a satisfying smile of contentment. 

“I missed you too son.” He replied. 

“Gog I’m so happy you’re alive.” My voice was soft and small, yet he still heard me and laughed gently. 

“Shouldn’t I be the one saying that?” I smiled lightly, knowing he didn’t understand what I meant and earning yet another frown from Dave. 

“I guess so… Regardless, when can I go home?” I asked eagerly, wanting desperately for life to go back to normal. 

"When the shrink says you're fine. Oh, and y’know shrinks have the truth element right? Can’t lie to them. Just thought you should know.” I blinked at Dave’s words. He was pissed. 

“Hey Mr. Crabdad, do you mind if Dave and I have a private chat with your son?” Sollux said a bit worried. Dad looked at him confused at first, but just shook his head and waved a goodbye as he left. 

“I have to work anyway, see you soon son.” I smiled at him tiredly and then looked at Sollux. 

“What the fuck are we going to do about your element? If the shrink asks about it, you’re fucked.” Sollux urgently said, widening both Dave and I’s eyes, clearly Dave didn’t think of that outcome. 

“I don’t think he’ll ask me that… but I’ll think of something.” I said tiredly, I honestly had no idea about what I’d do if he asked me about my element… I was hoping he’d read my file and just ignore the subject altogether. 

“I don’t really find the idea of you being interrogated with magic at all comforting…maybe we could-“ Sollux was tragically interrupted by the door slamming open with enough force to make Hulk stumble. My mouth automatically opened in shock while Dave and Sollux both stiffened, ready to attack in the blink of an eye. 

“You asshat.” The fierce girl nearly shouted walking towards me. “Do you have any idea what I had to go through to get here??” I blinked utterly confused while Latula used her average sized hand to close my mouth. “What? Are you waiting for flies to get in Grumps?” She said a bit less angrily. 

“I- you… here? What?” I muttered still trying to piece together what was happening. I remember there being a space element fairy whose name escapes me, she probably made Latula this big. Latula’s wings were gone… It might be her memory altering magic? Or she might be hiding it under the new clothes she was wearing –which I’m pretty sure she stole judging by how she never changes clothes and how she doesn’t have any money. 

“I came to visit you Grumps.” Latula sighed. I nodded slowly, still not understanding why she’s appearing in public. “Oh, before I forget…” I looked at her expecting her to finish the sentence but instead I receive a punch to the face. “That’s for scaring the living shit out of me you jerk!” I’m pretty sure she gave me a black eye, surprisingly it didn’t hurt as bad as her usual punches and I easily healed myself. Both Sollux and Dave looked ready to kill her, the only reason for hesitance was my dull reaction of ignorance towards her attitude. 

“Lady, I don’t know who you are but if you lay a finger on him again you will regret it.” Dave threatened lamely only to tense up even more when Latula went over to him. 

“This one’s Dave right?” She asked placing a hand on his chin.

“Yeah.” She examined him, turning his head left to right as he stood there with clear massive discomfort. 

“You’re right, he really is fucking hot.” Both Dave and myself turned several shades of red while Sollux made a poor attempt at hiding his laughter. “I’m Latula by the way, the person training him. I’ve been meaning to talk to both of you but never really had the chance since I don’t get out much.” Latula let go of Dave’s chin and glared at me.“Oh! I’m also here to put an end to your bullshit.” I blinked once more confused. 

“What?” I asked innocently until I realized Latula was a fucking mind elemental mage…she could probably read minds as well as control their memories. “Latula…” I started worriedly. 

“Dave knows you’re lying to both himself and Sollux, and Sollux is doubting you. You might as well tell them before I dive into your mind like an olympic swimmer.” Dave looked at her with a well hidden sad expression.

“There is nothing to say.” I said sharply. “Everything is fine.” I glared right back at her, daring her to disagree. 

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” She shrugged and stared at me, concentrating. I continued to stare at he impassively, trying my best to ignore the awkward discomfort in room. A few moments of silence passed while my mind ached unnaturally until Dave decided to intervene, most likely because of my scowl slowly turning into a pained expression as memories were being tossed around my mind like houses in a tornado; however, before he could say anything, I gritted my teeth and started a rant. 

“Stop this shit you’re doing right now Latula.” I hissed. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I rubbed my aching head in hopes of calming it down.

“Karkat I’m trying to help you.” She sighed, annoyed that she was interrupted. 

“Bullshit. Fucking up my head is most definitely not helping me, if anything you’re making me wish I was in a fucking coma. Stop scrambling around my head, these are my memories and my mind not some cheap pan from Wal-Mart and rotten eggs.” Gog my head was getting more and more painful. 

“How else am I gunna get information about what’s happening to you?! You don’t tell us anything!” Latula was getting as pissy as I was. 

“She has a point Karkat.” Dave muttered. “I don’t like the whole mind reading shenanigan that she’s pulling but you’re making it our only option.” Okay, I lied. I wasn’t pissed before, I was mad. Now? NOW I’m pissed. 

“You want to know why I don’t tell you shit? Fine. I’ll tell you why. First of fucking all I’m still bitter about that fucked up kiss n’reject business you pulled at your place, fuck you for that. Second of all, ever since we realized I can do this,” I made my blood come out of my body and move around and shape it into a middle finger before settling it back inside me, “you two have been telling me to shut up and forget about it. Not only that but the police will go through whatever lengths to make sure people like me don’t exist. Everyone is trained to fear people like me, hell teachers barely even mention it during taboo magic lesson. Dad doesn’t even fucking know I have any sort of element. Not to mention any time we reach this topic it’s only to make sure I kept my mouth fucking shut and my element a secret. Latula’s seriously the only person who actually fucking encourages me to try and learn to control it.” I took a deep breath realizing I hadn’t taken in some air since I started talking. “Honestly, I was thinking of telling you what was going through my fucked up mind but now after violating my head? That thought’s been tossed in the rubbish. What’s happening to me is a new level of fucked up, one involving my element and all of you, save Latula, fucking hate what I can do with my blood. So tell me, if you were a scared, depressed and helpless kid with only three or four good friends who pretend your element doesn’t exist, would you risk losing the only people who make you even slightly sane and happy because you can’t fucking fall asleep? My answer is no. I don’t.” My head felt like a nuclear bomb was detonating inside of it, thankfully the room was silent. 

“Karkat-“ Sollux started sympathetically before three loud knocks on the door startled all of us. A nurse came in, not at all interested in what was going on in the room.

“Good you’re awake. The shrink’s ready for you. Come with me.” Everyone’s eyes widened except for mine: I honestly didn’t care anymore. I dizzily got out of bed –happy once again with the fact that I still had my clothes on- after the nurse disconnected the tubes that were pumping weird water in me and followed her out of the room. Gog, I was glad to get out of there. Much to my dismay, Sollux, Dave and Latula all tagged along silently. We walked and walked in the endless maze that was the hospital until the nurse abruptly stopped. “In here please.” She said as she opened a door. I stumbled in still not quite walking right, the others would have followed me if it wasn’t for the nurse blocking their path and instructing them to fuck off. 

“Hello Mr. Vantas, “ a tall woman in a black skirt and white collared shirt said, “I’m Dr. Lalonde.” She extended a hand, I shook it. 

"I'd introduce myself but it seems you already who I am.” I mumbled silently. The woman chuckled softly, making me slightly less tense for some reason. 

“Please, sit.” She said motioning to a chair, sitting on one himself. I blinked a bit confused. 

“What? No psychiatrist bed?” I asked sitting down nervously. 

“No, one of my previous patients were… a bit fa- overweight and broke the bed. We have yet to get a new one.” I did my best to keep a straight face after hearing this beautiful story. “A chair will have to do for now.” I could tell she wanted to smirk and chuckle too, gog it must have been an awful and amazing moment. I do feel bad for that patient though. 

“Um, you said you’re last name is Lalonde right?” She nodded . “Do you by any chance have a pair of daughters in high school named Rose and Roxy? And a bar downtown?” 

“No, I’m afraid that’s my sister.” I didn’t know Rose had an aunt. “Are you their friend?” 

“Yeah, I guess.” 

“Anyways, I’m going to cast a spell on you now, you will not be able to lie but you have the right to remain silent.” I nodded, feeling my unease return and my headache worsen. The doctor mumbled some words and I started to feel weird. When she finished, she smiled and picked up her notepad and pen. “First question: what’s your name?” 

“Karkat Vantas.” I really wanted to say Jeff Dunham or some other name to sarcastically answer his stupid question, but to my surprise I couldn’t. 

“How old are you?” I really wished she’s stop asking dumbass questions. 

“Seventeen.” I said tiredly. 

“Are you suicidal?” Okay that was a fucking jump. How does “what’s your name?” become “do you crave death?”?

“No.” I said truthfully, fully relieved with my answer. At least now I know for sure I won’t do something stupid. 

“Are you depressed?” 

“I haven’t been tested for it.” I slouched a little on the chair, feeling myself tire more and more. 

“Would you consider yourself depressed?” She tried again. 

“Yes.” I mumbled. Dr. Lalonde jotted a few notes down. 

“What’s your element? Some elements are known to cause depressions, most of those are forbidden, such as time.” For some reason she reminds me of Ms. Meenah right now. I stayed silent, knowing I couldn’t lie. “Karkat?” I started to mentally freak out… 

“S-sorry i-it’s just that…that the t-topic is a bit sensitive.” I said totally not nervous…not nervous at all. I hope and prayed she wouldn’t go further into the topic. 

“Why?” Great, she went further into the topic. I thought for a minute, what are my truths? There has to be a way around this question. 

“Well, e-ever since I was a kid I bullied for being a nullmage.” For once I’m glad I’m the kid that’s fucked up. Lalonde blinked, wrote down a few more notes and smiled softly at me. 

“It’s scientifically proven that no one can be a nullmage. All nullmage cases have proven to be late bloomers… You’ll find your element, don’t worry.” That sounded like something Rose had said a few months back. “I’m going to ask this one more time, okay?” I nodded. “Do you wish to end your life?” She looked at me with scrutiny, as though she didn’t believe my first answer. 

“No!” I gave her an exaggerated expression of shock, clearly not happy that someone would think I’d do that…then again, after yesterday who knows?

“Was yesterday an attempt?” I blinked, and nodded slowly. She jotted down a few notes. “Can you elaborate?” I’m sure she meant on why my two truthful answers contradicted each other. I sighed tiredly. 

“Yesterday was a fluke. I had just woken up from a bad dream…I’m an insomniac so I don’t get much sleep to begin with… And I was tired and couldn’t differentiate dream from reality and I just…I just really wanted to sleep.” I want to sleep now too. “I don’t think I knew what I was doing.” She nodded writing more on her pad, gog I really wanted to die in a bed right now. “I have a question.” She looked up at me. 

“Yes Mr. Vantas?” 

“Why am I so tired now?” I remember being fully awake before… She smiled wickedly, like a child who knows something you don’t and will torture you for that.

“It’s a small side effect. Normally, people who tend to lie will grow more tired with each truth forced out of their lips by the spell, whereas a truthful person will grow more and more energetic.” I blinked a bit shocked. “Why do you lie Mr. Vantas?” Was I really a fucking liar? I guess so. 

“Because…I’m afraid.” I rubbed my tired eyes hoping to energize myself somehow. “I’m afraid of losing loved ones.” I elaborated before she could ask. 

“Are you sure that’s the case?” I looked at her with utter confusion. “Maybe what you’re afraid of…is of finally being happy.” I opened my mouth ready to protest, call her ridiculous and question why the fuck would anyone be afraid of being happy…but she started talking before I could. “Some people, who’ve been bullied tremendously since youth begin to fear change. It’s comparable to a child who has only held broken toys suddenly being gifted a brand new toy, the child could be afraid of the toy breaking no matter how careful they are while handling it.” I guess that made sense. “A person with this fear might feel uncomfortable if they aren’t worried, anxious...or even sad.” 

“If that is what I’m afraid of, how would I fix it?” I looked down at my closed hands. 

“Well, I’d suggest therapy.” I frowned. “But you could always begin by facing your fears. Maybe stop telling lies and trusting at least one person.” I stayed quiet. “Do you trust anyone?” She asked me. 

“No.” I said flatly and exhausted. 

"Do you think you ever will?” I opened my mouth to respond, but I didn’t have an answer. Would I ever get over myself? “I see.” She murmured softly. “Karkat, “ this was the first time she’s called me by my first name, “this behavior of yours is anything but healthy. Perhaps you should reconsider alienating yourself from people who could potentially care for you.” She didn’t write anything down this time. 

“It’s hard not to. People are just too complicated.” I muttered. She stared at me for a moment and smiled softly. 

“And so are you, yet I believe I saw three caring individuals trying to follow you in here.” I blinked trying to think of any reason why she’d be wrong. I thought of plenty, yet none of them seemed right. I stayed quiet as she wrote down some last notes before smiling and looking at me. “Alright, well you’re clearly not suicidal. I strongly suggest therapy sessions but otherwise you’re free to go. The nurse will take you back to the room to pick up any belongings you might have left behind. Do you know where the checkout table is?” I nodded. “Good, hand them this.” She quickly wrote down a note in the hieroglyphic cursive text that only other doctors understand, ripped the paper from her small notepad and gave it to me. She then chanted a few words and all of the sleepiness I was feeling vanished

“Thanks.” I said standing up, very proud that I refrained from cussing wildly during the entire session. I walked to the door, relieved she didn’t discover about my blood element. “Really, thanks Doc.” I said opening the door, hoping the trio of shit heads were still around. I noticed the same nurse from before, chewing her bubblegum and messing with her dark red hair, was waiting for me. I closed the door behind me and looked around. 

“I sent your pals back into your room, which reminds me…get your crap and fuck off.” I blinked trying my best not to laugh at how piss poor her attempt of being a rebel was. “Room’s straight through the hall and turn left and then right. It’s number 404.” 

“What if I can’t find it?” I asked already walking that direction. 

“I don’t know. Scream Marco, maybe it’ll yell Polo right back at ya.” I rolled my eyes and followed her directions. After a good five minutes of pacing around and nearly yelling Marco, I found it. I looked through the small little window on the door and noticed that the three of them were sitting in random positions and arguing quietly. I pressed my ear to the door, still not hearing shit. Fucking stupid spy movies and they’re filthy lies. 

I stood in front of the door for a few seconds, taking in a few breaths. “Come on idiot, get this over with.” I whispered to myself as some half assed attempt to encourage myself. I placed a hand on the nob, feeling my heart pound furiously. I turned it quietly, knowing that this would be the last possible chance to turn around and walk away. My last chance to stay safe, to avoid negative scrutiny and glares… I opened the door silently. 

“-didn’t have to fucking do that! Do you know how fucked up his life has-“ Sollux was interrupted by Dave placing a hand on his shoulder, looking straight at me. Fuck, I felt my limbs failing on me, ready to make me fall into a puddle of what used to be Karkat. Sollux turned his head and looked at me and so did Latula. They all opened their mouths, ready to include me in the argument or maybe just try to get me to fucking open up. 

“Shut the fuck up and listen.” I was surprised with how stern I was, judging by their expressions they were too. I mentally counted to ten in hopes of calming me down. “You wanted to know what was going on with my head?” I asked rhetorically, Dave was about to answer before I cut him off. “I said to shut up, if either of you mutter a word I’m turning around and fucking leaving.” What a fucking lame threat, but it looked like it did the trick. 

I took a deep breath, wondering in silence where to start. I knew I could still turn around and leave, but I had to do this. “It started off with hallucinations and daydreams,” I noticed their eyes widening, not at all expecting me to tell them this shit; I was half tempted to say ‘psych’ and leave. “somewhere around the time I met Dave or maybe when that piece of shit Jack started his killings. No wait, that’s not right… I remember it truly started when I saw a couple of Jack’s victims lying dead in the park. Since that lovely experience, I started having fucked up images of dead people and other people covered in blood flashing in my head from time to time. I’m pretty sure it had to do with my weird ass insomnia problem.” I took a short anxious breath. “Soon it went on to being nightmares, usually about me killing people with my element.” 

Sollux opened his mouth to speak, but quickly closed it… I mentally thanked him as I wasn’t sure if I could handle whatever comments he was going to give me. “The nightmares actually started on one of the nights from when I was first hospitalized. I think I died in the nightmare, I don’t remember most of it since I try to forget all of it. Then I killed Rose, except it wasn’t Jane and Jade…rather it was a fucked up versions of them. After that, it moved on to a fucked up version of Rose getting killed. I think at one point Aradia was injured too.” I rubbed my head, only really able to remember the face Sollux made. I had a small inner debate as to whether or not I should mention that to him.

“And Sollux, “ I started, deciding not to leave out any detail, “I remember vividly receiving the most hateful glare from you after you saw me use my blood magic for the first time in the long series of nightmares, which I guess was the main reason why I didn’t really want to tell you any of this.” I shrugged, looking anxiously at my hands. “In plenty of the nightmares I’ve had, I died and killed in many different ways... personally my favorite was when I was stabbed in the chest and had my head chopped off.” I forced a chuckle, it came off more distasteful and dry than I expected it to. I struggled to remember any more of the daydreams or nightmares. “Oh, and I think I also had a hallucination where we were all hostages? Hell if I know.” I crossed my arms struggling to remember. Eventually I gave up and decided to move to a more recent nightmare.

“Now as for last night, I’d say that was one of the more mentally traumatizing dreams I’ve had.” I looked at the clock, it was 2:58 pm, no wonder I was hungry. “The summary of that one is: I helped make Jack, Jack killed my dad and I went ballistic and mental and fucked him over with multiple stabs, and to make things even better, in my dream it was my birthday.” I tried to sound as stoic as I could, but fuck that nightmare still terrified me. “Anyways, because of this mind numbing crap that I’ve been dreaming about, I started to stop sleeping.” I bit my lip for a second, deciding to indulge a bit on my thought process. 

“I did that since the nightmares just made me feel more of a fucking evil piece of shit that would use their blood magic to kill people or something. It’s not a comforting feeling, and it kinda makes me reminisce about the beautiful times where I was simply bullied for being a nullmage.” I said tastelessly. “It’s really breath taking having an entire civilization say you’re some kind of a monster and your subconscious mind back it up with messed up images and dreams.” I said, obviously sarcastically. After all of this personal information I just dished at them, I couldn’t really think of anything else worth sharing. “Anyways that about wraps it up nice and tight like a Christmas present.” 

I glanced at them slowly, wincing as I saw dark, unhappy faces. I scoffed, what did I expect? Happy bright smiles thanking me for coming clean? Pats on my back with reassuring words? No, too impossible. “Oh, and the nice nurse lady wants us to scram. I hope you all are satisfied now. Well, goodbye.” I said turning around completely, opening the door and leaving. 

I managed to stay stoic and expressionless as I went to the checkout kiosk, turned in Lalonde’s notes and left the hospital and walked to the park. I stayed calm and collected for as long as I could before I found a nice empty place behind a tree. I quietly sat down, leaning against the trunk and balancing my arms on my knees and biting my lips as I squeezed my eyes shut tight. I really wanted to scream out of frustration from every fucking thing that’s happened to me since I was a kid, but I don’t think the nice little nest of birdies above me would appreciate that. 

It was calming hearing the birds chirp softly towards the sky, and it was surprising to find any birds out doing the winter. Actually, what the fuck were these birds doing here? Sure this place isn’t exactly winter wonderland but it’s still very cold. They must be suicidal as fuck to stay here. Then again, winter never goes bellow zero…maybe once or twice but so far it’s been only slightly under room temperature. I guess these birds are just really fucking tough. Okay why am I flipping out over birds? “Moron.” I whisper to myself. 

I took in a deep breath, closed my eyes and finally starting to relax (which is impressive considering how worked up I am right now). Of course, the moment I start to doze off is the moment the birds up top decide to sing Metallica ten notes off key. I opened my eyes and glared at them ready to yell at them to shut the fuck up…only to notice all three of them were looking at the same thing, I turned my head to face that thing only to widen my eyes and stand up abruptly.

A dark figure was flying closer and closer towards me, rocketing down from the sky (almost like a meteor). I, thankfully, decided that standing there like an idiot paralyzed with fear was not a very good idea, so I turn around. There were people here, I can’t run back to the hospital…knowing Jack, he’d probably cause a massacre to get what he wants. I turn around again, looking around hoping to find some place, any place really, that I could run to and maybe have a chance of not getting killed or whatever the fuck Jack wanted to do. 

There was a small trail that lead to Slenderman’s forest (which really was just the woods belonging to the park ) and another that led to the big city. How many people would I be putting at risk if I ran to the city? Actually, was Jack even coming after me? Fuck, I don’t know…this shit makes no sense. I started to run to the forest, wondering whether I’m just overthinking all of this or not. I mean, what the fuck would Jack want with me right? Thinking back to the night Jack and I met, it could have been a simple coincidence! I have no idea why he didn’t kill me on stop but whatever right? There’s no way he’d come after me right? 

I looked back. He was definitely coming after me. Why the hell does this shit only happen to me? Fuck, I was getting tired of running, tired of dodging conversations, tired of acting like everything was fine and tired of convincing myself it was. I need a break. 

It wasn’t soon before I realized he was getting closer and closer to me…Saying with the trail wasn’t giving me enough cover, but after watching the Wizard of Oz I learned to never abandon a trail…ever. Okay what the fuck is wrong with me? Am I seriously making a game changing decision to stay on the trail because of a fucking movie with flying monkeys on it? Fuck that. I quickly ran out of the trail, hoping that there wasn’t any pack of flying monkeys waiting to assault me with bananas or whatever it is that monkeys like assaulting people with. Not to my surprise, there were no flying monkeys. 

I continued to run endlessly into the middle of nowhere, soon I was wondering if I was making Jack kill me harder or easier. I knew I wasn’t a fighter, fuck I was lousy with any sort of weapon. I’m pretty sure the only reason I’m still alive was because the last time I fought Jack, I surprised him with my blood. Right now I stood no fucking chance…but that doesn’t matter because I’ve decided that I was going home tonight. 

Adrenaline pumped inside my veins as I dodged branches and ran farther and farther into the wilderness. I looked back again, seeing him persistently following me through the woods. Honestly, for some reason I pushed myself to run faster, feeling a sharp pain in my unfit lungs. My muscles ached with each step I took, but like fuck I was letting myself stop running to take a tea break. I looked back again, he was closer. This was seriously not going anywhere…I pushed myself to run faster. 

Once more, I glanced behind me, but this time I didn't see him. Of course I knew he didn’t simply give up the chase…did he? I slowly halted, unsure of what I should do. I looked back in front of me, rookie mistake. This was one of those moments I regretted not watching horror movies. I screamed loudly, and instinctively forced my blood to eject out of my body and attack the dark figure standing millimeters away from me. Jack somehow managed to dodge the bullet fast spikes of blood by flying up. I recalled the blood and began running again, regretting my halt, I hadn’t realized before but I was practically heaving for air. I closed my eyes wishing I was a fucking blue hedgehog with neat shoes. When I opened my eyes, I bolted to a stop. “FUCK.” I exclaimed, wide eyes staring down the cliff I almost fell off. The fall wasn’t big, I would have only broken a bone or two at most, but those were bones I’d rather not break. I quickly climbed down, throwing away any ounce of caution. 

I decided to hide a bit under the cave and hope he thinks I’m still running. In case he didn’t get fooled, I had a few drops of blood ready to act as weapons. Jack flew right above me, I smiled surprised this actually worked. I was a fucking genius! I wish I had another version of me to hug in victory and celebrate with. 

Alas, my victory was short lived for he stopped flying and started hovering, sniffing the air… I forgot he was part fucking dog. I readied my blood, seriously pissed that I wasn’t home drinking my sorrows away. Jack turned around and stared straight at me… For a second, I thought I saw a snarky smirk on his weird ass face. “Fuck you.” I whispered in response. 

Jack, stood there silently staring at me. I wasn’t really sure what the fuck he wanted, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t follow me all the way over here to have some hot coco and talk about his day at work. As the seconds progressed, my heart rate slowed and the adrenaline running in my veins vanished. I refused to drop down my guard, but honestly this seemed to be a repeat of the last encounter we had. If I remembered correctly, I turned around and he vanished… Maybe if I do that again the same thing will happen? I didn’t want to turn around, so I settled for closing my eyes for roughly five seconds.

Big. 

Mistake. 

When I opened my eyes I nearly shrieked again, Jack was once more right in front of me. His arm was raised, and his sword was ready to slash me open. I guess this is a better way to hit the bucket than taking dumb pills. I closed my eyes, finally accepting defeat. 

I felt a dull pain on my head, and suddenly everything went black. 

…

I woke up in a dark room.


End file.
